Pre-wedding Parties

do I give a gift?

One of my good friends from college is getting married. I am going to the wedding but it is to much on my budget to go to the shower as well. She lives 2 hours away and for a few hour event I feel like its to much.  Should I still send her a gift for her shower or not?
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Re: do I give a gift?

  • lauraf1202lauraf1202 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your call.  For a good friend, I would.  But I don't think people would be surprised to NOT receive a gift from someone who couldn't attend a shower, you know? 
  • edited December 2011
    Agree that it's your call. Although, just from my personal perspective, even if it was a good friend I probably wouldn't send a shower gift, I would just send a slightly more substantial wedding gift. I'm a fan of shipping, not bringing, non-cash/gift card wedding gifts so paying shipping twice just seems silly, if I'm not even going to attend the shower.
  • loop0406loop0406 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I personally send a gift if I don't attend an event out of courtesy. I would send a small gift from her registry with a card.

  • edited December 2011
      I couldn't make it to a friend's shower this past summer. I didn't send a gift for it, but I did buy them an extra nice wedding gift.
  • i2012doi2012do member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe things are different where you are from.
    But I think, and this is IMO that you absolutely should 100% send a gift.
    Even if its a small gift for $20 bucks that fits in your budget. Go to Bed bath beyod, get something small from the registry- or even a Cook book for $15 bucks and send it along with a nice note.

    Its the thought. You said it was a close friend.
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  • edited December 2011
    I don't think you have to send a gift if it just isn't in your budget. I would still send a nice card and well wishes though. I couldn't afford to send a friend a gift recently. I ended up buying/sending her wedding present last month even though her wedding was in September. I just didn't have the money and she totally understood.
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    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I would never expect a family member or friend to send a gift to my bridal shower if they couldn't attend.

    If you feel obligated, send a nice card. If it were me, just the fact that my close friend was thinking of me, especially when she couldn't be there, would mean the world to me.
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  • StephieBowStephieBow member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    If it is a good friend of mine, I send a gift if I'm going to miss the shower (or I find a way to see her another time to give it to her depending on where she lives.)

    Even though I can't be there, I still want to be able to participate in some way.  That said, it is entirely up to you.  Turn the question around - if you were getting married, would you think it was really nice that that particular friend sent you something even though she couldn't be there with you.
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