Pre-wedding Parties
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Second Wedding Bridal Shower

I am getting married for the second time. The first time I was married young and was only married for 9 months and we never had any kids.

I have three bridesmaids (my 2 sisters and my FSIL) My 2 sisters live out of state. One is getting her doctorate and the other is in law school and my bridal shower is the last thing on their mind and they threw my shower for me for the first wedding. There's no one to plan my shower. I thought about having a couples shower - like a cocktail party but with no one to host it I feel like I should just not have a shower at all. It's my fiances only marriage though and I feel like his sister, mom and grandma would want the experience of a bridal shower but is it rude to ask them to throw me a shower?

Re: Second Wedding Bridal Shower

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    quotequeenquotequeen member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_second-wedding-bridal-shower-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:8655ce44-08f1-43f0-a93f-cf15262ac7e5Post:6d1ae9d4-6ba8-4e63-b907-6ce2288122c8">Second Wedding Bridal Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am getting married for the second time. The first time I was married young and was only married for 9 months and we never had any kids. I have three bridesmaids (my 2 sisters and my FSIL) My 2 sisters live out of state. One is getting her doctorate and the other is in law school and my bridal shower is the last thing on their mind and they threw my shower for me for the first wedding. There's no one to plan my shower. I thought about having a couples shower - like a cocktail party but with no one to host it I feel like I should just not have a shower at all. It's my fiances only marriage though and I feel like his sister, mom and grandma would want the experience of a bridal shower but <strong>is it rude to ask them to throw me a shower?</strong>
    Posted by LinzBtoBe[/QUOTE]


    Yes, it is always rude to ask somebody to throw a party in your honor.  If nobody offers then you don't get one.  Many people believe that showers are inappropriate for second weddings, regardless of how long the first one lasted or how young the bride was at the time.
    Married 10/2/10
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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I recently went to a bridal shower for a woman getting married a second time.  She has two young children from her previous marriage.  The shower was thrown by her future mother in law and was a good time.

    If your future mother in law (or whoever) wants to have a shower, they will plan one.  Don't stress about it and - please - don't ask for one! :)
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    Kristin789Kristin789 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    >>his sister, mom and grandma would want the experience of a bridal shower

    The bridal shower is for the bride's closest friends.
    SOMETIMES the MOG is invited too.
    RARELY is the groom's sister invited unless she is one of the bride's closest friends. 
    VERY RARELY is the groom's grandmother invited unless she is one of the bride's closest friends.

    If the groom's sister, mom and grandma want to go to a party, they can host an engagement party to introduce the bride to the groom's extended family. 

    But parents of the bride and parents of the groom don't host showers.  That would be completely gift-grabby.
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    edited December 2011
    Yes, it would definitely be rude to ask someone to throw you a shower.
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    trix1223trix1223 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_second-wedding-bridal-shower-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:8655ce44-08f1-43f0-a93f-cf15262ac7e5Post:89b76201-f0a4-41e8-a12f-0d9f0b7b4f81">Re: Second Wedding Bridal Shower</a>:
    [QUOTE] />>his sister, mom and grandma would want the experience of a bridal shower The bridal shower is for the bride's closest friends. <strong>SOMETIMES the MOG is invited too. RARELY is the groom's sister invited unless she is one of the bride's closest friends.  VERY RARELY is the groom's grandmother invited unless she is one of the bride's closest friends. </strong>If the groom's sister, mom and grandma want to go to a party, they can host an engagement party to introduce the bride to the groom's extended family.  But parents of the bride and parents of the groom don't host showers.  That would be completely gift-grabby.
    Posted by Kristin789[/QUOTE]

    I have never, ever, ever been to a shower where the MOG wasn't included.  When my son was married, both of his sisters (who were members of the WP) were invited, as was I, his grandmother, and his aunts.

    When my DD was married, her then FI's sister was invited, as was his mother, both of his grandmothers, and his aunts.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with Trix. To not invite the MOG would be a very public slight. The sisters and grandmothers are included, also.

    And it is acceptable, here, for the MOB, MOG or sisters to host/co-host or assist with the shower. 

                       
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    edited December 2011
    Yeah I wouldn't ask them to throw you a bridal shower, and on that note unless it's been like ten years since your first marriage, you really shouldn't need all new things in the first place.  
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