Pre-wedding Parties

Who pays? (Partial rant...sorry!)

When I was a bridesmaid for my FSIL, her MOH told us we each had to pay to attend the batchelorete party. She told us since the hotel room was $170 and change, we each had to pay $30 and change. OK, fair. Then she wanted all of us to do mani's and pedi's. Everyone's nails and brides totaled $183 with tip, so we each paid $32. We get to the hotel, have dinner at their quite pricey restraunt, and again, pay for the brides tab. There goes $37 bucks! Now we get upstairs to the room, and there's a passion party host up there telling us to buy things for oursleves and for the bride. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!! Let me tell you, there was no item under $20 there either. After the passion party, we went to the night club at the penthouse part of the hotel. Wanna guess who we all paid for? Total for the bar tab at the night club plus cover charge: $200! So each girl, minus FSIL, paid $40.  Total per person for one night: about $140.00.

Now, here's the question. Was that the right idea to do? My sister is throwing mine, and my mom told her that she'd have to pay the whole thing. If each attendee pays a portion, what is the best way to those going the estimated cost?






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Re: Who pays? (Partial rant...sorry!)

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    The best thing is for the hostess to say, "What are some ideas?  What is in your budget?" and then go from there.

    Generally the bachelorette doesn't pay her way but IMO when you're dealing with an overnight all bets are off and she should chip in.

    I also think if you're dealing with an overnight then the person putting everything together needs to be up front with anticipated costs.
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_pays-partial-rantsorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:7c808fd2-6ce5-4357-bd57-91b499366a6fPost:ee5f3580-36ff-40b5-a53b-869dab0cfc93">Re: Who pays? (Partial rant...sorry!)</a>:
    [QUOTE] IMO when you're dealing with an overnight all bets are off and she should chip in.
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.  Some of these parties are huge and outrageously involved/expensive, and I can't imagine being asked to pay so many expenses.  I know not everyone does this, but in my circle, a bachelorette party is going out to a bar or two and buying a few drinks for the bride, not paying her way through a variety of activities and gifts.</div>
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    Exactly!  My bachelorette was dinner and drinks.  The overnight stay was at my friend's house.  I had a blast and the friends didn't have to go broke to do it.
  • winechic25winechic25 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Mine was just last weekend, and it was out of tpwn, but that was the bridal parties decision. 

    That said, when the invites went out, an entire estimare of costs was included to help people make informed decisions up front. 

    They paid for themselves and split the cost of me for:
    Two nights hotel
    A "class we took"
    Concert one night

    I paid for all of my own food and drinks the entire weekend. 
    It was also a fairly large group, so all of my expenses were probably pretty minor when split by everyoe, but I still understand the concern. 

    I think if paying for this is expected or being asked, it needs to be spelled out completelty up front!
  • edited December 2011
    I agree, my friends and I always pay for hotel and other stuff, like Chippendales or something. But I plan on buying my drinks, etc. (Plane ticket obviously)
    I guess you just have to go by "tradition" Ive been on lots of bachelorette trips to Vegas or wherever and spent probably $1,000 for the weekend. But I had a blast everytime, and now its my turn :)
    You dont have to go this "big" though, drinks and a night at a friends house are always a fun time too!
    Just remember to THANK everyone.
    image
  • edited December 2011
    Oh always!!! I thank people for everything. From catching a closing door when I have my hands full to picking up a pen. Thank you's will not be an issue!! Smile









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  • edited December 2011
    Me too :)
     
    As a BM (5 times in the past 2 years), my friends and I have done an e vite and break down the plans for the weekend. Which includes: Hotel, (including price per person) where we are going for dinner, clubs were going to, shows, etc.
    Guests can then look these places up to determine an expected cost.

    No matter what, you have done it for them, now its your turn!
     HAVE FUN! :)
    image
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks Matty! I'm sure no matter what happens, I'll have fun :)



    September 2013 Moms Siggy Challenge: The Thing I Miss Most Since Being Pregnant
    Replacing the water cooler! And other heavy lifting
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    Lilypie Maternity tickers
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Batman was supposed to be a symbol of hope and bring justice. Not spark violence.
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