Truly Random Problem

LaineEtc

Let me just begin by saying my fiance (and I) are extremely weird nerdy people, and his silliness is one of my favorite things about him.

When we (ok, when I) was registering, I told him he could put one "ridiculous" thing on the registry, meaning something we don't really need, but could be fun, thinking he'd choose something like a Soda Stream.

He chose an adult size Big Wheel.  That costs nearly $700.  Now, this is pretty funny, true, but I have this crippling fear that someone will actually buy it for us (like his groomsmen or his college buddies would all pool together).  We have absolutely no actual use for it, and the opportunity cost (think how much of the real registry we could get for that!) is just so great that I worry.

He says no one will ever buy it and it's his way of being represented on the registry.  It is true that I picked nearly all of it, but he did come along to the stores for final decisions and gave his input (which I took). 

Does anyone think I have any reason to worry?  Or is this just a little laugh we can give our guests while they shop?

I really do think this is hilarious...I just really really don't want to end up with a $700 Big Wheel we can't return.

hoffse

I think the bigger problem is that people who don't know him well will look at it and think you are both crazy for registering for something that expensive.  Not going to lie, I would probably call my FI and be like, "WTF did Laine register for?!?!?!"  I know it's probably judgy of me, but I'm being honest with you - I would probably talk about it, and I don't think I would really find it humorous.

I would tell your FI that you can't have something that expensive listed on the registry.  Let him participate and be represented in other ways.  My FI picked out our knives, towels, kitchen gadgets, and flatware.  He also had veto power over our china pattern, silver pattern, etc.  If it were entirely up to me our china would have been completely different.  But it was too floral for him, and so we compromised on something else we both loved.

I wouldn't worry about actually getting it, I would worry about how people will perceive it.  Even if you think that your guests know you well, you really have no idea what they'll be thinking when they see it.  I have friends who I know very well and who I know are trying to upgrade their Ikea furniture register for multi-thousand dollar bedroom sets.  I know they didn't expect to get it - they wanted the discount and they wanted gift cards.  But I still thought they were crazy for putting that out there in public.  

LaineEtc

It should also be noted that this is via our Amazon registry where you can comment on the items.  I wrote something like "You found our joke registry item!  We don't really want it, but hope it gave you a chuckle."

Does that help the situation?

hoffse

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_truly-random-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6a67649d-24e5-4b6a-a9c7-6004ac5d552fPost:5565df4a-fb76-4e4a-bf03-a4d03ebbc863">Re: Truly Random Problem</a>:
[QUOTE]It should also be noted that this is via our Amazon registry where you can comment on the items.  I wrote something like "You found our joke registry item!  We don't really want it, but hope it gave you a chuckle." Does that help the situation?
Posted by LaineEtc[/QUOTE]

<div>Maybe a little, but I would find it a bit off-putting.  I'm going to try to explain why, and hopefulyl this makes sense: </div><div>
</div><div>When FI and I attend a wedding, we usually spend about $100 on a wedding gift.  That's serious money for us, and we hope that the gift we give the couple is something they want, remember us by, and genuinely enjoy.  </div><div>
</div><div>Our wedding guests seem to feel similarly.  FI and I have received some truly beautiful things that we will likely keep forever - serving pieces of our china, pieces from our silver pattern, very nice platters, handmade salad bowls, etc.  These are things that we will remember our guests by.  Your guests may have a different persepctive, but mine seem to think that wedding gifts should be something that the couple wants, needs, and takes seriously.</div><div>
</div><div>I guess what I'm trying to say is that many guests take wedding gifts seriously - I am finding that they put a lot of thought into their choice, and many people are incredibly generous.  This certainly varies by circle - many circles give predominantly cash gifts - but my group really thinks about it.  I have received 3 or 4 beatriz ball serving pieces that coordinate with our china, and the ladies actually told me they went to the store and held them side by side to make sure it was something that would look nice with our china pattern.  I guess when I see a bride and groom joking about gifts they have registered for, I'd find it a little off-putting because I take wedding gifts pretty seriously when I give them.  Does that make any sense at all?</div>

jessicabessica

I would remove this.  People may not get the joke, and might either be really put off or decide to get it for you, neither of which are good outcomes.

I know that you can provide commentary on your Amazon registry.  Can your FI do that with items you have or other things that you would actually want?  A friend of mine annotated many items on her Amazon registry--for example, a line about maswiage next to their request for a copy of Princess Bride on DVD, a line about "for doing our taxes" next to their request for a shredder, etc..  Stick to neutral comments that show your personalities without offending people. 

Sierra524

I agree with PPs and say that you shouldn't put it on the registry. Even if it is a joke and you note that in the comments, people may not get it and think its tacky. Besides, anything that cost $700 should not be on the registry, as it is way too expensive. This may not be the same for everybody, but the most expensive item I put on my registry was $250, and its a vac. However, I dont have a large registry (under 100 items). Why dont you try getting your FI involved with the registry in other ways? My FI could care less about it to be honest, but when it comes to anything cooking related, he is all about it. He loves cooking, and I am starting to, so I let him pick all that stuff. His "unneccessary" item was a waffle maker. I would have never registered for it, but he wanted to. Does your FI enjoy cooking? Or neat kitchen gadgets? Is he really picky about the sheets he sleeps on (my FI is, so its not weird)? If he is, you could have him pick the bedding stuff. There are other ways to get him involved!

Peledreamsofrain

I had a similar discussion with my husband.  He really REALLY wanted to put something obscenely expensive on the registry that most people wouldn't even think of buying as a wedding present.  

After talking it over, I found that the root cause of this was that he felt the need to assert his presence more in the registry, and being a guy who can't admit that he wants to shop for stuff, expressed it in a cheeky way.

So, he got more presence.  We added things to the registry that I really didn't necessarily care for (we got a JiffyPop, and he luuuurvs it.  I'm very meh about it).  It was difficult for me to give up control, because I freakin love stuff, and had stars in my eyes about all the entertainment items we'd get.  But at the end of the day, it was his registry too.

MrsGandthebeag

I agree with the ladies, take it off.  I would think you were nuts if I saw this.  

EK2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_truly-random-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6a67649d-24e5-4b6a-a9c7-6004ac5d552fPost:5d593114-dbc4-4434-aacf-8bb5cdcc0c4a">Truly Random Problem</a>:
[QUOTE]Let me just begin by saying my fiance (and I) are extremely weird nerdy people, and his silliness is one of my favorite things about him. When we (ok, when I) was registering, I told him he could put one "ridiculous" thing on the registry, meaning something we don't really need, but could be fun, thinking he'd choose something like a Soda Stream. He chose an adult size Big Wheel.  That costs nearly $700.  Now, this is pretty funny, true, but I have this crippling fear that someone will actually buy it for us (like his groomsmen or his college buddies would all pool together).  We have absolutely no actual use for it, and the opportunity cost (think how much of the real registry we could get for that!) is just so great that I worry. He says no one will ever buy it and it's his way of being represented on the registry.  It is true that I picked nearly all of it, but he did come along to the stores for final decisions and gave his input (which I took).  Does anyone think I have any reason to worry?  Or is this just a little laugh we can give our guests while they shop? I really do think this is hilarious...I just really really don't want to end up with a $700 Big Wheel we can't return.
Posted by LaineEtc[/QUOTE]

<div>Maybe you could find some "man-cave" kind of thing for him to put on the registry that he would actually like, but is closer to $40-60?</div><div>
</div><div>One of my friends' FI's registered for fancy beer mugs with his college mascot on them.</div>

Summer2011Bride

I don't have an issue with one or two bigger ticket items because, like you said, sometimes co-workers or groups of friends go in together on one big item. I have seen $700 vacuums like the Dyson on almost every registry I have ever witnessed.

But what DOES bother me is that it's something you don't even want or will use. If it was an expensive stand mixer or vacuum that you truly want, I think one item that costs that much is fine and I wouldn't side eye it. But if it's just a joke and you wouldn't use it, I don't see the point of it being on there. I would try to have your FI represented elsewhere on the registry and have those items be things you guys actually want and will use.

MuppetOverlord

id remove it

OwningAHome1981

There are other things to put on that are more practical, yet "manly" and don't cost an arm and a leg... how about ipod speakers or something like that?

kristinanddan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_truly-random-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:6a67649d-24e5-4b6a-a9c7-6004ac5d552fPost:4cad2c70-fe99-4f9a-b3f1-51748e426205">Re: Truly Random Problem</a>:
[QUOTE]Besides, anything that cost $700 should not be on the registry, as it is way too expensive. 
Posted by Sierra524[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I disagree. While $700 IS expensive, saying it is too expensive of an item to belong on a registry is a generalization.

</div>

erinlin25

we went back through our list and removed everything we really knew we would not use simply because we would feel super guilty if someone took time to shop for us, thinking they picked something we would love and then we did not really want it.  The big wheel is pretty random and while some people will laugh and get its a joke, others will think its too weird.  Let FI find something else more reasonable--golf clubs, bar set, etc...

mrsbobfilson

in general we invite everyone we know to our weddings,that said,everyone knowing your husband i'm sure took it as a joke.don't worry.and you are allowed to have something on your registry that cost 700.00 there is NO etiquette that says you cannot! you have a funny husband to be,who will keep you smiling,good luck!