So, my sister is my MOH, and my best friend is one of my bridesmaids in my upcoming wedding. They are in the process of planning my bridal shower, which they have said that I get absolutely no say in the planning process..and they didn't ask if I have any preferences at all. That would be fine and well if all of my bridesmaids were cooperating with one another. My MOH won't listen to any of the ideas that one of the others BM suggests..so the BM came to me and expressed some concern. It's very frustrating to me, because I'm not supposed to have a say, or know anything about the shower, so I can't approach my sister without giving the other girl away. I just don't know how to go about the situation..I don't want to let it go because this will end up reflecting on me if things don't go well. Help?
Re: No Say?
I'm all about the bride and/or groom not throwing parties for themselves. But I know my DD enough to know that she hates surprises~hence, no surprise shower for my bride-to-be.
She also shared her perfect b-party thoughts with her younger sister who was her MOH. When DD's FSIL tried to completely change and do what SHE'D like for a b-party, DD's wonderful sister/MOH said: "Look, I know my sister better than anyone except my mom. I know what she'd like, and I know what would make her very, very uncomfortable."
I think if something that makes you uncomfortable is being planned, it's okay for you to have input. I think if it's what color the napkins will be, that's a whole 'nother story.
Anyway, if you don't have strong feelings one way or the other, tell the BM that this is between the MOH and rest of the party and then step out of it.
GL
I think it all depends on what the issues are. If it's over the guest list or something - that is probably serious. If it's over the location and time of day, that's probably important to be included in on, as well.
I was not allowed to have a say in either of our bridal showers...in fact I did not even know the time of one of them! It was a little frustrating, but who ever is involved in the planning should be able to work it out amongst themselves (or not) without involving you if it is a minor disagreement. It can be one of those things you SHOULD not have to worry about!
I'm all about honesty, though. I would tell the MOH what the BM's gripe was...in a somewhat sugar coated way, of course.
Anyways, those are just my thoughts!!