Pre-wedding Parties

What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?


Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?

  • edited December 2011
    Hi there,

    I just wanted to make a quick comment bc this is weighing on my mind.  We are still 7 mos from our wedding, but knowing my fiance and our friends itll prolly be a crazy night.

    Im not concerned with where he goes (to strip club or not to strip club), my main concern is that the ppl he is with take care of him. I know they will feed him shots and i feel powerless to make sure hes being "properly cared for".  Not that he needs a babysitter, but i guess kind of.... Anyways, i dont know if anyone else can relate and help me out with some suggestions to give his boys to keep an eye out for my man and bring him home in one piece.
    Love knows no limit to its endurance, no end to its trust. Love still stands when all else has fallen. Corinthians 13:7-8 Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href=" Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:c89df546-eba8-4fd4-8d04-8301de56cb8bPost:ec61179d-ec78-4d63-8ca7-986a77e887fb">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi there, I just wanted to make a quick comment bc this is weighing on my mind.  We are still 7 mos from our wedding, but knowing my fiance and our friends itll prolly be a crazy night. Im not concerned with where he goes (to strip club or not to strip club), my main concern is that the ppl he is with take care of him. I know they will feed him shots and i feel powerless to make sure hes being "properly cared for".  Not that he needs a babysitter, but i guess kind of.... Anyways, i dont know if anyone else can relate and help me out with some suggestions to give his boys to keep an eye out for my man and bring him home in one piece.
    Posted by bsharp3[/QUOTE]

    I totally hear ya.  Just make sure wheover does the planning, they have a ride for the night, a limo or something.

    He will be OK!  He's a big boy!  His head might be pounding the next day but he will recover!  LOL!
  • edited December 2011
    I have no idea what his bachelor party will be like, for sure, but I assume it will involve the local strip clubs.  I've got no problem with that, and have really never understood women who do have issues with that.

    My only rules for him, are that none of them are allowed to die, Keith is not allowed to break another one of his front teeth by falling onto the corner of a table while drunk, and they are not allowed to go to running around Vegas looking for strippers and cocaine (or roofies).  LOL 

    I trust him, I trust his friends, etc. 
  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    The one thing I hate about bachelor parties is that they always call it the guys last night.  It really isn't since its never really the night before the wedding, and you are already committed to marry someone, so you shouldn't be doing anything that night that you know would be wrong when you are married.   I told FI that he could not go to Vegas, and that he was not allowed to touch any strippers.  Telling him he couldn't have them would be pointless because around here thats what all the stags are.  His party is at local VFW where they rent out the hall and have food and kegs and raffles and stuff, and yes strippers.  But the strippers come for an hour and have their own bodyguards that keep anyone from touching them.  And from what my guy friends have told me, the strippers really only spend a few minutes on the groom because they know that they won't make any money off him.  Also, the stag parties here are really about making money for the wedding, and everyone is charged, so tons of guys go to them and pay to get in for beer and food.  So needless to say, my family will be there (including my dad), so I just remind him of that if he feels the need to do something stupid!  And FI can drink, and his friends do a great job of encouraging it, so while the plan is to go out to bars after that, theres a big part of me that thinks he will be passed out before his party ends and in the back of my dads jeep! 
    My bachelorette is the same night (strategically planned-I don't want to be sitting at home thinking about whats going on at his).   We rented rooms at a really nice mansion hotel downtown, and are going to a nice dinner and the bars around there with my BMs and other friends and family.  I don't want strippers, cause I really think guy strippers are just awkward.  But I plan on just getting drunk and enjoying my night with my girls. 
    Oh and we are also doing the full day with our parties.  I'm doing a pool day with my girls before the hotel and stuff, and he is either boating/fishing or playing golf with the guys before. 

    imageBabyFruit Ticker
  • edited December 2011
    I think if you're worried about the Bachelor Party you probably shouldn't be getting married.  Trust is the foundation of a happy, healthy relationship.  That should be well established and solid as a rock by the time you're talking about this!
  • edited December 2011
    My FI and I are both in a bit of a pickle. I did insist that our parties were on the same days so we wouldn't be sitting at home alone wondering about the other. My MOH is having us do the dinner/limo/dancing thing. He has tons of people wanting to go to his and the BM got a 45 person party bus. I don't usually disagree with strip clubs because I completely trust him (and know that he doesn't dish out money for lap dances or anything), but since it is his bachelor party, I know all the guys will be forcing lap dance after lap dance on him, which I DO strongly disagree with. I have expressed this to FI and he agrees, adding that he's a bit "scared" of strippers anyway, lol, and has told BM that he doesn't really want to go to strip clubs, to which BM said, "ok, that's fine." Our fear though, is that my FI will have no choice when 45 innebriated guys are chanting "strip club!" on the bus, just like they will be shoving shots down his throat and forcing him to get lap dances! Any advice for the both of us? Do we need to just tough it out?
  • beamer84beamer84 member
    edited December 2011
    We're getting married in June and neither of us have had our bp yet. We haven't talked much about what each party will involve, but I know he'll end up at a strip club. I trust him completely, which is one of the reasons I'm marrying him. If you don't trust him enough to behave at his bp, you may want to think about whether you still want to marry him.

    And lol to all the stories of lap dances and looking at tits giving a guy STDs. Smile
  • edited December 2011
    We had our parties on the same weekend. We live in Vienna, Austria and the boys went to Prague and the girls went to Bratislava. We both went to strip clubs and I dont really understand how this is disrespectful.  I think naked women are beautiful and strip clubs can be really fun places.  there is a huge difference between a strip club and visiting a brothel or a prostitute. Its looking and no touching, what could be wrong with that?  I completely trust my man and I had no problem letting him do whatever he wanted. The boys mostly just wanted to get drunk anyway, while the girls were dancing and probably flirting with more guys than the boys were with girls!  Overall it was really fun and I am glad that we both could have a kind of crazy night out without having to worry or stress about the other one. Plus, I got a text in the middle of it saying how much sexier and prettier i am than the strippers, which i thought was very sweet and kinda funny!

  • edited December 2011
    Ok, I am against strip clubs in general.  It has nothing to do with a trust issue.  And it really does anger me that some of you will say (oh come on, stop lying.)  It's not.  I was raised as a strict Catholic and a place that is based around sexual desire and getting arosed is considered morally wrong, in my books.  (Please don't harrass me for my religious beliefs).  I know this can be hard for some people to understand because you have different morals and beliefs which is completely ok with me!  My FI doesn't have the same beliefs as me but he's shown my beliefs respect.  My problem is his friends do not show respect.  I'm not saying this will be an issue at his bach, cause it's HIS party not theirs so he's the one in charge, but it's because of thier lack of respect that I can't help be feel a tad nervious in knowing that his friends don't respect me.  But that kind of nerviousiness, I can't do anything about.  What's important is that my FI does respect me and I just have to focus on that so the nerves go away. 
  • edited December 2011
    We haven't completely planned out our parties but my fiance isn't into the stripper thing.  Don't get me wrong, he has been before but he said he just doesn't get into that.  I want to plan the parties on the same night just so neither one of us is sitting at home wondering what the other person is doing.  The guys have talked about going flounder gigging which normally lasts all night long.  I think they will have a blast!  Us girls plan on possibly going to a theme park and then doing some barhopping towards the end of the night.  We will see what happens when the time comes.  All in all, my fiance and I already understand what is and is not acceptable so there are NO WORRIES.  I think the best thing to do is to know the basics of what each other are going to be doing but after that just have a good time.  You shouldn't have to tell each other every detail, the trust should be established already.
  • edited December 2011
    HAHAHAHAHA oh the bachelor party.... well what started out as him saying "I don't want one I want us to have ours togehter with all our friends" ended up with me planning huge party for us & 75 of our friends at our friends bar, then his brother & best man INSISTED on throwing him a bachelor party because it's TRADITION!!!  So I told my FH that since he's having a bachelor party I'll just cancel ours and he's like "no I still want us to have our party with our friends!"  SOOOOOOOOOOOO not only had I planned our joint party but it's also his SURPRISE 40th!!!  He thinks we are having our party on the 17th, so on the 10th we are going in a limo with our friends who recently got engaged and he thinks we are going out for their engagement party.  So we are going to make a pit stop at a bar on the way to where he thinks we are going and there is going to be about 75 of our friends and 3 drag queens I hired to perform!!!  He's turning 40 & getting married all with 7 days so I had to do it big for him LOL  And as far as our party he just thinks we are meeting a bunch of our friends at a club or something.  So when we get to the bar that's totally decorated for his bday & our marriage, it's gonna be the best birthday he ever had!!!

    BUT his bachelor party that his brother is having is tomorrow night the 3rd.  They are supposed to go to dinner & possibly Hard Rock & possibly stop by a stip club!  Do I mind?  NO!  I don't mind going to them, but even when we're out he's not one of those guys that's like let's go to a strip club.  And if he goes when they are out on the motorcycles they go in have a few drinks and ride out LOL  It is what it is!!!!  I know even if he did or does go, I don't have to worry about him getting lap dances or anything like that, he HATES that!  But my matron of honor's hubby is going and she FLIPS out if she hears he went to a strip club, so should be interesting LOL

    Our wedding is in 22 days, I am so excited :-)

    Good luck to you all

    Oh yeah almost forgot... as far as me having my own bachelorette party since he's having one... I'm not!  I'm just having a girly night one night with 3 other girlfriends we are going to dinner and to see Menopause the Musical :-)

  • edited December 2011
    Me and my FI are doing something pretty different for our BP parties.

    We are doing a combined party. I guess you can sort of call it an engagement party on steriods :) We're doing it a week before the wedding. We're going to rent out a local paintball course (he's military and I like to think I'm B.A  so it's TOTALLY on. hahaha) and then after that we're going hit our favorite country bar/club.

    It came down to we have really similar interests and a lot of the same friends. We decided it would be a lot more fun to do something together. We're not afraid of getting a little wild, and doing it together makes it "harmless" and we don't need to worry.

    He's past the whole "strip club thing". He knew I wasn't comfortable with him going to a strip club, and because of that HE chose not to go. That's one of the reasons why I'm marrying him :) When I brought up the combined party idea he really liked it. His brother wasn't so sure, but after he heard the idea he was on board.

    I think a combined party is a great way to go as long as it's agreed on. If he really wants a night away with the guys, then you should let him have it. Everyone deserves their own space. Like somebody else said on here, if you're that convinced that he can't be faithful, then why are you marrying him at all??  But everyone's nerves are frazzled enough right before a wedding and in my mind, the last thing you need to be worried about, or worse.... arguing about.... should be what happened at the bachelor party. :)
  • edited December 2011

    I am going to Vegas for my bachelorette party, and he's going for his bachelor party 2 weeks later.
    Not concerned about his itinerary for his guy weekend, as he's gone to Vegas multiple times with his friends and everything was fine. No STD's from the strip clubs they visited (hehehe. that post before was pretty funny about that. if you could catch something from rubbing on boobs, we'd all be in trouble!)
    The only thing I ask is no prostitutes, and that he come back alive!
    He's got a good group of guys in his life, so I'm sure he'll have a great time. Strip clubs and all.  I know I'm going to have a blast!
    I hope every has a great time at theres!

  • edited December 2011
     My fiance and I are going out on the same night but that was just so that one of us isn't bored all night. I never worry about him because I trust him and I know he doesn't tend to get totally smashed, what I do worry about is his friends, they are the kind of people who would tell him to get smashed a screw around because he won't be "free" anymore after that. 

      Instead of gettung upset, I voiced my fears to him (he agreed that one of his friends would do that) and he suggested that instead of having our MOH/BM plan it, we would pick the person going to the other's party that we trust most to plan it (I guess he was having the same worries about my friends).

    When explaining why we did this we just told everyone that he and I hadn't been "free" since the moment we started dating, so why change things when we were going to get married?
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]And lol to all the stories of lap dances and looking at tits giving a guy STDs.
    Posted by beamer84[/QUOTE]
    Hehe, I was just going to write that! These girls aren't whores. Don't hate because you're insecure! I can understand not LIKING the idea of stip clubs, but c'mon ladies, get over it. If your man's going to cheat, he won't with a stipper that's for sure! And the more you tell his friends what NOT to do, the more they will do it. The best thing is to not say anything at all, have a good time at yours and let him have a good time at his. No questions asked.
  • edited December 2011
    My fiance left yesterday for his bachelor party (weekend) in Las Vegas.  One of his friends couldn't go because his girlfriend threw a hissy about everything from show/caberett girls to prostitutes being there.  My veiw is if you can't trust them don't be with them.  Me I told him he could look but not touch, his only question for me was, "Can I egg on my single friends?" my responce... "Of course!" 
    I know that the Bestman has tickets for several shows, reservations at several clubs and the some "unannounced" plans.
    Me, I had a bridal shower.  My co-workers (90% male) were horrified that I wasn't also having a bachelorette party.  If my Maids want to take me out after the rehersal dinner fine, but other wise sleep sounds like a good plan.

    P.S. 28 days and counting
  • edited December 2011
    My fiance will be doing something fun like paintball for his party...  We both don't like strip clubs, because they encourage emotional and mental infidelity, and both the men and the women are disrespecting themselves.  I'm not going to tell anyone they're wrong for thinking strip clubs are okay, but it does surprise me how many do!  Don't women want to be the only naked woman their man wants to look at?  Don't you want to be excusively the desire of your man?  Maybe society has infiltrated everything with rampant and casual sexuality, but I believe that our sexuality is something beautiful to be shared only intimately between husband and wife.  Through it , the husband and wife give completely of themselves to the other, and that is the whole purpose of our sexual longing---love!  Strip clubs have nothing to do with love, and therefore distort sexuality into nothing but sensual pleasure.  Personally, my fiance and I want our sexual love to be all that it can be--not just one self-centered aspect shared with complete strangers.  And we both feel completely loved and trusted by the other!Smile
  • edited December 2011
    My Fiance is supposed to go to several places. Strip clubs, bars, and where ever else the boys plan on taking him.  I trust his friends, we are all very close. They all know their limits. I must attest that there is much trust in our relationship, so he does as he will with knowing his limits. It's nice to know that someone truly respects me and I truly respect him.  So, I am not worried about his party because I hope he has a blast!!!! It's probably gonna be his last time !!! Just kidding!! :)
  • edited December 2011
    Oh and ladies, don't be hypocrites, like we never went to a male strip club or had male strippers at bachelorette parties...heehaw! Looking forward to it!
  • edited December 2011

    Strip clubs!  Is that all there is?  You can do better than that!

  • edited December 2011
    FI recently went to one of his friend's bachelor parties.  I honestly didn't give a hoot till one of the other girlfriends mentioned that they had had some cougars over.  I know nothing happened, but I really wish he had just been honest about it when he was telling me the other stories.  He has opted for a boys weekend at the river, so hopefully that will be women free.  I really couldn't care less if there are strippers, I just don't want secrets.

    On the other hand, me and the girls are going to Vegas, and I can't wait!
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
    [QUOTE] Unfortunately the more handsome your FI is, the trashier the strippers will be. They hear "Groom" and start trouble. If your FI goes to a strip club I guarantee it will be out of control. And if he is cute those girls have no class and will go all out just for fun. Not to mention if his friends are throwing money around. Just not a good situation to be in. Herpes and chlamydia rudding up on your man. UGH. Sux that men have to disrespect their future wife with whores to have a good time. Seems like just an excuse to act single. Not good. Good thing my handsome FI is playing golf :D 
    Posted by bttrfly82b[/QUOTE]

    Ok first of all I  agree with the previous comments on this one... there's NO WAY your man is going to get an STD from a stripper dancing on them... We live in an Army town, so there are strip clubs by the dozen on the main Blvd to base. And I can say from personal experiences that strip clubs aren't what many of you girls are imagining, it's nothing like in the movies and there definitely aren't "knock out babes" dancing around naked- half the girls are actually not that great looking. And at the ones my FI and I have been to together the strippers only took their tops off (which your FI definitely CANNOT get an STD from, I mean that that was what they taught us in Sex Ed anyway lol)  and there is a no touching the strippers rule at every club, so unless you've got a man that is sleezy enough to take one home then he should come home STD free:)  Oh and the whole "if he's good looking thing" doesn't really apply at these clubs hun, some of my FI's friends are about a 4.5 on a scale of 10 and they had more strippers coming their way than my FI and I did...  it's just whoever happens to be handing out the most $$
    We're all going to start the night out separately and then meet up later on at the strip club (the groomsmen's idea, but my BMs are up for it lol) I guess it's just a matter of being comfortable/secure enough with yourself to go to one and actually trusting your FI (not just saying you trust him) not to do something he shouldn't at his bachelor party. For those of you that think you might be comfortable enough to go with them- not necessarily for his bachelor party but just going one wknd- I encourage you to check it out. They really aren't nearly as bad as many of you think.( If you actually talk to them a lot of the girls are just there to make some cash to pay for school)
  • DBrodeurDBrodeur member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Our wedding is in July so we haven't had our parties yet. The only thing I have told him I am not comfortable with is a private stripper at a house. I don't care if he goes to strip clubs. My reasoning is this: a couple of years ago, a friend of my FI had a bachelor weekend with 2 private strippers. And I heard about some of the things that went on there (not your typical stripping!). I trust my FI completely, but I know that with a bunch of his guy friends who are wasted and paying these girls to do things, I'd rather he not even be in that sitaution. I guess if he had never told me the stories, I wouldn't have been the wiser, and wouldn't have cared. But he's even told me that if the roles were reversed, and he knew those kinds of things were going on, he wouldn't want me there either. I think it really comes down to doing what you are both comfortable with. People are entitled to their own beliefs. Otherwise, is it really worth the fight that might happen afterwards?
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="">Re: What did your fiance do for his Bachelor party?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I could care less if they go to a strip club.  When  I was younger this bothered me but as life goes on you learn how to put things into perspective. He isn't interested in doing so (says he feels bad for the girsl, after all that is someone's daughter!!!) but I do know there are a few guys in the group that would love to go.  So I wouldn't be suprised.  When FI goes to other friend's bachelor parties he says he always ends up being "the Dad" making sure no one gets into trouble, and takes care of the guys that get too drunk.  Of coarse, he is typically the oldest guy there (late 40's) so its natural for him to fall into that role. I have to laugh at some of the comments about "I trust my guy but not his friends...."  Serisouly?  So if you trust your guy what do you care what the other guys are doing?  Sounds like some hidden insecurities there..... Looking at a naked woman is not cheating.  I would not put limits on my FI as I trust him 100% - he is the most faithful man I have ever known. He can look at naked women at a strip bar if he wants to.  Its just the same as seeing a naked woman on TV.  Whatever.  And if you have been to a strip club you realize that its really not even all that sexual.  I fidn it more pathetic because I can't get past the fact that these are real women. Come on!  Be honest with yourself ladies! These women are just regular women like you and I - and they all have their own stories and their own reasons for stripping. They are not whores.  They don't all have STD's.  Don't be so judgementall and don't think for a mintue its acceptable to control any other human being. Grow up and don't justt SAY you trust your FI.  REALLY trust him.  It's the foundation of your relationship and ultimately your marriage. Just my 2 cents.
    Posted by SparklyRing[/QUOTE]
    I agree with SparklyRing 100% on this one. This is what I was trying to get across. You definitely got straight to the point girl :)
  • edited December 2011
    My fiance & I are having separate bachelor/bachlorette weekends. Niether one of us know what our friends are planning for us but we know for sure none of it will include activites like going to strip clubs or anything like that. Every person we chose to have in our wedding has the same way of thinking when it comes to stuff like that, and not one of us has any interest in even being near a place devoted to immoral practices. . .It's just not something we agree with so no worries here! Just entire weekends full of good clean fun!!! :)
  • edited December 2011
    To all of the ladies who are utterly paranoid about strip clubs, my suggestion to you is to go to one.  So that you can understand how they actually work and let go of your irrational fears involving such places.  Your significant other runs a higher risk of cheating on you at the office than on a night out with the boys in clubs where you'll get kicked out with a broken hand if you get caught grabbing one of the dancers.  Also, for the record, if you're paranoid about him going to a strip club, I don't think you should be getting married.  That speaks to me of serious trust issues which really should be resolved before marriage.

    Back to the original question, we haven't had our respective parties yet but I believe his tentative plan is to attend a music festival in California with a bunch of his friends.  I think I'm looking at a weekend in Vegas myself.  My party will involve more strip clubs than his, ironically enough, and also more drinking and dancing and other traditional "last free night" activities.  Because our female friends are more into the party scene than any of our male friends have ever been.

    We'll discuss the specifics as we get closer (such as actual dates and how long everyone will be gone, etc), but at no point will there be a discussion of what's "allowed" because he's an adult and so am I.  We've been in this relationship for a while now, I don't need to tie his shoes and tell him what he's allowed to do just because he's leaving the house without me.
  • edited December 2011
    AMEN to this!!!! It is the TRUTH. Believe me, I (unfortunately) used to work in that field. I KNOW. It is exactly as you described. The men will go in...the Groomsmen will mention he is getting married and BAM, they are all over him like nothing you've ever seen before. And the groomsmen will keep paying more and more money. Out of control is exactly where it will end up. My Fiance is going to go play golf as well. I believe if he is marrying me then he has no business lusting over some other womans body, and I am DEFINITELY not ok with another girl rubbing her boobs or crotch all over him. SO NO ON STRIP CLUBS!!! Laughing
  • libraleolibraleo member
    edited December 2011
    My fiance is planning to go camping and then party in the woods.  In truth, it makes me more nervous than if he were to go to a strip club.  I even suggested that he do a pub crawl and he was unimpressed.  He's set on the party in the woods so I just have to release responsibility.  I'm not a big partier and he is more of one(not by much) so whatever.  He's going to do what he wants regardless.
  • SteelWeddingSteelWedding member
    edited December 2011
    Such intensity in some of these posts! Personally, this should not be about whether or not strip clubs are right, wrong, moral, or immoral. Relationships are about love, honesty, communication, and yes, trust. Letting your significant other do whatever they please does not necessarily denote a healthy relationship. You are partners. You should be able to decide as a couple what is right for both of you. That could mean a strip club, no strip club, a night out together, or a weekend in vegas. The point is, that regardless of whether you're insecure or more wild than your future husband, everyone has the right to take their own stance. And hopefully, if you are marrying the guy, you can tell him how you feel and he will respect that decision whatever it may be. . . 
    BabyFruit Ticker image
  • edited December 2011
    My fiance & I agreed to do 2. One as a double party (bachelor/bachelorette), then on another day to do our separate parties. My girls wanna take me out to a spa, dinner & a club, he's gonna go play golf in the afternoon then a club at night. We both know our limits and would never do anything to hurt one another. Just have trust &*faith in each other, that's what love & marriage is about...TRUST!!! Laughing Don't rack your brain around "I wonder what hes doing?" You'll be fine girl....
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards