Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?

MNVegas

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_travelers-joy-vs-honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:1cfc2906-538e-4388-b39f-526a74b2c2b4Post:3d4ac7e8-df27-45e7-ae4b-5e032986bd79">Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?</a>:
[QUOTE]btw MNVegas, I noticed you suggest another bride on another post "spread the word she is working on her house and that gift cards would be appreciated" isn't that asking for cash in card form? 
Posted by barkerspud[/QUOTE]

If you stalk my posts regarding cash registries, asking for cash or gift cards directly, you will see that I am consistent with my response.

I believe outright requests for cash in any form by the B&G directly is  inappropriate and I have always stated that. 

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_travelers-joy-vs-honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:1cfc2906-538e-4388-b39f-526a74b2c2b4Post:3d4ac7e8-df27-45e7-ae4b-5e032986bd79">Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?</a>:
[QUOTE]btw MNVegas, I noticed you suggest another bride on another post "spread the word she is working on her house and that gift cards would be appreciated" isn't that asking for cash in card form? 
Posted by barkerspud[/QUOTE]

Let me break it down for you, sweetie.

If you don't register, people start to wonder what to get you for your wedding. Naturally, they head to your mother, your FI's mother, your brother, your sister, your dog, etc. to ask them what they think you might like. If you make these people aware of WHY you did not register, then they can say, "Oh, they're not registering. But they are saving up for XYZ and they are renovating their house. Maybe a gift card from Home Depot?"

Guests, because they solicited the advice instead of having it sent to them in invitation form as if a gift was some kind of requirement, say "Oh that's a great idea! Thank you!"

Voila. You have money and you didn't go around saying "Gimme cash" to your guests.

What part of this is so hard to understand?

barkerspud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_travelers-joy-vs-honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:1cfc2906-538e-4388-b39f-526a74b2c2b4Post:da120b36-e406-4bb3-a29b-1e17ef7e39e2">Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund? : If you stalk my posts regarding cash registries, asking for cash or gift cards directly, you will see that I am consistent with my response. I believe outright requests for cash in any form by the B&G directly is  inappropriate and I have always stated that. 
Posted by MNVegas[/QUOTE]

I'm not stalking but I was lurking as suggested by most of the boards, and I don't see the huge tacky difference between spreading the word about a couple wanting HD gift cards and creaing a registry (which is usually spread by word of mouth) about contributing to an event/expeirence. So a gallon of paint is a better "investment" for a guest to give then an experience on a honeymoon? 5 years from now FI and I are not going to remember who gave us either...

At the end of the day a registry is a registry and you are still suggesting gifts for those who ask which at it's core is kind of rude. I don't think it's overlly fair to rip girls apart because the choose to suggest gifts different from the china or stemwear that 50 years ago was decided as appropriate. More and more social circles are finding this an acceptable solution for couples that have waht they need, proven by the ammount of registries out there for honeymoons.

banana468

FWIW, it's been over 3 years and I remember who gave us a TON of our gifts.

And that mini-moon we took is a distant memory.  We still use the All-Clad pan at least once a week and I woke up this morning on wedding gift sheets under a wedding gift blanket that was covered in a wedding gift duvet.  Then I dried myself with a wedding gift towel.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund? : Who said anything about about putting the registry on the invitations?
Posted by barkerspud[/QUOTE]
I never said anything about a registry in what I said. Where are you getting that? I was just saying that there IS a difference in how you go about requesting cash - directly, or indirectly. That one is okay, and another is not.

quotequeen

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_travelers-joy-vs-honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:1cfc2906-538e-4388-b39f-526a74b2c2b4Post:d36ab8a0-dd9c-4600-a065-9a3fbfca4355">Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund? : I'm not stalking but I was lurking as suggested by most of the boards, and I don't see the huge tacky difference between spreading the word about a couple wanting HD gift cards and creaing a registry (which is usually spread by word of mouth) about contributing to an event/expeirence. So a gallon of paint is a better "investment" for a guest to give then an experience on a honeymoon? 5 years from now FI and I are not going to remember who gave us either... At the end of the day a registry is a registry and you are still suggesting gifts for those who ask which at it's core is kind of rude. I don't think it's overlly fair to rip girls apart because the choose to suggest gifts different from the china or stemwear that 50 years ago was decided as appropriate. More and more social circles are finding this an acceptable solution for couples that have waht they need, proven by the ammount of registries out there for honeymoons.
Posted by barkerspud[/QUOTE]


Here's the thing.  If people want to give you cash they will.  They don't need to ask whether you want it (because everybody does), and they don't need a special mechanism to give it to you.  The people who don't want to give cash are the ones who (may) need suggestions on what you would like, and that is what the registry is for.

I don't think it's appropriate to ask for gift cards either.  But the registry shouldn't be shared with anybody unless they ask, so it depends on the phrasing.  If the question is "where are they registered," I think that calls for a straightforward response, without the addition of other stuff they might like.  But if the question is "what would they like?" only then is it fine to mention that they are saving for something, or that they would also enjoy home depot gift cards.

Putting gift cards on a registry is not acceptable, in my opinion.

eguerra23

trix1223 - I think I said in an earlier response, but I did not flat out say "DO NOT RESPOND IF YOU'RE ANTI-HR". I actually HAD just gone through quite a handful of older posts related to HR and will admit I was rather put off by the fact that so many of them didn't have their question answered and received only negative responses (unless they asked "Are HR tacky" in which case, they should have expected as such).

All I wanted was a specific answer to a specific question - which HR out of 2 options was the best. For people to comment and tell me "HR are tacky" helps me none. I clearly had my mind made up from the beginning, I just wanted advice on those who had done one on WHICH HR to use. I was making it well known, brazenly and bluntly, that I didn't care to hear anything other than the specific answer I was looking for. I've been knot board member long enough to know what the general consensus on the topic is. I figured I would get a lot of negativity on my post - hence why my FH and I really did jokingly make a bet last night on how many comments I'd have telling me how wrong I was to do it!

And, someone else mentioned the "if you're so confident, just pick one"... that is rather silly to say. I'm not juggling the decision TO have a HR registry or not - I'm juggling between which one to choose. I DO need help with that. It's like telling someone who says "I know I want a buy a motorcycle, I just don't know which one" that if they are so sure they want one, they should just pick up and shut up. Obviously, there's more research to be done than me just going "eeny meeny miny moe" and picking one. That's what the post was for in the first place!

strlzfan11

In all your research of the other HR posts, did you come across any posts from brides who said they actually used either of the two options you're looking into?  If so, PM those brides directly and ask them your questions.  I know for a fact there are brides on here who have used them.  This way you probably won't get the "it's tacky and rude" response that you're obviously opposed to.
 
Just because someone hasn't used something doesn't mean they can't offer some useful advice about it.  Now would be a good time to use the phrase everyone around here recommends for dealing with a pushy mom & FMIL- "we'll take that under consideration."

Not everyone has the same opinion as you & your FI do.  Just because you don't like someone else's opinion doesn't mean you can't respect that someone else thinks differently than you.

eguerra23

KTHD - thanks for the support! One thing TK has taught me REALLY quickly is that you have to stand by your own wedding decisions because on the boards, you can find 30 people who will tell you it's an awful idea. Which is fine, they can (and obviously will!) tell you but it's not your time wasted because you know they won't change your mind. FH and I actually laughed out loud while reading some of these responses, so they definitely don't get to me - you shouldn't let comments get to you either! None of us have time/energy to stress over random girls on the internet, especially when we have handsome fiances/husbands to attend to and love on!

noodle_oo - Thanks for being able to discuss 2 opposite viewpoints with me in a noninsulting, mature way!

tldh - thanks for your clarification. I meant that I was confident in my decisions (i.e. doing a HR) and that any comments against it weren't going to change that. I know a lot/most of these comments were made in hopes that I'd reconsider but just wanted to let everyone know that it wasn't going to work out that way. I'm stubborn.

barkerspud - FINALLY!  haha Thanks so much for all your insight and question on the subject - FH and I had the exact convo when considering the HR of "well, do we really need any house stuff? I know neither one of us will ever use expensive china..." so I also don't think HR is being rude. Maybe if I charged my guests a cover at the door to the reception... Then THAT'S rude to me! I am really thinking maybe it's one of those things that is considered tacky now, but won't be down the road. I can't imagine normal gift registries were so easily accepted when they started catching on. "Buy me all my appliance and our bed sheets!" (which bed sheets/bed stuff on a registry make me feel AWK-WARD! haha)

eguerra23

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_travelers-joy-vs-honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:1cfc2906-538e-4388-b39f-526a74b2c2b4Post:801d9f16-c294-449f-a025-0e02fbd90c65">Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?</a>:
[QUOTE]In all your research of the other HR posts, did you come across any posts from brides who said they actually used either of the two options you're looking into?  If so, PM those brides directly and ask them your questions.  I know for a fact there are brides on here who have used them.  This way you probably won't get the "it's tacky and rude" response that you're obviously opposed to.   Just because someone hasn't used something doesn't mean they can't offer some useful advice about it.  Now would be a good time to use the phrase everyone around here recommends for dealing with a pushy mom & FMIL- "we'll take that under consideration." Not everyone has the same opinion as you & your FI do.  Just because you don't like someone else's opinion doesn't mean you can't respect that someone else thinks differently than you.
Posted by strlzfan11[/QUOTE]

What's funny is that's exactly how my FH worded it - "this sounds like 15 different mother in laws who don't agree with your decisions!" I will say I suppose for my own ease and what I thought would be fastest, I figured just making a post for it would bring all those HR users together instead of being a feeding ground for anti-HR brides! I do respect everyone's own opinion, I just knew that the majority wouldn't respect MINE (obviously) so I looked at it as "I know you're not going to agree, so let's agree to disagree, there's no reason for anti-HR knotties to comment and tell me they are anti-HR".

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_travelers-joy-vs-honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:1cfc2906-538e-4388-b39f-526a74b2c2b4Post:d36ab8a0-dd9c-4600-a065-9a3fbfca4355">Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund? : I'm not stalking but I was lurking as suggested by most of the boards, and I don't see the huge tacky difference between spreading the word about a couple wanting HD gift cards and creaing a registry (which is usually spread by word of mouth) about contributing to an event/expeirence. So a gallon of paint is a better "investment" for a guest to give then an experience on a honeymoon? 5 years from now FI and I are not going to remember who gave us either... At the end of the day a registry is a registry and you are still suggesting gifts for those who ask which at it's core is kind of rude. I don't think it's overlly fair to rip girls apart because the choose to suggest gifts different from the china or stemwear that 50 years ago was decided as appropriate. More and more social circles are finding this an acceptable solution for couples that have waht they need, proven by the ammount of registries out there for honeymoons.
Posted by barkerspud[/QUOTE]

Did you read how I responded to your post? Because I very clearly explained why a honeymoon registry usually doesn't go over very well. Even if in "more and more social circles" it's becoming a trend, there are bound to be people on your guest list who will be offended and choose not to give you a gift at all. Take that into consideration.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund? : Let me break it down for you, sweetie. If you don't register, people start to wonder what to get you for your wedding. Naturally, they head to your mother, your FI's mother, your brother, your sister, <strong>your dog, etc. to ask them what they think you might like.</strong> If you make these people aware of WHY you did not register, then they can say, "Oh, they're not registering. But they are saving up for XYZ and they are renovating their house. Maybe a gift card from Home Depot?" Guests, because they solicited the advice instead of having it sent to them in invitation form as if a gift was some kind of requirement, say "Oh that's a great idea! Thank you!" Voila. You have money and you didn't go around saying "Gimme cash" to your guests. What part of this is so hard to understand?
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]
"Lots of Milk-Bones, and she's hoping for some blind, toothless, declawed cats. Srsly! She told me herself."

Very good post, Kate. I think you should keep this somewhere for future C&P.

barkerspud

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_travelers-joy-vs-honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:1cfc2906-538e-4388-b39f-526a74b2c2b4Post:67c58c02-a3ca-41a7-a0f1-6d8460197217">Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund? : Did you read how I responded to your post? Because I very clearly explained why a honeymoon registry usually doesn't go over very well. Even if in "more and more social circles" it's becoming a trend, there are bound to be people on your guest list who will be offended and choose not to give you a gift at all. Take that into consideration.
Posted by Manwaithiel[/QUOTE]

<div>I did read how you responded and I appreciate your answers, however I think that due to the rise in popularity and the increase in the amount of sites that offer travel registries it is being accepted into more and more social circles, just maybe not yours. I know FI and I have been to a number of weddings in the last few years that had more HMR's then not. </div><div>
</div><div>EG made the point that normal registries, and eventually online registries were also probably at one point looked upon with disdain. People change, times change and traditions change. If your friends do a HMR then buy them a lovely pieces of cookware and call it a day, but maybe, just maybe consider, that there are a lot of people out there who use the HMR product and have friends and family that think it's a great idea. </div>

strlzfan11

One thing you may not have considered....

if all you're having is a HR then you probably should decline all requests to have a shower thrown in your honor.  The purpose of a shower is to literally shower the bride with gifts (physical ones).  If there are no wrapped presents to be opened then there is no purpose for the shower.

Manwaithiel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_travelers-joy-vs-honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:1cfc2906-538e-4388-b39f-526a74b2c2b4Post:7092e79e-b876-41ab-8341-ab97f96bf0c4">Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?</a>:
[QUOTE]"Lots of Milk-Bones, and she's hoping for some blind, toothless, declawed cats. Srsly! She told me herself." Very good post, Kate. I think you should keep this somewhere for future C&P.
Posted by kathrynhabibti[/QUOTE]

LOL. That's what my dog would tell my guests fo' sho. I'll put it in a little word document. =)

dovesweet07

So... to answer your original question... We had a Honeyfund registry as well as small registries at Crate & barrel and macys. We made the other registries small so that people would kind of get the hint that we would prefer honeymoon stuff. For our shower, most people bought stuff off the other registries (physical gifts) and only a couple ppl used the honeyfund. Our wedding is this weekend and i know people have gotten stuff from the honeyfund as wedding presents.
Overall the honeyfund is really easy to use and only charges you a fee if the guests use a credit card. The guests are not charged any fees, which is good.
If you know your guests will "accept it" and will understand that you would rather get honeymoon stuff, definitely go for it. I'd also set up a small registry for house stuff so that people who want to get you physical items have options.

becca474

eguerra23 I sent you a PM

khrissyv

I think it's funny because I guess I never really pay attention to what people register for, I just scan through the registries and find something that fits my budget and I would enjoy myself (makes it so much more fun to purchase). I personally have never seen a HR, but I probably wouldn't think twice about it. Let's be honest- does anyone really need a set of useless china for entertaining?  

khrissyv

Well thats pretty awesome- I love when people actually use that stuff. I only say that because so many people think they need multiple sets of everything and pull it out maybe once a year. I myself am using my mom's wedding china as our everyday dishes! 

mlhubbard

We actually just registered through Sandals and they have contracted it out to a third party.  The only fees we have noticed, is the buyer has to pay tax on the purchase--but they would have to do that with everything except a gift card anyways (and then YOU would be paying the tax).

Also, I am pretty sure that TK sent out an email a couple of weeks ago listing "10 rules that are okay to break" and registering was one of them.  They suggest a HR since a lot of people ARE living together before marriage these days.  If THIS WEBSITE says it is a growing trend that people shouldn't be afraid of, then go for it!  We are

heyimbren

The Knot often gives poor advice in their articles. So I wouldn't abide by any of those "rules".

I'm not going to argue about a HR since the arguments have all been made.

But why not save yourself the trouble of registering for one, and just have a small registry for those few extra things you could use (like towels, you can never have too many).

People will get the hint that you want cash, and you can use the cash towards your HM. Problem solved, no one's deceived or offended, and you still get what you want.

Ultimately a HR = cash, so just skip the "middle man" of a HR and save yourself the effort. You can still use money you get as wedding gifts on your HM. Because as others have said, no one's really buying you that "couple's massage". They're just paying TJ or HF to give you a cheque. Which they could have done themselves.

eguerra23

I got a few helpful answers thanks to the ladies who gave me good info!

For the record... my wedding will not be in Austin nor would I care if it's considered "rude" here, because to generalize how an entire city of such diverse people feel about something is ridiculously presumptious. As much as people refuse to believe me, I know my family and VERY close friends quite well and would know if I thought I would get a lot of negative flack from it.

BTW, just as a side note... it seems that a lot of Knotties don't have much faith in their/my wedding guests to say so surely that they are going to talk about me behind my back, judge me, etc. I don't doubt my guests for a second! I feel sorry for you if you think your nearest and dearest's attitudes towards you would change due to the way you did something for your wedding.

I also would like to thing it's a generational thing. HR are a growing trend, and other women I've talked to (25-30 yr old range) who AREN'T invited to my wedding (coworkers, my boss, etc) have said that HR are a unique and creative idea that they wouldn't think twice about contributing to. As one put it, "If I'm gonna give you a $50 gift, who cares if it's $50 to a kitchen appliance or $50 to a nice dinner on your honeymoon? The point is to make you and your husband happy!" So I am thinking that, more likely than not, younger crowds are likely to be more accepting of this trend than older women. Shrug, so is life!

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]Stop the flame war and somebody please just answer her d@mn question.  
Posted by portialoveschris[/QUOTE]
You realize that this wasn't an answer either, right?

banana468

[QUOTE]BTW, just as a side note... it seems that a lot of Knotties don't have much faith in their/my wedding guests to say so surely that they are going to talk about me behind my back, judge me, etc. I don't doubt my guests for a second! I feel sorry for you if you think your nearest and dearest's attitudes towards you would change due to the way you did something for your wedding.[/QUOTE]

I don't think the attitude of my nearest and dearest will change.  I think the attitude they have will be exactly what they think.  And if I offended them they wouldn't dare tell me but Grandma will tell my mother, "What was Banana thinking when she did this?  Many people found that to be in poor taste."  And Grandma might even tell me too.

Family loving you doesn't mean family agreeing that everything you do is OK.  That's placating and it hardly gets anyone anywhere.

mkrupar

"If I'm gonna give you a $50 gift, who cares if it's $50 to a kitchen appliance or $50 to a nice dinner on your honeymoon? The point is to make you and your husband happy!"

eguerra - If they're going to give you a $50.00 check, then why not just let them give you a $50.00 instead of misleading them to believe that they're paying for a dinner for your honeymoon, when in fact, you're just getting a check from the HMR? If they were going to give you $50, then why have the HMR?

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_travelers-joy-vs-honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:1cfc2906-538e-4388-b39f-526a74b2c2b4Post:a87f2e2a-9dcc-44dc-b7b4-374e42487ab1">Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?</a>:
[QUOTE]"If I'm gonna give you a $50 gift, who cares if it's $50 to a kitchen appliance or $50 to a nice dinner on your honeymoon? The point is to make you and your husband happy!" eguerra - If they're going to give you a $50.00 check, then why not just let them give you a $50.00 instead of misleading them to believe that they're paying for a dinner for your honeymoon, when in fact, you're just getting a check from the HMR? If they were going to give you $50, then why have the HMR?
Posted by mkrupar[/QUOTE]

Exactly. That's my biggest problem with a HR. It would be similar to having a household registry, paying $50 for a toaster but instead of you getting the toaster, you just get a cheque for $50. What's the point? It just seems like a waste of time to register for things that you won't actually get- all you're getting is a cheque.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]I don't think the attitude of my nearest and dearest will change.  I think the attitude they have will be exactly what they think.  <strong>And if I offended them they wouldn't dare tell me </strong>but Grandma will tell my mother, "What was Banana thinking when she did this?  Many people found that to be in poor taste."  And Grandma might even tell me too. <strong>Family loving you doesn't mean family agreeing that everything you do is OK.  That's placating and it hardly gets anyone anywhere.</strong>
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]
Agreed. My cousin just made a couple of huge faux pas with her recent surprise wedding (the surprise of the date change was not the problem, btw) and while we in at least my immediate family haven't said anything directly to her, there is huge side-eye going on and quite frankly, hurt feelings. I love her, but I absolutely do not think that everything she did with this wedding and planning was okay. In fact it was downright hurtful.

eguerra23

It seems that a lot of people insinuate that it will forever impact your relationships simply because someone will talk badly about you/your wedding... and I suppose I just don't get it. If they never tell me, then no harm no foul. What I don't know won't hurt me, and I truly think it will be fine. Even if my family doesn't agree with me, they will of course still love me and in the end, it's about me and my FH finally getting married! The rest of it won't matter because I DO know that my fam/friends will look at that as the most important thing. Everything else is just nonsense.

And holy cow, ladies, I put in that quote as an example of how someone who is in my social circle views HMR. Let's not take things so literally! I don't see how it's misleading my guests if we truly do put the money they contribute to whatever it is we have on our registry? It's not like I'm going to go shopping at the mall with the money! I'm sure there have been lots of brides who used HR and then used the money for groceries, bills, etc. but that's not my intention.

I also don't know why people are so picky about what medium their gift money goes through. I agree that if I decide my best friend is getting married and I want to give her and her husband a $100 gift, why would I care if it goes through a check, or a HR, or a $100 gift? From the buyer POV, I'm still going to be out $100 so what does it matter to me what venue it takes? I am assuming it's just a personal preference. I don't think it's a waste of time to let my guests see what things/activities they would be contributing to - and I really like the idea of sending a pic of us doing said activity and including it in the thank you card.


And nothing that I'm doing in my wedding or for the planning of it is going to directly hurt my fam's feelings. I'm not telling them to give me $20 at the door or else they can't come in or anything ridiculous like that. We're a tough family, but an easy going one, so again - thank you all for your concern(?) over how my guests will react but I assure you, it will be FINE! No one will ever believe me that I actually know our small guest list well enough to be able to say that truthfully, but only time will tell and if all my guests end up hating us, you guys can tell me "I told you so" after the wedding!

heyimbren

eguerra - this website isn't going to give you the answer or advice you're looking for regarding HR. I suggest if you want input on that that you find a different website for opinions from girls there.

jemmini6

eguerra-  I am also planning to do a HM registry despite all the negativity it gets here.  Just remember, you know how your guests will react to it, and none of the negative Nancy's here are invited. LOL.  IMO, if my guests are offended by it, they aren't required to give a gift anyways, that's not why we invited them to our wedding.  And if they really are so offended by it as to think less of us, then they probably aren't people I'll care to talk to very often anyways.

To answer your question, the only one I've heard good reviews of that doesn't charge a fee is honeyfund.com.  I've also heard that some resorts do their own registry without any fees, so it might be something to look into too if you already know where you will be staying, the only downside to that is you can probably only do stuff through your hotel.  FI's friends got married last year and did a HM registry (in which they received probably 90% of what they registered for), so I'm going to ask them which site they used for it too (I don't think it was honeyfund).