Bridal shower alternative - Favorite place theme

deiadrea

-deleted-

SilverLining1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bridal-shower-alternative-favorite-place-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:14f4cd85-633a-462a-875f-686b742007ebPost:8c12ddd0-a61d-482f-b063-d1f26d457bea">Bridal shower alternative - Favorite place theme</a>:
[QUOTE]How about this shower alternative? A "Favorite Place" theme? I am getting married in a different city, one where I lived for 15 years and where most of my friends still live. I miss that city! What if people brought gifts that were site-specific? A map, a local author's book, a locally made candy bar, a photo of a landmark, a story of their favorite place in town? The Boy and I have everything we need -- we have been living together for 4 years, are both in our late 30s, and have a decent income. We don't need anything. Still, my friends would like to throw me a shower as a chance for me to just BE with my friends. Yay! I think that some people may want to give gifts -- I have a double standard in that I don't expect people to give me gifts, but I know that I would feel like a jerk if I showed up without a gift. Is this "favorite place" thing a good way to make it clear that I don't care about the a registry but just want a piece of the place and the people in it that make it special? If so, how can I describe what I'm going for in a clearer way than I did here? Thanks in advance!
Posted by deiadrea[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">As a guest, I would be very confused by your theme. I have no idea what that means. The point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts. If you want to get together with friends, then have a party. Not for the wedding, but to get together.</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">If you would like a shower, then I suggest registering. I think that almost anyone could benefit from registering for upgrades on things that they already own, and replacements (sheets and towels only last so long). You could also include a few big-ticket, expensive items as long as you have plenty of less expensive options, as well. </div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">
</div><div style="font-family:Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10px;background-color:initial;background-image:none;background-attachment:initial;background-origin:initial;background-clip:initial;color:#1f1f1f;font:normal normal normal 11px/14px Arial, sans-serif;text-align:left;line-height:normal;">Good luck with your wedding!</div>
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AdeleDazeem

I tend to agree with SilverLining.  A shower is meant to shower the bride with gifts and 99% of the people will want to give you something for your home. 

However, if it is a small group who know and understand the theme, then I don't see the harm.  But, if you are inviting your mom, dear aunt nancy, and your future grandmother in law, then you need to have a traditional shower or no shower at all.

jessicabessica

You could just have a bridal tea or a different kind of party--"shower" really means gifts.  I think it can be complicated to try to have a shower that doesn't involve gifts, or at least the typical wedding gifts, because it is confusing to people and some people consider it rude when you have themes for gifts for showers.  

If you still want to have a shower, I would register for some upgrades, like PPs mentioned.  My friends also got me some great off registry items for my shower--cookbooks they thought I'd enjoy, some really cute little plates and Anthropologie-type homeware I would never have gotten for myself. 

aegrish

How about you just let guests bring what they want instead of telling or even suggesting what they theme.  I bridal shower should be fun to go to, not something you have to 'research' a gift for.

aegrish

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bridal-shower-alternative-favorite-place-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:14f4cd85-633a-462a-875f-686b742007ebPost:8c12ddd0-a61d-482f-b063-d1f26d457bea">Bridal shower alternative - Favorite place theme</a>:
[QUOTE]How about this shower alternative? A "Favorite Place" theme? I am getting married in a different city, one where I lived for 15 years and where most of my friends still live. I miss that city! What if people brought gifts that were site-specific? A map, a local author's book, a locally made candy bar, a photo of a landmark, a story of their favorite place in town? <strong>The Boy and I have everything we need -- we have been living together for 4 years</strong>, are both in our late 30s, and have a decent income. We don't need anything. Still, my friends would like to throw me a shower as a chance for me to just BE with my friends. Yay! I think that some people may want to give gifts -- I have a double standard in that I don't expect people to give me gifts, but I know that I would feel like a jerk if I showed up without a gift. Is this "favorite place" thing a good way to make it clear that I don't care about the a registry but just want a piece of the place and the people in it that make it special? If so, how can I describe what I'm going for in a clearer way than I did here? Thanks in advance!
Posted by deiadrea[/QUOTE]

I really doubt you have every single thing you could possibly need.  There is NOTHING you could use an upgrade on?

katieisawesome

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bridal-shower-alternative-favorite-place-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:14f4cd85-633a-462a-875f-686b742007ebPost:8c12ddd0-a61d-482f-b063-d1f26d457bea">Bridal shower alternative - Favorite place theme</a>:
[QUOTE]How about this shower alternative? A "Favorite Place" theme? I am getting married in a different city, one where I lived for 15 years and where most of my friends still live. I miss that city! What if people brought gifts that were site-specific? A map, a local author's book, a locally made candy bar, a photo of a landmark, a story of their favorite place in town? The Boy and I have everything we need -- we have been living together for 4 years, are both in our late 30s, and have a decent income. We don't need anything. Still, my friends would like to throw me a shower as a chance for me to just BE with my friends. Yay! I think that some people may want to give gifts -- I have a double standard in that I don't expect people to give me gifts, but I know that I would feel like a jerk if I showed up without a gift. Is this "favorite place" thing a good way to make it clear that I don't care about the a registry but just want a piece of the place and the people in it that make it special? If so, how can I describe what I'm going for in a clearer way than I did here? Thanks in advance!
Posted by deiadrea[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>1.  Your fiance is not a "boy"</div><div>2.  A shower's sole purpose is gifts so if you just want to spend time with your friends, spend time with them under some other pretense.</div><div>3.  You can't throw your own shower.</div><div>4.  That idea has nothing to do with getting married so while it would be a cute theme for a birthday or something, I don't necessarily think it is appropriate for a bridal shower.

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deiadrea

Thanks to those of you who replied with helpful (non-snarky) comments!  I really appreciate it. Based on your advice, I will stick to KISS and make sure we are registered for a bunch of little items, upgrades, and maybe a few larger items but also make it clear that most important is seeing people and having them celebrate with us.

I won't be throwing my own shower (duh) and everyone invited will, of course, also be invited to the wedding. I think my point was that this isn't about a gift grab. 

aegrish

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bridal-shower-alternative-favorite-place-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:14f4cd85-633a-462a-875f-686b742007ebPost:a7d57046-6acc-4ac8-943c-645eff227f87">Re: Bridal shower alternative - Favorite place theme</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bridal shower alternative - Favorite place theme : 1.  <strong>Your fiance is not a "boy" </strong>2.  A shower's sole purpose is gifts so if you just want to spend time with your friends, spend time with them under some other pretense. 3.  You can't throw your own shower. 4.  That idea has nothing to do with getting married so while it would be a cute theme for a birthday or something, I don't necessarily think it is appropriate for a bridal shower.
Posted by katieisawesome[/QUOTE]

diddo. Unless he's under 17....

mandi921vh

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_bridal-shower-alternative-favorite-place-theme?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:14f4cd85-633a-462a-875f-686b742007ebPost:1e139cb8-9a98-4ca6-886b-ee926c6501c0">Re: Bridal shower alternative - Favorite place theme</a>:
[QUOTE]How about you just let guests bring what they want instead of telling or even suggesting what they theme.  I bridal shower should be fun to go to, not something you have to 'research' a gift for.
Posted by aegrish[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly. </div>