Pre-wedding Parties

What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?

What did he do? Did you have any worries about his friends/where they were going/etc? Did you go out the same night? Did you both agree on what is acceptable or did you have to hash it out, lol? Share anything! Just interested in other's couples experiences :)
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Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?

  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    DH had two, both at strip clubs.  I had one, at a strip club and then at a dance club.  They were all on different nights.

    I trust DH and he trusts me.  Nothing inappropriate occurred and we both came back with great stories.  We didn't put any limits on each other.  We both know what is acceptable in our relationship and what isn't so there was no reason to hash out what was allowed and what wasn't.  We already knew our limits and respected them because we respect our relationship.

    But, that is the kind of couple we are.  We don't care about things like strippers and boozing all night and aren't upset by the other participating in parties like that.  If it bothers you, you need to speak to him about it.
  • edited December 2011
    I'm not this past point yet, but my fiance and I have talked about it.  I started to feel really insecure about it and asked if he would consider doing it on the same night, keeping it separate until late when we could all meet up.  He vetoed.  Not b/c he's going to go to a strip club (I would call off the wedding, as extreme as that sounds, I consider that sort of activity adulterous) but b/c he wants a guy day.  He said what would be ideal for him is something like hiking or a reds game and then something like dave and busters or a pool party with him and his guy friends.  He doesn't really drink, so I'm not too worried, i was just worried about some of his friends who can get pretty crazy.  Hope that helps and that you know you're not alone!
  • edited December 2011

    We're having ours on the same night. We've talked about this before and he knows that I am very NOT ok with strip clubs or strippers. I'm also a little worried about what his friends will plan for him even though they know where I stand on that. However, I'm not worried about FI getting out of control and doing crazy things. I trust that he'll do the right thing no matter where he ends up.

  • AdeleDazeemAdeleDazeem member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I'm not sure what fiance will do for his bachelor party, but he's been to others as most of his friends have already gotten married.

    I have never once batted an eyelash over what they do, which seems to be mostly poker, gambling, and drinking more than strip clubs.  The only thing I ask is that he doesn't come home so drunk that he's up puking all night.  If that's what he wants to do, then I politely ask him to stay with his friends.
  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    My H and his friends went camping for the weekend at this place with cabins and paintball.  They did a ton of fishing and grilling.  On the same weekend, my BMs and Mom and MIL took me to The Melting Pot for dinner that Saturday night and then the next day, my BMs and close girlfriends took me to a local winery for wine tasting and a picnic out on the winery grounds. 
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  • edited December 2011
    FI and I are having it on the same night.  I'm staying in Boston and going out to dinner and out dancing with friends while he is going down to Moeghan Sun for the day/night. 

    WIth that said, I am NOT ok with strip clubs or stippers, as I agree with barretbe that that is on the line of cheating.  I wouldn't appreciate some other woman's boobs in my FI's face, and paying for it doesn't make it ok (makes it worse actually).  I trust FI 100%, but I do not trust some of his single friends who tend to just get plain obnoxious when they are drunk. 

    FI and FI's brother (and most of this friends) know where I stand on this issue, so if I hear that they got strippers I will be even more upset.  I know a lot of girls don't care, but I just find it disrepectful to me....his future wife!
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  • edited December 2011
    my DH is very laid back he would rather be at home hanging out then going out to a club or anything, so he had a very laid back bp,they took a limo to NYC and had dinner at a fancy steak place(my DH loves food LOL). he must have missed me bc he called me twice just to see what i was doing, i trust him so i wouldnt have minded anything that they did,if i wouldnt be able to trust him out with his friends i wouldnt have married him.
  • cjl5072cjl5072 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Because the majority of my bridesmaids & my fiance's groomsmen haven't met, we decided to have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party! We are renting out a lake house for the weekend and going boating, cooking out, getting to know each other and playing drinking games. I'm really looking forward to it & so is everyone in our bridal party! We will probably have a "girl's only" time where I'll open up lingerie and stuff like that, but we'll all be hanging out together the majority of the weekend.

    I can't wait!

    PS- Strip clubs were never an option for either of us.

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  • edited December 2011
    We aren't there yet either - but we've talked about it. We're just planning on going out after the Rehearsal dinner - maybe. I know we are having a wedding shower with the both of us. Then we're having separate "party nights." He says he does not want a strip club - and I love that. He finds them trashy. It'll probably end up being a poker night, movies, beer, and football. Those are the only options he likes. Considering either my brother or his cousin will be planning it - I know that the only thing I need to worry about is how hungover he'll be the next morning.
  • edited December 2011
    We're having it the same night.  He is going to Boston with 4 friends to a red sox game, barhopping, and staying overnight and I'm going to newport, RI to go out to dinner and and dancing with about 9-10 girlfriends.  

    He certainly isn't planning to go to any strip clubs, but knowing his best man, it's possible he'll get dragged to one, but I trust him, so I don't really care if he goes.  I don't feel any need to set limits, because he knows what is right and wrong.  
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_did-fiance-his-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:c89df546-eba8-4fd4-8d04-8301de56cb8bPost:ab315df2-dd0e-485f-bb0f-9e2d37415e40">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Because the majority of my bridesmaids & my fiance's groomsmen haven't met, we decided to have a joint bachelor/bachelorette party! We are renting out a lake house for the weekend and going boating, cooking out, getting to know each other and playing drinking games. I'm really looking forward to it & so is everyone in our bridal party! We will probably have a "girl's only" time where I'll open up lingerie and stuff like that, but we'll all be hanging out together the majority of the weekend. I can't wait! PS- Strip clubs were never an option for either of us.
    Posted by cjl5072[/QUOTE]

    What a fun idea!  Hardly anyone in our wedding party knows each other, either, but we can barely get everyone together for the rehearsal...

    I've heard that my fiance is going climbing--he, one of his brothers, and his two friends most likely avert their eyes when even driving by a strip club.  So no worries at all there.   I don't know what my gal friends are doing, but I hear it's chill, and was even discouraged from getting a new outfit for it! 
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  • edited December 2011

     Unfortunately the more handsome your FI is, the trashier the strippers will be. They hear "Groom" and start trouble. If your FI goes to a strip club I guarantee it will be out of control. And if he is cute those girls have no class and will go all out just for fun. Not to mention if his friends are throwing money around. Just not a good situation to be in. Herpes and chlamydia rudding up on your man. UGH. Sux that men have to disrespect their future wife with whores to have a good time. Seems like just an excuse to act single. Not good. Good thing my handsome FI is playing golf :D 

  • SuMmErKuTiESuMmErKuTiE member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    We're also having a joint party. MOH and FI's BM just reserved a party bus that'll take us to Mohegan Sun for the night and MOH is reserving a VIP table for the girls. We're friends with all the same people and a lot of them are engaged or married so it'll be a lot of fun. 
  • duckie1905duckie1905 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Hmmm, my husband didn't catch any STDs from strippers at his multiple bach parties.  Guess I should get tested because he is cute.  And obviously tits to eyballs is the easiest way to pass STDs.

    Please.  I'm all for not liking strippers and strip clubs but don't be ridiculous about it.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_did-fiance-his-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:c89df546-eba8-4fd4-8d04-8301de56cb8bPost:74648224-dca3-4a94-ae90-4d41bf2df11b">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
    [QUOTE] Unfortunately the more handsome your FI is, the trashier the strippers will be. They hear "Groom" and start trouble. If your FI goes to a strip club I guarantee it will be out of control. And if he is cute those girls have no class and will go all out just for fun. Not to mention if his friends are throwing money around. Just not a good situation to be in. Herpes and chlamydia rudding up on your man. UGH. Sux that men have to disrespect their future wife with whores to have a good time. Seems like just an excuse to act single. Not good. Good thing my handsome FI is playing golf :D 
    Posted by bttrfly82b[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>You can't get a SEXUALLY transmitted disease without, you know, SEX.  If your FI cheats on you with a stripper, he was going to cheat on you anyway.  It's not the stripper that's the problem.  It's the cheating FI.  

    </div><div>Why do I get the impression someone told you they got herpes from a strip club when you busted them cheating on you?  And you believed it...</div>
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_did-fiance-his-bachelor-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:32Discussion:c89df546-eba8-4fd4-8d04-8301de56cb8bPost:74648224-dca3-4a94-ae90-4d41bf2df11b">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
    [QUOTE] Unfortunately the more handsome your FI is, the trashier the strippers will be. They hear "Groom" and start trouble. If your FI goes to a strip club I guarantee it will be out of control. And if he is cute those girls have no class and will go all out just for fun. Not to mention if his friends are throwing money around. Just not a good situation to be in. Herpes and chlamydia rudding up on your man. UGH. Sux that men have to disrespect their future wife with whores to have a good time. Seems like just an excuse to act single. Not good. Good thing my handsome FI is playing golf :D 
    Posted by bttrfly82b[/QUOTE]

    <div>I call MUD. No one is this idiotic. No one. My 12 year old FBIL knows better.</div>
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  • edited December 2011
    Well we aren't there yet, but he is going to Vegas with his guys and I am going to Miami with my girlfriends. They aren't at the same time. We haven't talked about rules but we both know that there will be drinks, dancing and most likely strippers involved at some point. He's never been to Vegas, so I'm excited for him to just have a blast..which I will be doing in Miami. We haven't discussed limits yet, maybe we will as we get closer but I completely trust him so I'm not worried about him
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  • edited December 2011
    LOL. Well I was having a terrible day until I read some of these posts. Seriously -- catching STDs just from visiting a strip club??? If someone got an STD they were doing more than just looking or getting a lap dance! I'm not really all for the strip club scene either but I'm positive FIs group will take him there. And we have not talked about what we can and cannot do -- if you feel that you have to do that, I think you need to reconsider actually getting married. We are both grown adults and know what is right/wrong when it comes to this. I'm going to AC for the weekend with my girls -- beach, dinner, dancing, bars, gambling...lots of fun. No plans for FI yet but I'm sure it'll involve something similiar but with a strip club visit included. Seems that is what they have done at past bachelor parties he's attended.
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  • edited December 2011
    As a former stripper, thank you for the common-sense replies. 

    I wouldn't have physically touched a customer if they paid me a million dollars. It was verboten at my club, Pure Platinum in Waikiki, anyway. No touching, no bending over, etc. I was paying my college tuition, so I wouldn't have to go into exorbitant debt.  Also, I've never had so much as a cold sore, thankyouverymuch. 

    My guy likes video games, doesn't drink, is pretty mellow.  I think they'll just go to a pal's house and play rock band.
  • emmyboo77emmyboo77 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    My FH and I are having our parties on the same night. me and the girls are going to do something ( idk what it is yet cuz its a surprise!) and him and his boys are going bar hopping and later we are all meeting up at a strip club. I had some problems with that idea at first but i figured if we both go together it might be a little fun, and if any strippers go too far ill be there to end it.

  • edited December 2011
    I'm getting married in 2.5 months and DF and I have talked about it a bit.  All I said was "don't touch the strippers."  Anything that would be considered cheating if she wasn't earning her living by exotic dancing.  DF is hoping his groomsmen will all go in together to get him (us) a Wii for our wedding.  If that happens they will probably spend the night playing video games and I have nothing to worry about.  Personally, I'm going to a spa and then out to a Karaoke bar.  Possibly some pole dancing lessons, but then I would be copying my sister-in-law's bachelorette party to a T.
  • edited December 2011
    Our original plan was a joint party because neither one of us really wanted a crazy, drunken, ballzout party at a club with a bunch of people half our ages.  Plus he's been married before and already had one at a strip club and didn't care to do it again.  Plans changed; I had a Pure Romance party last Saturday at MOH's house and he went out with a buddy for dinner and a few bars to throw darts.  His nephews (best man and a groomsman) decided to throw a cookout at the best man's house tonight for just the guys in honor of his "bachelor party."  I'm fine with it - it's mostly family and a few of the best man's friends.  I wouldn't put it past his perverted brother in laws to get him a stripper even though he made it perfectly clear to everyone that he does NOT want one.  I won't be mad if they do; I just don't want him coming home falling down drunk to where he's crashing into all my breakable curio cabinets and because it's our night to have his daughter & she's staying w/ me tonight, if he's throwing up all night it might scare her.
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  • edited December 2011
    My FI have not been able to agree on this subject.  I am TOTALLY against any strippers/strip club.  In my eyes it falls in the same category as adultery.  However, my FI absolutely does not agree with me.  He is a hard core biker and they have their own set of rules.  I do trust him but its those who he surrounds himself with that are VERY juvenile and most can not control themselves let alone remember their actions when they are drunk.  I realize I am marrying him and not them but sometimes stuff happens just being in that kind of enviroment.  He knows exactly how I feel and that I will not be happy but he'll go anyways.  I have no plans for myself yet.  I'm sure it'll be dinner and a bar with my friends.  I wish he would do the same.
  • edited December 2011
    He had all his friends come to the house at noon and they spent the day playing xbox, poker, and recording a podcast (something he does weekly anyway)  then they all went to dinner at a bar/grill around 7pm, then to the regular small bar hangout he always goes to.  We had strip club issues early on in the relationship, and despite whatever the rules are at other clubs, around here they DO touch you.  In my opinion, if what they are doing to him wouldn't be considered okay in any place other than a strip club, then it's not okay period. I know some people are okay with it, and that's great, but I'm not and he respects that and has made it clear that he won't go back to one - not because I won't allow it, but because he knows it hurts me.  It has never been and never wil be a trust issue with him, but he can act disinterested (which strangely, seems to only make them try harder) and hypothetically, he could close his eyes and sit on his hands, but it doesn't change the fact that their bare breasts and lips are physically touching his face and, yes -  here they do grab ahold of the man's crotch through his pants. Not okay with me.  :(  If they had a no-touch rule around here, it wouldn't be so much of an issue for me.  I guess my feeling on the whole issue (this after seeing tshirts with So&So's Last Night Single printed on them for a bachelorette party) is that you are NOT single.  Whether you are married yet or not, the commitment has already been made.  So, he had a great time and as much as this post may make me sound like a drag, I'm really not.  I don't make any rules or demands, and I love all his friends and we all get along great. 
    If strippers or anything else, for that matter, don't bother you, then great!  BUT if something makes you uncomfortable or unhappy, it IS an issue and he shouldn't allow it to happen while you sit back and feel bad.  Who wants that kind of relationship?
  • edited December 2011
    That sounds just like me and my fiance! We don't get married until December, so we haven't really talked about it. But neither of us want to do the whole stripper/dance thing. He wanted to go to a Braves baseball game & then to Dave and Buster's with his guy friends. I on the other hand, would much rather go shopping for lingerie and get my nails done!
    If you think your fiance wants to be all "crazy" before the wedding & you are uncomfortable with it, I would sit down and talk to him about it. Personally, I think it is not a good idea to do the stripper thing before you get married  because you are still in a relationship & if it has been unacceptable throughout your relationship then it still should be.  Everyone's relationship is different and you have to learn to compromise and set "limits" that work for you as a couple :)
    Amanda :)
  • edited December 2011
    My Fiance just had his this past weekend. His best friend is getting married a month before us, sop they did a dual party. They left Friday and came back MOnday. While they were gone, they did go out on the town, got sick, went fishing, got sick again, and then came home. It was great for them, since a group went, it gave all the guys, mos tof which were in a relationship, a chance t hang out and have a guys weekend, but it also gave me tons of time to do wedding stuff, and I didn't have to worry about things being all over the entire house. My friends came and spent the weekend with me and helped, and I'm MUCH less stresed now than I was before they went. THey had agreat time, and I had an uber productive weekend. THe important thing is that they do what they have fun with, just with their friends, and not just always at a couple. Hope this helps!
  • auzeybreezyauzeybreezy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We're starting with a joint party at a friend's house. I don't know exactly what the plan is, but I believe there will be some drinking games. Later, the guys will go do their thing, which will probably be bowling or playing pool. My best friend (who is a guy) is throwing the party, so I never had to worry about anything inappropriate happening, but my sweetheart had no interest in strippers or strip clubs to begin with.

    The stripper thing wound of being more of a discussion for my end of the party because my MOH really wanted to hire me one. I've made it clear that I have no interest in seeing some other guys's junk so that idea has been nixed. We'll probably be heading out for drinking and dancing when we do our thing.
  • edited December 2011
    My fiance and I have discussed this issue as well since our bach parties will be coming up. I agree with alot of the girls on  here that I find strip clubs and strippers disrespectful to myself. I will not be going to one and I wish that he would not be going to one. Yet, his best man (brother) wants to take him to Vegas and get strippers even though he knows that I do not agree with this. I do trust my fiance and he knows what I like and don't, but do not trust all his friends (or family) who will be involved in this event. So I'm kind of in a sticky situation myself. Any suggestions?
  • edited December 2011


    I could care less if they go to a strip club.  When  I was younger this bothered me but as life goes on you learn how to put things into perspective.

    He isn't interested in doing so (says he feels bad for the girsl, after all that is someone's daughter!!!) but I do know there are a few guys in the group that would love to go.  So I wouldn't be suprised.  When FI goes to other friend's bachelor parties he says he always ends up being "the Dad" making sure no one gets into trouble, and takes care of the guys that get too drunk.  Of coarse, he is typically the oldest guy there (late 40's) so its natural for him to fall into that role.

    I have to laugh at some of the comments about "I trust my guy but not his friends...."  Serisouly?  So if you trust your guy what do you care what the other guys are doing?  Sounds like some hidden insecurities there.....

    Looking at a naked woman is not cheating.  I would not put limits on my FI as I trust him 100% - he is the most faithful man I have ever known.

    He can look at naked women at a strip bar if he wants to.  Its just the same as seeing a naked woman on TV.  Whatever.  And if you have been to a strip club you realize that its really not even all that sexual.  I fidn it more pathetic because I can't get past the fact that these are real women.

    Come on!  Be honest with yourself ladies!

    These women are just regular women like you and I - and they all have their own stories and their own reasons for stripping.

    They are not whores.  They don't all have STD's.  Don't be so judgementall and don't think for a mintue its acceptable to control any other human being.

    Grow up and don't justt SAY you trust your FI.  REALLY trust him.  It's the foundation of your relationship and ultimately your marriage.

    Just my 2 cents.

  • Cupcakes4Cupcakes4 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    First of all, great answers everyone :) Very entertaining! I think my main point will be, if you cant trust him at all times doing ANYTHING, whether it be at a stip club (lets face it, its a strange guy ritual that I am sure no girl will really ever understand, but if thats what they want as their last hurah, why not?!) or camping, skydiving, or even just a guys night on the town - YOU SHOULDNT BE MARRYING HIM! If you cant trust someone, you just shouldnt marry them. Period. If guys are going o cheat, they will find a way to do it... the girl at the bar, the hot sky diving instructor, the pool girl camping... Just because they go to a stip club doesnt make it any more or less likely they will cheat on you... that depends on the strength of your relationship... SO have fun no matter what you do and realize that its a time for him to have guy time and YOU to have GIRL TIME - we of course always love this! Have FUN with it and dont be a nervous wreck instead!!! :) We have not had ours yet, bu no matter what he decides to do, Im ok with it... we have been together 7 years, and to be honest, if he decides to cheat now... he knows the consequences! ( I actually think hes going skydiving which scares me more than the stip club!) I think im planning a spa day :) Whatever you all choose have fun!!!!! :) and no worries!!!!
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