Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth

We can't finish paying for our wedding

My fiance' and I got engaged last year. We were originally scheduled to be married this past January, but with him losing his job, that wasn't financially possible. We've rescheduled the wedding for June  of this year. He has been getting unemployment, we were able to secure our venue and pay a few things. Well, his unemployment ran out last week, and he still doesn't have a job. We still have not paid for our catering, photographer, invites, the rest of the venue, or the rest for our DJ. I have a feeling that with just my income and only two months until the day, that we will be majorly short and have to postpone again. What should I do? I find it frustrating that I may have to put off yet another wedding. If we postpone again, we will lose all of our deposits. I am not confident that in the Dallas, TX economy that he will find a job by then. What should I do? We need at least $4000 to pay off the remaining things that I mentioned, and I don't see that happening with me having to pay all the bills. I'm  at the point where I just want to say forget it and move on. Any suggestions? Anyone out there in the DFW area willing to donate their services? I'm sorry if I'm rambling, but I really just needed to vent, and see if anyone can help us.

Signed,

A distressed bride

Re: We can't finish paying for our wedding

  • edited December 2011
    Sorry, but we are all trying to pay for our weddings here, and this isn't a place that vendors frequent so your request for help is pretty lost on the gals here.

    Can you scale back what you have booked at all (especially in terms of catering)?
    ~DFWs Resident Snark~
    I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?
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  • edited December 2011
    Have you checked with the vendors you've given money to, and asked if they will give any amount of it back? Only one of my vendors had a nonrefundable deposit, but I know this isn't always the case.

    I understand it would be hard to just walk away from a deposit, but you can still get married, so you don't have to consider it a waste even if you can't use the venue you put the deposit down on.

    Talk with your FI and decide what's really important about your wedding. For my FI, it would be to get married in our church -- we'd just move to the small chapel, invite only our immediate family, and take them out to dinner afterward. If the location isn't as important, you can go to a JoP or hire an officiant to marry you in a public park with your family there, maybe? Just brainstorm what else you could do that would still be meaningful and special to both of you.

    I know this is easier said that done, though, and I feel for ya. I wish you the best of luck, whatever you decide to do!
  • juliebug1997juliebug1997 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    This may sound harsh but you may just have to cut your losses.  Like PPs said, call your vendors and see if you can get any money back or even if they're willing to work with you. 

    You don't need caterers, photographers, etc, to go get married.  People every day go to the JP and get married.  It depends on what's really important here.  And, in all honesty, I would have either gone to the JP months ago or we would not have started planning a wedding until he had another job again.  Priorities.  You need them.
  • btweety04btweety04 member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    You should have the wedding you can afford. If situations change you either have to change the plans or postpone them. I can completely relate to the situation because we had to push our wedding back a year due to FI's unemployment after school. Once he found a job, we started planning again. There was no way I was gonna carry debt and a wedding by myself. Trust me, it will be less stressful if you don't have to worry where the money is coming from.
  • MissAngelMissAngel member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ditto what pp said. You mentioned you haven't paid for invites? I saw them in clearance at Walmart for 100 invites it was $6. You can still get married, but you can cut back on things. Maybe a smaller guestlist? Also, if you tell you'd vendors the situation, they might understand and give you a full refund or work with you. Other girls have done an iPod for music and it will save you a ton, even if you had to lose the deposit. Just re-prioritize and it will work.
  • edited December 2011
    My wife and I did a "pot luck wedding".  We basically asked our friends if someone would host our location and then everyone bring a dish.  All we had to pay for was our outfits, cake, and champagen.  Sure it's not a dream wedding, but it was beautiful and memorable none the less.

  • edited December 2011

    I agree w/what everyone else is saying. You don't have to postpone again but you probably need to  scale back on your expenses and think about what you really need. There are plenty of ideas on the Budget Board and I know that you can really cut your costs.

    Have you thought of maybe just having a friend or family member go and pick up the food? (it is much less expensive when you don't have caterer's delivering and serving the food- guests can serve themselves buffet style!)

    Also, is a DJ and venue with a dance floor really that important? Maybe just have an hour or so of dancing afterward for your first dance, etc... but in reality I've noticed that only about 25-50% of people really stay to dance all night so is it worth it to spend a fortune on a DJ and venue with a dance floor?

  • teedoveteedove member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Like everyone is saying, just cut your cost and rearrange some things. Have a smaller ceremony, basically that's what I am doing.  Reception done at a later date not that we can't afford it.  We are both work, and I have work and school....but with a little change of plans and advice you can work this out, if you really love him and want to marry him, or is this all about the wedding......
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  • edited December 2011
    Is there no family or friend that could help contribute or loan you the money?

    I completely feel your pain. We planned a wedding with my parents intending on paying for it. But my dads business closed and they now are living paycheck to paycheck. I never would have planned as big of a wedding if I would have known what situation we'd be in, because now my FI are paying for everything when I was just working temp jobs. Luckily I did just get a job, so we are ok so far.
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  • edited December 2011
    I definitely feel for you and I think many of us are having financial hardships. That being said, I think there are things you can do to be able to still have your wedding. What have you actually put deposits on?

    If you haven't put a deposit for the photographer, caterer and DJ I would cancel them. And scale back. See if you could do just cake and punch reception. You can get sheet cakes from the grocery store or even cupcakes. Do the invitations yourself or use VP and use one of their free products like a postcard. See if your venue has a sound system and you can use an ipod for your music. Pretty much try to save as much as you can.
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  • courtski2004courtski2004 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_cant-finish-paying-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:102Discussion:9a2e03bb-23b4-4b6d-a4b1-4b1aeea47c64Post:04217fc6-c959-4f73-a334-535bdbb21eea">We can't finish paying for our wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE] I have a feeling that with just my income and only two months until the day, that we will be majorly short and have to postpone again. Posted by niashanta@yahoo.com[/QUOTE]

    I'm not sure that I understand this. Will you be short, or can it be salvaged? I wouldn't trust my wedding to a 'feeling' that I could get it all paid for in time if we are dealing with lack of income. The tone of your overall post gives me the impression that you will come up short. The sooner you decide one way or the other, the sooner you'll be able to let go of that pressure and stress.
    I agree with PP's--either ask your vendors to postpone or scale back. I wouldn't confirm a date until you know you'll be able to go through with it, since your vendors may be weary of another re-schedule. There are plenty of ways to DIY, and the reception isn't mandatory although the industry has made us believe that it isn't really a wedding without one.
  • edited December 2011
    So you put down deposits & started planning everything while he was on unemployment? That was a really bad idea.
    I don't really know what to tell you other than cut back the vendors that you've already put down deposits with & forget about the ones that you haven't yet.
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  • bbybluz77bbybluz77 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_texas-dallas-ft-worth_cant-finish-paying-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:102Discussion:9a2e03bb-23b4-4b6d-a4b1-4b1aeea47c64Post:cdd1b857-165a-4f50-a6be-9150bd65d624">Re: We can't finish paying for our wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]So you put down deposits & started planning everything while he was on unemployment? That was a really bad idea.
    Posted by TexanTreasure08[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>This. I'm not trying to make you feel even worse about the situation, but that really was a bad idea. It's even sort of offensive. But, like others have said, you guys can still get married. You just need to prioritize and get creative. Stop thinking about what a typical wedding looks like, and start thinking about what is most important to you and go from there. Smaller guest list, iPod music, pick-up catering, DIY projects, bulk flower delivery services (ie. <a href="http://www.fiftyflowers.com)," rel='nofollow'>www.fiftyflowers.com),</a> will all help with the budget. And there's always the JP.

    </div>
  • bethlovesjimbethlovesjim member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm sort of in the same boat.  I lost my Job and FI has been working 2 jobs since then.   We wont postpone our wedding, so here are some solutions we came up with.

    eBay.... We have sold a TON of stuff on eBay.  Just about everything around the house that we don't want anymore.  This has become my part time job since I'm unemployed. And we sold our gym equipment we never use.  I'm also thinking about selling the sofa.  (we are moving away right after the wedding, and I don't want to take it with us, so its sell it now, or sell it later)

    FI worked for the florist (he has experience) during V-day, helped pay a huge portion of the flower bill.

    We hired a recent college grad to do our photography, got a great deal!

    Our DJ is FI's Uncle

    Downsizing our wedding rings. cheap plain silver rings, mine has smaller diamonds than I originally wanted.

    We called the venue, and let her know the unemployment situation, and asked her what it would cost to cancel.  She called me back a week later, and cut a few costs for us.  We are doing the cheapest food option

    These are just some things that worked for me.  I'm not saying they will work for you, but maybe they can give you some ideas.
    first camping trip engagement
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