Used Gift for Bridal Shower

kimdivagirl

Hi! I am maid of honor for my friends wedding and I am thinking of doing a cafe theme for her bridal shower, because her whole family loves coffee. I plan to buy a good quality espresso maching to make the coffee drinks at the party, and then give it to her as her gift, but is it bad that it will be used first at the party? I don't want it to seem cheap to give it used, but I cannot afford to buy two so she has a brand new one as a gift and still have one for the party.

banana468

I wouldn't do this.  While she may love coffee  technically she shouldn't use the gift because if the wedding were cancelled she would have to return the gift.

Besides that, it's time consuming to make coffee drinks.  Unless the shower is really intimate, I'd advise against something that can't be mass made.

caseyhaynes429

I would give it to her as a gift. I think she will really appreciate all the thought you put into it because you know her and her family love coffe. I think it's a great, thoughtful idea.

waltzingmatilda13

I wouldn't use it first, for the same reasons banana gave and because although you know she loves coffee, she may not like the particular machine that you buy. While we never want to think about people returning our gifts, it does happen, even sometimes just to upgrade or downgrade.

banana468

fwiw, giving her the gift itself sounds great.  It's using it that I think is a bad idea.

hlq2011

I agree with Retread; as long as the OP doesn't expect it back (or is okay with getting it back used, and non-returnable) if the wedding doesn't happen, then it's okay to use it.

But yeah, I'd make sure she really likes that particular machine before you give it to her, since she can't return it once it's used.

lindenheart

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_used-gift-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:b9f65256-dd6c-4949-9e03-d5a836f999b9Post:0eedea2d-0c64-4b3c-82f7-b2c7a7fa0fc6">Re: Used Gift for Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]If the gift is from her, and she isn't planning on asking for it back, this is fine. Wrap up a note. "Hi, Sue! The espresso machine is YOURS, girl!"
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

This! Give her the machine and let her know that no matter what happens with the wedding, the machine is hers. I'm assuming that if you're her MOH, you guys are pretty tight. If any of my friends thought up such a creative idea as a cafe-style shower and went to the trouble of making the drinks, and then let me have the machine when the party was over - I would feel exceptionally blessed and grateful to have such a good friend!

rkatz8

TACKY ALERT
nope, you do not give someone a used gift. i'm sure you could find a cafe in your town that will let you throw a shower there for a low cost. then you can give her a nice, clean gift of that coffee machine. if you can't afford it on your own, ask other bm's and guests to chip in.

tbandeg

 I second lindenheart! I think this is a very thoughtful shower AND gift idea!

HerNameIsNik

Here's an alternate idea if you really don't want to go the route of using the espresso machine. I do coffee-themed parties for work from time to time and use flavored Starbucks Via, or if funds are low, the powdered instant cappuccino or mocha mixes that you can get in a variety of flavors. Add some fun details, like whipped cream topped with surup, flavored surup for the coffee, and a selection of creamers (Bailey's anyone?). This with plates of cookies, cinnamon rolls, coffee cake has always been a hit. If it were me, I'd get the espresso machine, tie a big elaborate bow around the box, and have it in the center of the table, with whole beans scattered around. If I was the bride I'd melt with joy to get such a wonderful gift!

ShannonRenee87

i disagree! my friends and I threw my friend a shower with a salad bar, and gave her all the salad bowls and servers as her gifts, she loved it! Just because a gift is given like that does not mean it has to be returned.....