Pre-wedding Parties

Only bridesmaid expensive parties! help!

Hi, new poster here!

I've been planning my March 2013 wedding for 6 months. My best friend, who is my maid of honor I have 3 in my entourage total recently got engaged too, and is having her wedding a month after mine.

She is having a small 20 people wedding at a courthouse, followed by a 100 guest reception. Since the ceremony will be so small, she's asked me to be her maid of honor and then later informed me I will be her only attendant.

I am a little stressed out at trying to fulfill my duties as her maid of honor, but that's not the problem. She wants an allout bridal shower 30 and a big bachelorette party, including 10 girls, fancy dinner, and clubs. I am a bride on a serious budget and I simply cannot afford to host one party on my own, let alone two. My own bachelorette party is going to be a simple dinner and go kart racing. Anyway all of these expenses will fall right around my wedding day or right after. I wish her wedding would be six months later so I could afford everything, but obviously I wouldn't ask her to move it. She has suggested a cobachelorette party but I don't wantt to ask MY other bridesmaids to pay for parties that are so extravagant and not my style.

What can I do? Any advice would be really helpful. I know I need to talk to her, but I don't know where to start. I don't want to be rude or selfish.

Re: Only bridesmaid expensive parties! help!

  • You have no obligation to throw a party, she is taking advantage of you by requesting such a big fancy party! I told my MOH whatever fit her budget. We just played your typical silly bridal shower games, but everyone loved it! And for the bachlorette party, we basiclally just did a slumber party. It was fun to act like high school girls and have a girl's night out. 

    I can't believe how rude she is to tell you this is what I want and you have to pay for it. Just do what you can and if she wants her big fancy party, then she'll have to pay for it herself. 
  • Thank you! It's so refreshing hearing other takes on it. My FI is super hardheaded think a 35 year old Red Forman from That 70s show and he thinks I should just back out but I dont want to. I didn't realize that people who were invited to the ceremony were the ones who should be included, so thank you! Now that I'm armed with outside advice, I think what I'll do is sit down with her over lunch and hash this out. I can only imagine that she's probably a little worried about finances herself with her own wedding so close to mine. Thanks again!
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    ditto pps.

    If you decide that  you would like to host a shower,  it's okay to ask others if they would like to  co-host with you. Do you know any of the brides other close friends or relatives? The shower and bp do not have to be thrown by the wedding party.




                       
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