Pre-wedding Parties

Engagement Party Questions

I just have a couple of questions and concerns about Engagement Parties...
I have never been to one, so I have no idea what to expect.

Is it ok for my SO and I to host the E-Party?
Who is usually invited?
Is a potluck picnic tacky?
How much notice should be given? (No out of state guests for this)

My So and I were hoping to use this as a chance for our families to meet one another. We were thinking of having it on a Saturday next month. Because of this we were just going to call and invite guests, and set up a Facebook Page (Invite only) with details.

We wanted to have a potluck picnic at a forest preserve, but my mother thinks it is a bit tacky.
Our other idea was to have someplace like Corner Bakery cater it, or if we get a grill in time then we could host a BBQ at our home. (I want to avoid this though, because we just moved, and have a serious lack of furnature.)
Its not the destination so much as the journey, they say. - Captain Jack Sparrow Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Engagement Party Questions

  • mcskatcatmcskatcat member
    500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited May 2012
    You can have *a* party that the two of you host, so long as you don't call it an engagement party, and no, potluck would not be okay.  An engagement party is thrown in honor of the couple to be wed, and it would look pretty snotty to throw a party in your own honor, right?  

    If you want to have a dinner party just so your families can meet, then say that's what it's for and host it yourselves.  It need not be wedding-related.  If you can't afford to host much, keep it simple or have it at a non-meal time of day, and then you could just do light snacks.  

    Edit:  also, Corner Bakery would not at all be my first choice to cater something.  I like them and all, but it is so hit or miss that I would be hesitant to use them for catering.  
  • Just found this: Wedding Engagement Party: Who Hosts Engagement Party? Q. Is it appropriate for a couple to initiate their own engagement party or is someone from either of the families supposed to do that? A. Anyone can host the engagement party, although traditionally the bride's parents host the first soiree. But, more and more couples are opting to throw their own engagement parties these days, so go for it! Also, you don't have to stop at just one party. If you and your fiance want to have a party for your friends and family, your parents can have a separate one later. The more the merrier!
    Its not the destination so much as the journey, they say. - Captain Jack Sparrow Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Look, you'll find this out when you go to register, but a lot of people in the wedding industry don't care if you offend people.  As far as advice on etiquette goes, don't get it from TK unless you're getting it from the E board.  The person who wrote what you quoted isn't an etiquette expert, and by no means a trusted source on this subject.  You should look it up on Emily Post or Miss Manners.  

    Like I said before, just don't call it an engagement party.  Say that you want the families to get together to meet each other.  It's not that hard.  
  • Honestly, I plan on having an engagement party, but it's mainly going to be just my immediate family and my fiance's immediate family. We just want to celebrate our engagement/let our families meet each other/get to know each other better. I planned on my fiance and I to "host" it, but honestly we just plan on it being super laid back, nothing that formal, so I think if you're planning on something similar to that, then it would be fine to host it and stuff. I think it just depends on who you and your fiance and both of your families are like. We are all pretty easy going and since it's just family, they aren't going to judge or anything. Everyone's different! Do what you want! :)
  • now i have mixed feelings about all of this. 
    point1- my mom is a single parent, no way on earth is she going to plan an engagement party because lets face it, she aint that social nor rich!
    point2- my fiance family is in mexico, so all he has are good friends.
    point3- we planned to have a cookout and call it an engagement party at our new to be home! and will be just inviting good friends to announce the beginning of our future. 
    ITS 2012, YES ITS BETTER TO HAVE A FORMAL ENGAGEMENT PARTY BUT IF YOU WERE IN MY STICKY SITUATION, WHAT OTHER CHOICE WOULD YOU HAVE! 
    I SAY DO WHAT PLEASES YOU AND YOUR OTHER HALF.
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