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Strip club clarification

I've noticed alot of brides on here that are not comfortable with their fiances spending time at a strip club with some strange woman grinding on them for their bachelor parties.  I, for one, am in agreement with them....I feel the same way.  I think it is disrespectful to the bride if she isnt comfortable with it.  If she doesnt care then no big deal.  But I wanted to clarify a couple of things that others have been posting in response to these women.  I dont know if any of you have ever been to a strip club, but the "no touching" rule is a crock!!  There is ALOT of inappropriate touching that goes on, especially if the stripper thinks that the guy is attractive.  The first time I ever went to a strip club (to see what it was all about) I saw a woman go up and lay on the stage and pull her shirt up while the stripper came over and started sucking on her nipples!  It was disgusting!  My cousin also used to be a stripper and gave me the low down on what REALLY goes on in those places.  As for strippers that come to your house......if you think all they do is dance and leave, your wrong.  If their is more than 1 stripper, they are performing live porn for the guys.  I only speak from my own personal experience, but these are the reasons why I am totally against the whole stripper thing in the first place.  So, women, if you are uncomfortable with it, speak up!  Dont feel like your gonna be a "Debbie Downer" and "controlling" if you are uncomfortable with it.  Your fiance should respect how you feel, after all you are about to be married!  If he wasnt frequenting strip clubs before, a bachelor party is really no reason to now.  You can trust your fiance but dont trust a stripper who will do just about anything for tips.
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Re: Strip club clarification

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    KtCaKtCa member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    The whole "stripper experience" is outdated anymore.  Now that people are getting married later in life (people have pre-marital sex, so couples don't rush so much just to have sex), it's not even a tradition anymore.  It seems juvenile to most men also (at least that I have talked to).  The only draw as a mature man to hang out at a strip club is usually for the "guy time".

       My FH and his friends that were married before him would much rather do a fun activity.  Who wouldn't like to take a beer tour, go zip-lining, go quading, mountain climb with the guys, and then go let loose at a club with some drinks?

     But to tell you the truth, you have less to worry about with women that get paid to take their clothes off than with actual girls at a bar.  From what I have been told, strippers never go home with guys, b/c they get hit on all the time and it gets old.  I know that I got over the lines really quickly when I was a bartender, and never went home with any drunk guy at the bar.
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    edited December 2011
    Most awesome thread title ever!
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    tlbattagliatlbattaglia member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:c8e8e531-09d9-478b-897d-e91f6d232b40">Re: Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE]Bottom  line:   you either trust your fiance, or you don't. If you don't - then you've got bigger problems than a bachelor party.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    I don't totally agree with this.  Sometimes it's not a trust issue, it a respect issue.
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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks, Mom.  Err... giraffegurl.
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    tlbattagliatlbattaglia member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:7c3e067c-347f-44db-b2e3-3511f157accb">Re: Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks, Mom.  Err... giraffegurl.
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    Thanks for adding that.  It really made the post.
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    SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:c8e8e531-09d9-478b-897d-e91f6d232b40">Re: Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE]Bottom  line:   you either trust your fiance, or you don't. If you don't - then you've got bigger problems than a bachelor party.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    Egg-sactly.
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    tlbattagliatlbattaglia member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Respect does go both ways.  But what does the that have to do with the post?
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    AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:cc501df1-ced8-4c50-8591-62f70e06832f">Re: Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Strip club clarification : Thanks for adding that.  It really made the post.
    Posted by tlbattaglia[/QUOTE]

    Hmm - I'm not sure what to make of this response.

    Regardless, I find this entire post a little preachy, soapboxy, and out of nowhere.  Like the OP has some inside information on the whole deal-o and we should all sit up and listen.
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    SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:3a55ce60-9e42-4003-8935-9726cbbdb08d">Re: Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Strip club clarification : Hmm - I'm not sure what to make of this response. Regardless, I find this entire post a little preachy, soapboxy, and out of nowhere.  Like the OP has some inside information on the whole deal-o and we should all sit up and listen.
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    I felt the preachy vibe as well. If you ladies honestly want more inside info on strip clubs- read Diablo Cody's Candy Girl. Seriously.
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    edited December 2011
    Is that really what goes on?
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    SSaltzman87SSaltzman87 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:e4b87d57-98d5-4481-b7b7-22fe56705d4d">Re: Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE]Is that really what goes on?
    Posted by aleighk1[/QUOTE]

    Depends on how sleazy the place is really.

    Most of the clubs here in MN are pretty well run and have strict rules about conduct between patrons and dancers.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:c9fe0477-dc73-4a30-a1b9-35beb52f92b9">Re: Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Strip club clarification : <strong>Sweetie, no offense, but I think your cousin was a prostitute, not a stripper.</strong>  Yes, I've been to strip clubs.  Lots of them, all over the US.  DH used to WORK in one, and I have at least a half dozen friends who have at one time or another danced. The places you are describing are in no way reputable gentlemen's clubs.  They are places of prostitution and drugs.  Personally, neither DH nor myself patron establishments like that, and fear of getting inappropriately touched isn't even in the top 5 reasons why we avoid them. Please diversify your view before preaching your personal very limited world experience as gospel truth and trying to scare people over to your side.  Do those places exist?  Yes.  But, that's where the trust issue comes in.  You either trust your guy and his friends NOT to search out a crack-den just so they can get their nipples sucked on by a stripper or you don't.
    Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

    <div>Just choked on my coffee. Lol</div>
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    jeanna85jeanna85 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:8a6ed952-d86e-4364-bf03-fce934424694">Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've noticed alot of brides on here that are not comfortable with their fiances spending time at a strip club with some strange woman grinding on them for their bachelor parties.  I, for one, am in agreement with them....I feel the same way.  I think it is disrespectful to the bride if she isnt comfortable with it.  If she doesnt care then no big deal.  But I wanted to clarify a couple of things that others have been posting in response to these women.  I dont know if any of you have ever been to a strip club, but the "no touching" rule is a crock!!  There is ALOT of inappropriate touching that goes on, especially if the stripper thinks that the guy is attractive.  The first time I ever went to a strip club (to see what it was all about) I saw a woman go up and lay on the stage and pull her shirt up while the stripper came over and started sucking on her nipples!  It was disgusting!  My cousin also used to be a stripper and gave me the low down on what REALLY goes on in those places.  <strong>As for strippers that come to your house......if you think all they do is dance and leave, your wrong.  If their is more than 1 stripper, they are performing live porn for the guys. </strong> I only speak from my own personal experience, but these are the reasons why I am totally against the whole stripper thing in the first place.  So, women, if you are uncomfortable with it, speak up!  Dont feel like your gonna be a "Debbie Downer" and "controlling" if you are uncomfortable with it.  Your fiance should respect how you feel, after all you are about to be married!  If he wasnt frequenting strip clubs before, a bachelor party is really no reason to now.  You can trust your fiance but dont trust a stripper who will do just about anything for tips.
    Posted by giraffegurl2002[/QUOTE]

    FYI- those are prostitutes, not strippers. I have no problem with strippers at bachelor parties (I think most women who do are just insecure or their relationships lack the trust thats necessary for a successful marriage) BUT I would draw the line at live sex shows because its over the top and frankly, illegal in most states.
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    Simply FatedSimply Fated member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:8a6ed952-d86e-4364-bf03-fce934424694">Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE]I've noticed alot of brides on here that are not comfortable with their fiances spending time at a strip club with some strange woman grinding on them for their bachelor parties.  I, for one, am in agreement with them....I feel the same way.  I think it is disrespectful to the bride if she isnt comfortable with it.  If she doesnt care then no big deal.  But I wanted to clarify a couple of things that others have been posting in response to these women.  I dont know if any of you have ever been to a strip club, but the "no touching" rule is a crock!!  There is ALOT of inappropriate touching that goes on, especially if the stripper thinks that the guy is attractive.  The first time I ever went to a strip club (to see what it was all about) I saw a woman go up and lay on the stage and pull her shirt up while the stripper came over and started sucking on her nipples!  It was disgusting!  My cousin also used to be a stripper and gave me the low down on what REALLY goes on in those places.  As for strippers that come to your house......if you think all they do is dance and leave, your wrong.  <strong>If their is more than 1 stripper, they are performing live porn for the guys. </strong> I only speak from my own personal experience, but these are the reasons why I am totally against the whole stripper thing in the first place.  So, women, if you are uncomfortable with it, speak up!  Dont feel like your gonna be a "Debbie Downer" and "controlling" if you are uncomfortable with it.  Your fiance should respect how you feel, after all you are about to be married!  If he wasnt frequenting strip clubs before, a bachelor party is really no reason to now.  You can trust your fiance but dont trust a stripper who will do just about anything for tips.
    Posted by giraffegurl2002[/QUOTE]
    If I told my boyfriend he wasn't allowed to watch porn anymore, that might be a deal breaker for him.
    And I'm not sure what that has to do with strip clubs, anyway. Hell, you can see that stuff at the neighborhood bar.
    Is he just not supposed to go anywhere anymore unless I'm there baby-sitting him?
    I trust him enough not to touch a stripper. I trust him enough to walk away if a "stripper" propositions him. I trust him enough to turn down sexual favors. I trust him enough to know that he wouldn't cheat on me. Ever. Even at a bachelor party. In a strip club. In a bar. At work in the copy machine room. I don't know if his job actually has a copy machine, but my point is I don't understand why brides freak out over their fiances going to strip clubs. If she is afraid he is going to cheat on her... if she is afraid he won't be able to control himself.... then they have relationship problems.

    I've been to many strip clubs. You can usually tell the difference between a well reputable one and a 'skanky' one. Stay away from the skanky ones.
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    edited December 2011
    I completely agree with Retread. 

    1) If you trust your FI, then it doesn't matter what acts of sin are going down in a strip joint.  At all. 

    2)  It's not a matter of being cool or uncool with something.  Are you okay with him watching naked chicks at all?  If so, that's a conversation you probably should have in week one so he can stop watching porn. If it's the other "dirty, behind the scenes stuff" - well that's cheating, so I hope you're not okay with that. 

    To be blunt, I don't think much more can happen going to a strip club than even just letting him go to the bar with buddies.  He could still pick up a chick there, right?  The bottom line is trust.  And respect is a two-way street.  Don't expect him to respect your wishes if you won't have an open conversation about it with him.
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    loop0406loop0406 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Yes, for extra money the strippers can do 'extra' things but the Fiance/Husband doesn't have to take it that far, strippers will not do oral, anal, vaginal intercourse for free, they're trying to make money.  I agree with RetreadBride, if you don't trust your fiance, you have bigger problems than bachelor party. It's not about 'oh you can trust him but not the stripper' because the stripper won't do things for free like I said at the beginning of this comment.....if the fiance wants to go somewhere and you say no, he will probably do it on the side anyway, during his lunch hour, etc. It's better to be open and communicate in a relationship/marriage.
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    Ashes_3Ashes_3 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've been to female strip clubs before and they aren't bad *depending on the one you go to*. I can understand why women don't want their husbands going, but then you shouldn't go either!! It goes both ways. I know my FI has no desire to see a stripper, but I told him if he wanted to go, he could. I trust him and respect him and he respects me enough not to do anything out of character!
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    junebug62511junebug62511 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My FI and I went went to a strip club together and it was both of our first times having been at one. It was pretty reputable and there was nothing going on that I would have called inappropriate.
    Plus, I trust my FI 100% and I trust his judgement. If anything inappropriate were to occur I believe he would leave right away.  Hell, I was the one giving my FI the dollar bills to give to the stripper!!
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    edited December 2011
    I don't want FI going to a strip club or having a stripper come to any houses and vise versa for myself.  I don't have any trust issues with my FI and he trusts me soley as well... that's why we are getting married... BUT porn is  A LOT different then seeing a LIVE show.  Something about another girl giving my man a lap dance is not cool.  Whether HE could touch her or not, I don't think it is RESPECTFUL for anybody else to be "pleasing" him.  Plus, the whole bachelor party/bachelorette party symbolism as "this is my last night being single" is so innappropriate.. and not morally right.  You have not been single since you have been with that person.  I think going to a bar, having a few drinks, even doing something fun is no problem. 
    My FI and I have come to an agreement with NO STRIPPERS.. and that was originally his idea.  
    I do realize that others have their own opinions.. this is one I feel strongly about. 
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with you rclarke. While everyone is going to have their own opinions, and whatever works for them is great. Personally, I also think that there is no reason for anyone else to be "pleasing" him. Yes, I know men can just as easily get aroused walking through the mall, but purposefully seeking out a woman who is not your spouse (soon-to-be) for that pleasure, is just wrong and disrespectful. And I also agree with you that it is not his last night "single" to be enjoyed like a single man, because he's NOT single! That just doesn't make any sense!

    While I don't want to be that girl that makes up rules for his party, because I do believe it should be wild and fun, "wild and fun" doesn't need to include naked women. I don't care what else he does...I'll bail him out of jail in the morning and we'll have a laugh over it.

    To the plenty of women that are fine with strippers, and encourage their men to enjoy their parties that way, that's great for them! And for the plenty of other women who aren't cool with it, I agree that one night of watching a bunch of barely-clad women girating around is just not worth the discomfort it would cause. I don't think that discomfort means that the woman is "insecure" or "jealous" as some other women have put it. It's completely normal for us to feel that way. Whether or not a stripper is there, I think it's all about repecting boundaries. As long as each partner knows and respects the other's boundaries in this area, that's all that matters. If you know, but don't respect your partner's boundaries, then maybe you have a real problem.
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    edited December 2011
     "I have no problem with strippers at bachelor parties (I think most women who do are just insecure or their relationships lack the trust thats necessary for a successful marriage)"

    This is incredibly obnoxious.

    How about this.

    I have a big problem with strippers at bachelor parties (I think most women who pretend they don't are just too insecure to speak up or their relationships lack the respect that"s necessary for a successful marriage)"





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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:1e40e2f8-77fc-4440-b706-52b7d2d069a3">Re: Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE] "I have no problem with strippers at bachelor parties (I think most women who do are just insecure or their relationships lack the trust thats necessary for a successful marriage)" This is incredibly obnoxious. How about this. I have a big problem with strippers at bachelor parties (I think most women who pretend they don't are just too insecure to speak up or their relationships lack the respect that"s necessary for a successful marriage)"
    Posted by raniacharles[/QUOTE]

    This is amazing. Period.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:1e40e2f8-77fc-4440-b706-52b7d2d069a3">Re: Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE] "I have no problem with strippers at bachelor parties (I think most women who do are just insecure or their relationships lack the trust thats necessary for a successful marriage)" This is incredibly obnoxious. How about this. I have a big problem with strippers at bachelor parties (I think most women who pretend they don't are just too insecure to speak up or their relationships lack the respect that"s necessary for a successful marriage)"
    Posted by raniacharles[/QUOTE]

    This, FTW!  My fiancé is marrying <em>me</em>.  Swearing to be faithful til his dying breath to <em>me</em>.  This means that I am the only woman he gets to see naked ever again.  This means that I am the only one he should need to satisfy his needs, sexual or otherwise.  I've made it very clear, from the beginning of our relationship, that porn and strip clubs are not acceptable.  And you know what, ladies?  He's told me that I'm the only woman he <em>wants</em> to see naked.  I don't understand how marriage vows jive with looking at porn and going to strip clubs.  I trust my fiancé, but I also will not put up with that kind of disrespect.
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    edited December 2011
    I am a dancer/ stripper to start off
    its a personal choice and if a bride is uncomfortible with it then her husband to be should understand that.

    as far as what goes on it has become " a single guys makeing fun of the groom sort of thing" for getting tied down. at the club i work at and( i cant generlize because they are all different) the typical batchlor is brought on stage danced on a little but then beaten with a belt drawn on with permenant pen striped of his clothing ridden like a dog and dressed up like a girl. the guys and the dj all tease him why would he want to get married bla bla bla

    im not sure why any one in there right mind would want to endore this ......


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    ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:10a2160a-1d41-42c3-a785-2157a2ad242f">another point of view</a>:
    [QUOTE]I am a dancer/ stripper to start off its a personal choice and if a bride is uncomfortible with it then her husband to be should understand that. as far as what goes on it has become " a single guys makeing fun of the groom sort of thing" for getting tied down. at the club i work at and( i cant generlize because they are all different) the typical batchlor is brought on stage danced on a little but then beaten with a belt drawn on with permenant pen striped of his clothing ridden like a dog and dressed up like a girl. the guys and the dj all tease him why would he want to get married bla bla bla im not sure why any one in there right mind would want to endore this ......
    Posted by mike416[/QUOTE]

    troll...
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    banana468banana468 member
    First Answer First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't know Manwa. I know of two guys who were rather hurt at their bachelor patties. One was beaten with a belt and the other lost at whipped cream wrestling. Neither of them could get out of bed the next day.
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    uzannesayuzannesay member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fiance asked me how I felt about strip clubs and I said i don't have a real issue with strip clubs. I told him I would prefer something else but I have a bigger issue with private parties. I work in the fire department with all guys and the private parties they give are legendary. He had respect enough for me to ask and i gave an honest answer. Since he's older he told me that he isn't interested in either and since he works for the department as well he has actual been to some of those legendary parties and isn't into them.

    I don't see anything wrong with telling your fiance your uncomfortable. Ultimatums I think may be to much though. If he knows you and fits you he should know the right thing to do and he should prefer to do that rather than have one night with a complete stranger grinding on him.
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    ManwaithielManwaithiel member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_strip-club-clarification?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:97316d8f-8ea5-4073-9b1d-4b2e0cb35b86Post:1902238d-ca65-435f-aeea-2e2a349852c2">Re: Strip club clarification</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't know Manwa. I know of two guys who were rather hurt at their bachelor patties. One was beaten with a belt and the other lost at whipped cream wrestling. Neither of them could get out of bed the next day.
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    O_o

    Are you serious? That is crazy...

    I was kinda thinking the run-on sentences and lack of capitalization denoted someone stirring up trouble...that's so weird.
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    banana468banana468 member
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    edited December 2011
    I know - so weird!

    The belt whipping occurred in the shower too.

    Now at BIL's bachelor party, I don't think there was any humiliation involved.  The guys went up to a VIP room at a club and they got lap dances or watched. ( I was also fine with DH getting lap dances since it was his brother's bachelor party.  It's not like he gets them because it's a Monday. )So beating up the groom doesn't happen at all strip clubs but it's certainly done at times. 
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    edited December 2011
    Wowwwww!!!  So first of all let me clarify something.....my cousin is NOT and NEVER was a prostitute.  And whoever posted that is rude.  Period.  The reason I started this post in the first place was because I felt bad for the women on here that seemed to be struggling with whether they should be speaking up to their fiance about their negative feelings about strippers.  I just wanted them to know that they shouldnt feel bad about how they feel, and that it is OK to expect your future husband to respect your opinions and feelings.  As for the other things I said about strip clubs and private parties, well, those are first hand experiences and things I know of from many people close to me who have been to strip clubs in my area and have been to several private parties with hired strippers.  I am not really sure what the difference is between a "classy" and a "skanky" strip club......didnt really think there was such a thing as women taking their clothes off and grinding on strange men for money and it being classy but whatever.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and whatever works in your relationship is fine.  I just dont think that someone who is not ok with it should be bombarded with posts telling her that she has "trust" issues and shes being "controlling" and all that crap because she is entitled to her own opinions and feelings also.  It is just as okay to be uncomfortable with strippers as it is to be comfortable with them......just a matter of personal preference that should be respected.
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