My best friend's mom flipped out on me! Help!

smapes

My best friend and brother are getting engaged next week. My friend is always saying how she and her family don't have money for engagement/bridal/wedding things. She wanted an engagement party badly. So I started planning a surprise party for her and my brother. I rented a hall and it was going to cost about 4 thousand. Im a teacher so that's a lot for me. I was happy to do it. I told her Mom that this engagement party was something my family wanted to do to help out. Later on I asked her Aunt to put together a guest list for the invitations. The next day my friend's Mom called me  and flipped out saying "This is MY daughter... What the hell are you dong... You should have asked me first... I need to be included in everything...: so on and so on. I was hysterical crying. I really tried to do something out f the kindness of my heart and I get shot down and it hurts so bad. I don't even want to do it anymore. It feels tainted. I told her Mother that I shuldn't have over stepped my bounds, the couple isn't engaged yet, so let's not get ahead of ourselves, and lets put it on hold for now and talk about it again in a couple of months. (But I'll make sure I say I have no money in a couple of months). Am I rght or wrong? She wants to meet up and talk about this again this weekend! HELP!!!!

lindseyann410

You posted this on 3 other boards as well.  If you want to post the same thing on multiple boards, please put XP in your title.

MairePoppy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_friends-mom-flipped-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:bb906b77-5fc8-4047-ba7d-a6211792fc65Post:03ba4276-c9a3-49cc-9997-216684cb3cbc">My best friend's mom flipped out on me! Help!</a>:
[QUOTE]My best friend and brother are getting engaged next week. My friend is always saying how she and her family don't have money for engagement/bridal/wedding things. She wanted an engagement party badly. So I started planning a surprise party for her and my brother. I rented a hall and it was going to cost about 4 thousand. Im a teacher so that's a lot for me. I was happy to do it. I told her Mom that this engagement party was something my family wanted to do to help out. Later on I asked her Aunt to put together a guest list for the invitations. The next day my friend's Mom called me  and flipped out saying "This is MY daughter... What the hell are you dong... You should have asked me first... I need to be included in everything...: so on and so on. I was hysterical crying. I really tried to do something out f the kindness of my heart and I get shot down and it hurts so bad. I don't even want to do it anymore. It feels tainted. I told her Mother that I shuldn't have over stepped my bounds, the couple isn't engaged yet, so let's not get ahead of ourselves, and lets put it on hold for now and talk about it again in a couple of months. (But I'll make sure I say I have no money in a couple of months). Am I rght or wrong? She wants to meet up and talk about this again this weekend! HELP!!!!
Posted by smapes[/QUOTE]

I suspect that this has more to do with the MOB's relationship with her own sister. I'm not sure why you went to the aunt for the guest list, but  the MOB over reacted.

You should wait until the couple is officially engaged, before you  start planning an engagement party. Your decision on whether or not to host an engagement party should be based on your relationship to the couple, rather than the way you feel about the MOB.