Pre-wedding Parties

Wedding Shower Help - I'm afraid I won't have one!

So, I am the oldest of my parents 3 daughters and the first to be getting married, and I have no clue how all this planning is supposed to work. I have heard that traditionally the Mother of the Bride planned the bridal shower, but I don't expect my mom to do all of that work. She has more than enough on her plate. The problem is, no one - not my bridesmaids (sisters), future mother in law, future sisters in law, friends, etc - has mentioned planning any type of bridal shower for my fiance and I. I am not a super traditional bride, but I also don't want to miss out on the entire experience most of us brides dreamed about when we were little girls! I didn't even get to go to a bridal show because no one wanted to go. Is the shower something I delegate to someone? I don't know what the etiquette is for this...Should I even have one at all? What are your experiences? I could really use some advice... Undecided

Re: Wedding Shower Help - I'm afraid I won't have one!

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    If your wedding isn't until August then it's no wonder no one has mentioned a shower. Showers are a gift. You don't get to tell someone you want one unless you're asked by the hostess for input.
  • edited December 2011
    i can certainly understand wanting a shower!  it is part of the experience for most brides :)

    thankfully, your wedding is still a ways away.  my mom didn't approach me about a shower until recently, and my wedding is less than two months away.

    it would be thoughtful of someone to ask, and i hope they do!  however, the etiquette police advise not to hint about wanting one since it's considered pushy.

    chances are, someone in your life will throw you one.  and if your mom doesn't have time, she might be able to co-sponsor.  It can be organized and/or paid for by multiple people!

    good luck with your planning and i've got my fingers crossed for your shower!
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  • edited December 2011
    i agree with banana. i understand as much as you would love to have the shower thrown for you so you dont miss out on anything it's really your mother and BP's call whether or not they want to throw it for you. It's traditionally supposed to be a surprise and unfortunately its really bad etiquette to expect one. As a bride, we have too many other things to worry about, having a bridal shower definitely shouldn't be one of them.
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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Showers aren't traditionally a surprise.  They can be but don't have to be.
  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto pps. Don't delegate this-- they are gifts. Most people don't get showers till a few months or even weeks before their weddings. Don't sweat it yet. Chances are that someone will throw you one. 
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  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for your input ladies! I have felt so clueless (and embarrassed to not really know anything about wedding planning!) through this whole process...your comments help a lot! Smile
  • edited December 2011
    I ditto what the other PP's have said.

    On a separate note, I recently went shopping for a wedding organizer. They have a lot of really great ones that have all the details in them. Seriously, every question you may have more than likely will be answered in them. I opted not to get one and make my own because 1. I'm not having a huge, traditional wedding with all of the frills and 2. This is my second wedding. I pretty much know what to do. I just needed something to keep my stuff in and write down my ideas, notes, dates, etc. Anyway, here are 3 that I thought were really good, found at Barnes & Noble:

    "The Ultimate Wedding Planner & Organizer"
    "My Wedding Organizer"
    "The Very Best Wedding Planner Organizer & Keepsake"

    Good luck to you and Happy New Year!
  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    >>I have heard that traditionally the Mother of the Bride planned the bridal shower,

    What?  Relatives of the bride do not host the shower because that would be completely gift-grabby:  "Please attend this party for my daughter and bring her a really great gift..."

    A bridal shower or a wedding shower is a GIFT given by the MOH and BMs.

    >>The problem is, no one - not my bridesmaids (sisters), future mother in law, future sisters in law, friends, etc - has mentioned planning any type of bridal shower

    Showers are held within a 6-week window prior to the event.  If you have a shower, it would be in July or early August.  Why would you expect the planning to be going on in December or January?  The planning for a July event would typically occur in May.

    >>I didn't even get to go to a bridal show because no one wanted to go.

    Where I live, there are bridal shows about three times a month.  If it's like that where you live, you would have about 24 to choose to attend, single or with family/friends, prior to your wedding.  And if no one wants to go, go by yourself.
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