Moms/grandmas/aunts at the Bachlorette Party???

orangespiders

My mom will be crushed if she is not invited to the bachelorette party even though she refuses to dress up. The theme is drag queen and we are going out dancing. My mom is super cool, heavy metal, mom though.

As for FMIL or granny's I just couldn't imagine they would have a good time. Even not drinking, none of my friends do, we get pretty rowdy. They just wouldn't have any fun and would want to leave.

mikkabonel

I didn't read all of the responses so maybe this is redundant BUT I definately think it is weird for the Grandma (my mother is REALLY close to me and we aren't doing the heavy drinking thing, so she will be there but NOT grandma). However, if you want to be careful and play safe, I would suggest having an early dinner (like 5 or 6pm) with Grandma included and then go off with your Ladies after. This way they all feel included but you dont feel like you have to be on best behaviour later

AshScarangella

OH PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't want to be doing shooters with my Granny....what is wrong with these in-laws???? That is just weird.

 I don't know what kind of Bachelorette's these ladies have been to in the past that makes them think this is normal. I mean, I'm not going to have a stripper at my Bach or drink out of straws that are shaped like particular male body parts (ahem)...lol, but I still wouldn't want my mother-in-law or grandmother there! It's a a night for the bride and her girlfriends!

Maybe you can have two separate parties? Good luck!

swelchphr

Invite them to the bridal show, but the b-party would be a little weird.

reason00

LOL @ this...I would SOOOOOO not invite them to the bachelorette party. WTF. That's like inviting guys to the shower. Screw it.

JloveB

I think your SIL is confusing a bachlorette party with a bridal shower, you invite all to the bridal shower and you keep the bachlorette party for just really close girlfriends and your bridesmaids...your not even required to invite your SIL to that but if you want her there than you can but the bachlorette party is reserve for close friends of the bride not every woman in both families.

AUTeach

Easy fix: Plan a dinner for the oldies, then head out with your girls later.  This was you keep the peace with SIL and Granny doesn't have to watch some dude wave his junk in your face. Also, she is out of line to tell you to invite anyone to YOUR party...but it's best not to say it.

safisblessed

Awkwaaarrrrddd!! Ha ha ha! Moms, gmas, and etc. should be invited to showers and showers only, unless gma wants to get her freak on and is into lap dances ha ha ha (no disrespect).  I know of some gmas who are. Tell SIL that the idea is inappropriate, and you got confermation from FMIL.

hestonh

Well, I guess my family is weird because I never even hesitated inviting my Mom and Grandma! They are bigger partiers than ME! I am sure they will have a blast as will I!

jmu510

in my family every lady comes to the party! we are just a fun group. ive seen my grandma in law doing blow job shots THE RIGHT WAY!! (only using your mouth, no hands) my in laws have a wild side and like to have fun but its your party and your the one that needs to have fun. if you dont want them there for the whole thing just invite them to dinner before hand or have two one with your girls that gets wild! and one with your family tame and enjoyable. just dont get to worked up about it they just want to be apart of this exciting time in your life as much as they can im sure they mean no harm!! 

jgmcrf26

It is your party and you should feel comfortable with who is there.

I am having my Mom invited just because we are super close and it would mean a lot to me for her to be there (plus, it would hurt her feelings to not be invited, but that's not why I'm inviting her).

If you feel bad about, have lunch with those women sometime during that week before the wedding, then, maybe, not being invited to the Bparty won't bother them.

amatadei

Who is hosting your b-party? Usually, you don't throw one for yourself, so I'm just curious. Perhaps the hostess can put her foot down, since it's her planning it so I assume she's the one inviting people. You can talk it over with whomever is hosting the party for you and find out if she would be willing to extend an invite to the moms and grandmoms for the earlier part of the evening. Find out what the plan is and, as a team, tell FSIL who is invited and who is not.

Unless FSIL is the one throwing the party, in which case, good luck!

lolobigosh

I don't think people should be so quick to say moms, gmas, etc should not be invited.

Your FSIL should not tell you to invite anyone, it is your decision.

However, if you were to want them there, then that is totally fine!

My mom is for SURE coming.. and I'm also extending the invite to FMIL. We are going to a drag type dinner/show and going out drinking. However, I am not inviting the gmas, but simply because it would not be something they are interested in. If you have a cool gma, I don't see a problem in inviting her!

TopazAngel

LMAO what a presumptious girl she is! Invite who you want, it's your party. I don't suppose you can uninvite SIL? Sounds like you'd have more fun without her ;P

I would DIE if my grandma came to my bachelorette party. Haha.

defstar82

no one should demand who to invite! and that would be REALLY weird if they were.

sschulth617

I had my mother and aunt at my party.  Granted, most of my friends were out of town so we did something small and not extravagant and I am really close to my family to where it didn't feel awkward.  BUT, it is YOUR party and you should have the people you want there.  Your SIL was out of line for inviting people without first seeing who you wanted.  If they have already been invited, I could see where they will be offended if they are disinvited.  Maybe, like others are saying, have a party for all those that have been invited and then go out with your friends and BM afterwards.

mrsthoser

She's definitely out of line. Why would Grandma Betty want to go see a male stripper or get excited about "toys" or get drunk? (assuming that will be happening ; ) ) It would be better to invite aunts/grandmas/FMIL to the bridal shower, not the bachlorette party. They'll care more about the gifts and traditional games.

mrsthoser

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_momsgrandmasaunts-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:64afbdd5-114d-4f83-b5c5-9b52a27d5ab0Post:acf07f53-4a92-4cc4-a3fe-35c653eba9db">Re: Moms/grandmas/aunts at the Bachlorette Party???</a>:
[QUOTE]GIRL !!!  Firstly- nip it in the bud with the FSIL- let her know that YOU decide on the guest list- after all- this is YOUR wedding, not hers !  Secondly, wasn't there a movie that involved a grandmother and a bachelorette party and granny ended up with anal beads around her neck the entire time thinking they were glow-in-the-dark pearls ?????  Either way- her insisting on the elder family members be invited to something like this suggests that this FSIL has issues !  Good luck with everything and God Bless !!!
Posted by bibbus[/QUOTE]

Yes, that was "Made of Honor" I believe. Excellent movie but definitely proves that grandma shouldn't be at the bachlorette party - only the bridal shower (which in the movie I think that was intended to be!)

iwillrock90

i know kinda late but it is your decision who to inviet but if u choose to inviet them you could giv them reminers of ways bp are don these days for a majority of ladies and ask if they are comphy with that. other wise they can have all fun and stuff at the wedding.... my cousin at her bp had a lot of our family at it and our 85 year old gma was there.... they had nice hunky men dancing and one danced right next to/on gma they said she got a kick out of it but it was the reddest she had ever been and that it was good times....

akj3598

Go for dinner first I was maid of honor for my friends wedding last summer we had a nice dinner and drinks with grandmas and moms of noth the groom and bride then we said our goodbyes headed for the limo and the BM's and close friends spent a night out on the town.

Elise&Andywedding

My cousin had a bachelor party that lasted the whole day. During the day all of the family members mothers, aunts, cousins, grandparents, grandmothers in law, mothers in law, etc. they did a wine tasting outing then at night all the close friends of the bride were invited to a night out on the town. The same occurred for the Bachelors party

heloise7

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_momsgrandmasaunts-bachlorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:64afbdd5-114d-4f83-b5c5-9b52a27d5ab0Post:95c9fd4b-043a-4460-9d7e-517218dc1a9a">Re: Moms/grandmas/aunts at the Bachlorette Party???</a>:
[QUOTE]Makes me glad my grandmas are dead, and so are FI's.  Not that I wanted them to die or anything, just that I'm glad to not have to think about this.  And hopefully both our moms and aunts will be too busy to go out with BMs and me.
Posted by I Want Cake[/QUOTE]

What an absolutey disgsting thing to say.

 I am English and so we don't go crazy and have about three seperate events to celebrate being a B2B. We have a Hen Night.
Mine was the other weekend. I invited my Bridesmaids, close friends, Aunt, Sister in Laws, Sister, My Mother, FI's Mum, FI's Aunts and my 83year old Grandmother. It was a great night.
I did what I wanted to do and what I knew would suit others too.
We went to a local Choclatiers and had food, champagne, chocolate, games etc.
We all then moved on to a local cocktail bar that I had hired for drinks. Later in the evening, the older generations left and those that were left went out on the town for drinks and dancing. May I add my 83year old Gran and my mum were the last to leave before the dancing started, at about 10:30pm. My aunt stayed out with us 'young 'uns' till the wee hours.
It was great fun and I was so pleased that all the special wonderful people in my life could come together and have a good time together. Everyone enjoyed themselves and got along.
It never dawned on me to not invite the older generations. I wasn't intending on doing anything I would be ashamed of or that would make anyone blush. I also have lovely friends who understand there is a time and place for everything and so the willy shaped drinking straws and necklaces came out once my Grandmother had left.
I am having a dinner with my friends from work to celebrate next month.
In a few weeks my flower girls (6,4 and 10) and I are having a 'tea party' together as they wanted to come to the Hen but are obviously too young.
I think American weddings and the whole process are generally a lot more regimented and rule led than British weddings, where we have traditions but nothing is set in stone. Just chill out and do what you'd like. If you aren't intending on making a fool of yourself and you get on with your inlaws I don't see what the problem is reallly. Compromise.
As my very wise and fair mother said to me 'The wedding is about you two but there are some people you will have to please.'. Sometimes its easier just to make a small sacrifice. Yes, its not fair it has been dictated to you but hey, its a small matter. You will still have fun and, what is more important and should be your main focus when you get stresed, you will soon be married to the man of your dreams. Whatever you do, the outcome is the same-wedded bliss;so just compromise. Its not the end of the world.
xxx

Shinnyshoe

I'm also from the UK and I'm inviting both my mum and "to be" mother in law also my gran and aunt to my B-party because they are just as friends to me as my MOH/BM.  I think after all the planing we have done I think they deserve a night on the town, my Gran even enquired if we were having a stripper shes 80 and said it would be funny. I think they all would be quite sad if I didnt even ask even if they dont want to go.

crystal27lynn

I think it depends on what you are doing. There is no harm in inviting them if you aren't doing anything to naughty. We plan on going to the spa or something girly during the day while the guys are golfing. Everyone meeting up for dinner that evening and going to some clubs and then making our way over to the strip clubs. So if my "older" relatives wanted to go to the spa, dinner or even a bar or two I wouldn't mind. However them going to the strip club with all of us may be a little ackward. My fiance's step-grandmother is in her 80's and has more spunk that myself and could out drink all of us so I would love to see her have a good time with us.

TiaMatthew

Here are my thoughts.  It is your party, not theirs.  It is a time to have fun with your girlfriends and I'm sure you love your mom and FMIL, but why would they want to go.  If they have any brains, they would know that it is not a place for them to be.  YOU are the bride, invite who you want.