Registry and Gift Forum
Options

Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?

13»

Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?

  • Options
    I also wanted to throw in my experiences with people not registering at all...

    I know some of you have suggested that if you really prefer cash, to not register and your guests will get the hint and give cash instead.  While that makes sense to me (I usually always just give cash anyways, unless there is a HM registry), I've had very different experiences. 

    One of my friends recently got married and had a very small registry (maybe 20 items for a wedding of 150 guests) hoping that they would get cash to help do some renovations to their house.  Hardly anyone asked her parents and most people ended up going out on their own to pick gifts.  She ended up with 3 toasters, 5 spice racks, 2 cutting boards, a bunch of mismatched towel sets, etc.  They did get a few cash gifts (mostly from the people who asked the parents), but overall, everyone thought they had to buy a physical gift.  She felt awful about having to return so many duplicates and random stuff that she would never use.

    I'm just saying that you can't assume that all of your guests will 'get the hint' about wanting cash.  I also think that no matter what you do, you can't please everyone in your wedding, so in the end, you should go with what makes YOU happy and try not to step on too many toes.  (I've had one person I know think that any type of registry is extremely rude and tacky and then another person who thinks that not registering is rude, so no matter what, you are going to upset one of them)
    Anniversary
  • Options
    The Disney Honeymoon registry doesn't take a fee off the top. They don't book the items for you, but they give you Disney Giftcards. As far as I can tell, they're the 'best' HR out there. I believe, between the two you mention, Traveler's Joy has the smaller 'fee' for the services. That's the one my F and I are using.

    I know lots of folks above said that no one buys items off an HR, but we had about 1/4 of the HR registry gifts fulfilled during various showers. Our wedding is a few weeks away.

    I was a little worried, at first, that it would be seen as tacky, but I talked it over with my mother, grandmother and a couple of friends before I did it. Throughout the past few months (showers and connecting with people in normal life), I've found everyone to be enormously supportive of our HR.

    They are excited about our trip, and they want to be part of our Honeymoon. They're all looking forward to hearing about it afterwards. I've promised them all a detailed report (thinking about making a Honeymoon blog), and I plan to send everyone who made a gift through the HR photos from the trip.
  • Options
    In response to all of those posters who said that registering for a honeymoon goes against proper etiquette, perhaps you should read the following article:

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html?mod=pj_main_hs_coll

    particularly the 3rd paragraph down: "A honeymoon is a perfectly appropriate gift to request," says Peter Post, president of the Emily Post Institute, a Burlington, Vt., etiquette think tank. "There's no objection to it from an etiquette point of view."

    You're living in the 21st centruy now, not the 19th, time to get with the times. And also time to grow up and learn not be jealous of what others have/receive, like a fabulous honeymoon. I mean honesly, how childish is it to say that the reason you don't like HR is b/c talking about your honeymoon is "flaunting it". Grow up and stop being jealous. Be happy for the people you love (or don't go to people's weddings who you don't love) and stop being so judgmental and critical. All this woman asked for was a simple opinion on which was better, and asked that you not discuss how much you dislike HR's, b/c she had already read all of your other posts on how much you don't like them. It's old news, time for someone else with some different opinions to share.

    As for me, we haven't registered for our honeymoon yet, but are seriously considering one of these. Sorry i'm no help telling you which is better. I thought you might need the support, though, of someone who is not close-minded and stuck in the 1800's like everyone else who posted their ridiculous, jealous, out-dated thoughts.

    Good luck!
  • Options
    [QUOTE]In response to all of those posters who said that registering for a honeymoon goes against proper etiquette, perhaps you should read the following article: <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html?mod=pj_main_hs_coll" rel="nofollow">http://online.wsj.com/article/SB121020123458375115.html?mod=pj_main_hs_coll</a> particularly the 3rd paragraph down: "A honeymoon is a perfectly appropriate gift to request," says Peter Post, president of the Emily Post Institute, a Burlington, Vt., etiquette think tank. "There's no objection to it from an etiquette point of view." You're living in the 21st centruy now, not the 19th , time to get with the times. And also time to grow up and learn not be jealous of what others have/receive, like a fabulous honeymoon. I mean honesly, how childish is it to say that the reason you don't like HR is b/c talking about your honeymoon is "flaunting it". Grow up and stop being jealous. Be happy for the people you love (or don't go to people's weddings who you don't love) and stop being so judgmental and critical. All this woman asked for was a simple opinion on which was better, and asked that you not discuss how much you dislike HR's, b/c she had already read all of your other posts on how much you don't like them. It's old news, time for someone else with some different opinions to share. As for me, we haven't registered for our honeymoon yet, but are seriously considering one of these. Sorry i'm no help telling you which is better. I thought you might need the support, though, of someone who is not close-minded and stuck in the 1800's like everyone else who posted their ridiculous, jealous, out-dated thoughts. Good luck!
    Posted by JuliaCasey[/QUOTE]
    The fees alone are ridiculous. But hey, if someone wants to screw their guests out of money (which is what these fees do), then that's on them.
  • Options
    edited September 2010
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund? : The fee's are still less then sales tax and shipping in most states. :)
    Posted by barkerspud[/QUOTE]
    Hmm. Maybe so, but if we're going to compare, a check directly to the couple is even less still.

    ETA: I know that the gift-giver spends the same $xxx, no matter how much fee is taken out. But I still feel like that screws the gift-giver out of value for their money. I don't know if that makes sense.
  • Options
    Wow ladies...

    I came on the boards tonight looking for some advice on HMRs like eguerra23 did and was very surprised at the ugliness I found on this thread. I am new to the boards and this is the 1st encounter I have had with something like this.

    I don't know where those of you who have chosen to speak so harshly get off talking to someone the way you do. You know nothing about this woman on a personal level and have gone way beyond speaking about the strictly etiquette-based aspects of your arguments and have actually attacked her on a personal level. I don't feel like this is a very grown-up forum based on that.

    In fact, for all of you who are so concerned with the questionable degree of etiquette a HMR flaunts, The Emily Post Institute, which should be what, your church I suppose, okayed cash/ honeymoon registries, so it's time to fall in line...
    http://www.emilypost.com/wedding-registries-gifts-and-thank-yous/347-is-it-ok-to-ask-for-money

    Anyways.... @eguerra23... I have been researching HMRs as well. My FI and I live together & have everything. We have paid for everything on our own, paid our way through school, FI is in his Masters program, we are funding our wedding entirely on our own. I feel we have a right to register for something for ourselves, and if we didn't, our guests would probably bring something anyways. I plan to setup an additional traditional registry so that anyone who does have an issue with contributing to honeymoon activities can get us some things for our home, even though there are not many things we really need!

    I like Honeyfund so far. The site is setup nicely & they're not charging a fee, there's only a fee if your guests pay through Paypal & I believe it's 3%. I would just leave that option out so none of your funds get eaten up. You get to choose pics to match each of your items and you can name the items and change their descriptions. I'm a fan. I think that's what we're going with. I also like Depositagift.com a lot, but unfortunately they charge a fee. They let you setup a whole site though and let you link to other registries you may have setup, like Target, etc. I still think I'll go with honeyfund although I like the asthetic of the 2nd site more.

    Good luck with your planning and I hope these girls stay off of your back and find a better use for their time!
  • Options
    edited September 2010
    Did you even read the link you posted? It is the EXACT SAME THING we've been saying to people. While the asker is leaning towards a cash registry (hint: she says they're not inclined to set up a traditional registry), EP advises them to go by WORD OF MOUTH first, then tell people if they ask. She even advises setting up a traditional registry for those who would still like to get a physical gift:
    [QUOTE]Q: As a couple in our late 20s who have been living together for more than a year, my fiancé and I have all our household necessities and are not inclined to set up a conventional registry.  What we could really use is money for a down payment on a house.  Is there a tactful way to get the word out that we'd prefer cash?

    A: The tried-and-true method of telling people what you'd like is <strong>word of mouth</strong>.  <strong>It's a good idea for couples to provide their parents, their attendants and those close to them with a list of registry sources or, as in your case, let them know cash is preferable.</strong>  But remember that there's no dictating to guests what they must give; it's their prerogative to choose.  <strong>If you're asked directly, be honest and polite: Say, "We're saving for a down payment on a house, so if you'd like to give a check, that's how we'll use it. </strong> <strong>But whatever you decide will be terrific.  Thank you for thinking of us."</strong>  Cash presents are perfectly acceptable - as long as the guests feel comfortable with the idea.  <strong>Some people just don't like giving money, and that's OK.  For this reason it's a good idea to set up a traditional registry too - even if it has only a few items on it - </strong>so guests have a sense of what you like and need.[/QUOTE]<div class="contentpaneopen"><p>NOWHERE in there did she say that CRs/HRs are okay. </p><p> </p></div>
  • Options
    I was actually meaning to post a link to the article by Peter Post, who is now President of the Institute, which looking at the posts on this current page (which I hadn't done before) I see JuliaCasey has already done for us *thank you!* I see you already had a rebuke for her... You sure are following this closely. He certainly did say that HRs are well and fine and seeing as how Emily saw fit to leave her institute in his hands I'd say it's as good as her word. Etiquette case closed!
  • Options
    I would never say a HMR is "okay" just because the Emily Post Institute does. I don't blindly follow other people's opinions (on etiquette or anything else) like that.
  • Options
    And keep in mind that the EPost Institute has made other etiquette mistakes.

    At minimum, they're controversial so you need to know that if you opt to go with one, you stand a chance that not all guests will want to give off of one.
  • Options
    Wow you got a lot of BS posts to wade through. Anyway, I'm doing one through the resort I'm staying at, people can go on and sign us up for stuff, or just give money I guess, I haven't looked into it too much. You may want to see if that is an option at the place you're staying/going :)
  • Options
    edited January 2012
    Kind of funny all you people jump on the hate train when I was just going through the latest Knot email about "old rules" vs. "new rules" for weddings and THE KNOT SAYS HONEYMOON REGISTRIES ARE OK! So BAM! So all you little "Knotties" a.k.a. CRAZIES may need to find a new place to go because the Knot is getting a little *gulp* modern!

    I have lived on my own since I was 18 (moved for college) and stayed on my own so I have everything I need. I plan on creating a small in-store Target registry for the non-internet savvy family so they can help us replace some old stuff. But nobody I know (open-minded people) thinks it's tacky. I don't know if the majority of you are old and have been married for 20 years and have nothing else to do but criticize people and got tired of the news websites but back-off! You aren't wedding professionals and you don't know EVERYTHING. Have you picked up a wedding magazine lately? Not everyone has $80,000 to spend on a wedding and things can get pretty DIY or pop-cultur-ish. THINGS CHANGE! DEAL!

    The Knot email I got today even said a registry doesn't have to be household items either, it can be a ping-pong table or Sex and the City DVD set - I think THAT'S tacky because it sounds like a Christmas List!

    Honeymoon funds are IN! We don't have the money to take a trip right after the wedding so we are going to have a nice non-douchey expensive wedding, save like crazy the year after, see if anyone WANTS to help us through a honeymoon site while also giving them the option of a traditional registry, and hopefully be able to take our honeymoond for our 1 year anniversary. Oh heavens we are so shameful aren't we!
  • Options

    @frogurt814 : You can't register for hand me down plates therefore using random gifts that people gave you as a comparison between gift registries and honemoon registries doesn't make any sense.  Its gift registries that are the wateful thing here not thoughtful passed down gifts. 

    I can't even fathom the hurtfulness and rediculous closed-mindedness that I've read in this thread.  The poster clearly asked for this not to be about tackiness.  Some of us don't care about ettique and neither do our friends and family.  Not to mention the fact that ANYONE should be happy to contribute to a wonderful vacation experience as opposed to a toaster or a mixer or glasses that some couples will never use.  Its fine if you need those things but why can't you people understand that not everyone lives the same lifestyle as you.  I have a tiny apartment in NYC and I couldn't fit another plate if I tried.  But I can spend some time with the love of my life with a little help from friends and family (BTW on honeymoon registries they don't pay for the whole thing).

    Why is it that the people that are always most against something are always the most ignorant about it.

    @eguerra23 : You should join an actual community where people understand what working together and helping out is... OFFBEAT BRIDE
  • Options

    I am SOOOO glad you mentioned offbeat bride! I would have been lost without them. Cruising through the Knot I feel a little out of place and not as "bridal" as I should be, which depressed me. And let's face it, that's about the absolute worst thing that can happen to a newly-engaged-over-the-moon-excited bride. NO ONE wants to feel depressed about their wedding and honeymoon and I think it's terrible for others to make them feel that way.

    This orange haired writer is getting ready for her forest wedding and rock show reception! :)
  • Options
    tO FROGURT814> I can tell you probably have lived in one country your entire life
  • Options
    li2abethli2abeth member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2012
    Just in case anyone wants any info:

    I am debating between Traveler's Joy and Honeymoon Wishes because Honeyfund uses a credit card processing company (We Pay Inc) that has a B rating by the BBB. See link: http://www.bbb.org/sanjose/business-reviews/payment-processing-service/wepay-inc-1000002832.If you use Honeyfund, I would only suggest using the paypal option for credit cards or only have your guests pay with cash or check.   Personally I think a honeymoon registry should allow for easy credit card payment.  That is why I am considering either Traveler's Joy or Honeymoon Wishes.  I had friends that used each site and liked both.  Traveler's Joy charges 7.5% to the party receiving the gift for all gifts received.  That way your guests aren't charged a fee above and beyond the gift amount they want to give you.  Only issue with Traveler's Joy is I am not sure if you can receive funds multiple times and at anytime you want to withdraw them, I emailed them to find out and knowing that will make my decision because Honeymoon Wishes is more expensive as there is a 7% member fee and a 3% guest fee.  My friend said you can access your money at anytime from Honeymoon Wishes.  Hope this helps. 

    I also don't think they are tacky.  My fiance and I have most of the household item essentials and we never have time or extra money to vacation.  This registry will allow us to take a decent honeymoon since we are spending most of our funds on our wedding so we can include everyone and throw a great celebration.
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_travelers-joy-vs-honeyfund?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:1cfc2906-538e-4388-b39f-526a74b2c2b4Post:f0b4f19e-d9ee-4200-9c79-10a434f2b990">Re: Traveler's Joy vs. Honeyfund?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Haha... my fiance and I just bet on how many of these responses would be negative. All of them! Awesome, you guys rule. First of all, of course my fiance and I are going to pay for our honeymoon. It isn't a "let's see how much money we get then plan from there" type of thing, as registries aren't meant to be. It's a "well, let's add fun stuff that we want to do once we get there that we could definitely live without". It's so snooty to assume that we aren't going to pay for any of it. Why don't you ask me? And if we don't get much off of it, THAT'S FINE! Just like if we don't get anything off a normal registry were we to do that, THAT'S FINE! I certainly won't be devastated over it... I'll have just had a beautiful wedding! I didn't say if you were going to be negative, DO NOT RESPOND, I just don't understand why every person on here who is simply looking for specific answers regarding HMR is attacked w/ negativity about who so-and-so thinks they are tacky. If she didn't ask, why take time out of your day to be a Debbie Downer and tell her she is wrong to do what she is doing? She didn't ask. I looked over SO many of the posts about HMR and every single one was rudely/bluntly commented on about how tacky it was. Who cares? I for one plan on having a FUN wedding, not a stuffy one restricted by making sure I follow every etiquette rule in the book. I also don't see how a normal registry is different from a HMR, especially when the couple has all the household items they need. Asking for an espresso machine is no different than asking for a nice massage at the resort's spa that you are going to. At least, that's how our family/friends see it. And yes, I DO know how our guests will react so if anyone tries to insinuate otherwise, get off your high horse. It's a small wedding, we will know every person there quite well. @tldh - why exactly are you trying to be paint me as being naive and unexperienced in life? "Just wait, you'll see?" I'm certainly not as young/naive as you people may believe, and of course I want advice from people who have been down the same road - and by that, I mean people who had HMR. Hence the question in my post. I do not want people who hate HMR to give me advice because that is obviously not the road I'm going to take. I'm not asking for people to lie and tell me it's right/wrong in terms of proper manners. So going to weddingbee won't be any different. I'm asking people who have used TJ or HF for their experiences, not their approval. Going somewhere else won't give me a different kind of answer. It's either "yes I used TJ" or "yes I used HF". I just don't understand why Knotties can't just be excited for each other, understand that everyone will have their own wedding and it certainly won't be like your own, and respect that. Maybe that's where I'm naive - because I obviously haven't seen it from so many of these know-it-all brides.
    Posted by eguerra23[/QUOTE]

    Hi! I'm totally with you - you clearly asked a question about HF vs. TJ, not whether anyone thought honeymoon registries were a good idea, what they got, etc. Just about their experience with either/both of those sites. I really don't know why everyone feels like they need to pipe in with their views on what is/isn't tacky, or is/isn't right for you.... I have the same question right now, HF or TJ - did you end up using either? What was your experience?

    BTW -
    <p>As noted by <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wall_Street_Journal" title="The Wall Street Journal" rel="nofollow">The Wall Street Journal</a> in a May, 2008 review of popular honeymoon registry services:</p> <blockquote> <p>"A honeymoon is a perfectly appropriate gift to request," says Peter Post, president of the Emily Post Institute, a Burlington, Vt., etiquette think tank. "There's no objection to it from an etiquette point of view." <sup class="reference"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honeymoon_registry#cite_note-7" rel="nofollow"><span>[</span>7<span>]</span></a></sup></p> </blockquote>
  • Options
    Damn the ladies(*cough*) on these boards are RUDE. TACKY, I believe you would call it. Whatever you think about HMR, you have no right to talk down to other brides. Are you a wedding professional,  a certified diplomat of etiquette?? NO. You're married, or have been married, or are getting married. THAT'S IT. YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF FLAMING PEOPLE WHO JUST WANT INFORMATION. Gosh, I'm mad at myself for using so many caps. But this website is straight up 3rd grade, barely high school level. If you have over 1,000 posts under your belt on these forums, GET A LIFE! And lemme just thrown out some native judgemental assumptions your way ladies; GET A JOB!


    Back to my HMR,
    xoxoxoxox
  • Options
    PS>>> I LOVE OFFBEAT BRIDE!!!
  • Options
    Kill the zombies!
     
      Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • Options
    cmmeister said:
    um I just came across this board and you are some of the CATTIEST women ever, I feel sorry for anyone you come in contact with. Its one thing to give your opinion about an issue if you know about it but to respond the way you guys did, SHAME on you!!!
    How is digging up a 3 year post for the sole purpose of telling people they are catty NOT catty?

    People in glass houses...
    Don't worry guys, I have the Wedding Police AND the Whambulance on speed dial!
  • Options
    ambermarie089ambermarie089 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited July 2013
       While I certainly wouldn't think dramatically less of a person who used a honeymoon registry I do think they are tacky. If someone is okay with making a gift grabby/ tacky decision then they should be willing to admit it to themselves and others. Trying to justify it by mentioning your age, location, living status, etc is silly and insulting. I am from Portland, Oregon, I'm  in the 20-25 yr old age bracket, I am a graduate student, and we will be saving for and paying for our wedding and honeymoon on our own, but that doesn't mean we're using a HR because I don't think it's okay to ask people for money.
       I guess my point is fine, have your HR if you want. But don't say "oh it's not tacky in our situation because..... (list silly reason here)" . Many people face some or all of these situations and still make the decision not to have a HR.


    edited for typo
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards