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Good Friends Never Gave Gift

My wedding was three months ago.  All of our guests had given a gift within a month after the wedding, with the exception of 5 of my husband’s closest friends, which has us perplexed and, honestly, a little hurt.   We have no indication they did not intend to get a gift (all are financially ok and received a gift from us at their wedding) or are planning a large group gift.  I also know some people think you have 12 months to give a gift, but we don’t think that is the case here.  The thing we are most concerned about is that they gave us a gift that somehow we did not receive (we have moved a few times), or they simply forgot they hadn’t given a gift (could be likely).  We understand we did not throw a wedding to expect gifts, and we can accept if they consciously decided to not give a gift for some reason.  However if I forgot to give a wedding gift to a good friend, I would appreciate a reminder as I would hate to have lingering feelings hurt the relationship in any way.  Should we approach these friends in some way or just forget about it?

Re: Good Friends Never Gave Gift

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    No, you shouldn't approach them.  What happens if you talk to them and they said they didn't give a gift? 
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    The only thing you can do is send them a thank you note for attending, and perhaps they will say "hmm, she didn't mention our gift" and ask you about it.  There is no way to politely say "hey I think you forgot to give us a gift."  And if they did forget, so what?
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    You're going to have to let this go.  It could be a very awkward conversation and it will make it look like you're being greedy.  
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    what a sticky situation. i would just let it go, but i would mention it to a mutual friend like oh so and so used our blender and she cant stop raving about it and see if they mention anything - but i dont think id go directly to them cause like pp said what if they tell you they didnt get you one? that could be akward
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    Send them a note for attending and see what happens after that.  If you didn't mention a gift and they got you one, they might realize it has gotten lost.  But I wouldn't mention it to them at all, it will only cause problems. 
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    Don't send a note. It seems very passive aggressive and they might even feel pressured to give you a gift. Let it go and move on. You were right when you said you didn't throw a wedding to get gifts, you wanted to share in your happy moment with the people you love.
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    They have a year to give you a gift, they may not be in a finanical situation right now to purchase something for you.  I sent my really good friend a gift a few months after her wedding because I wanted to make sure I got her something really good and not just towels.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_good-friends-never-gave-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:815c9748-604b-4f02-9b74-91dddcc65b76Post:5c2cbec1-d479-452a-80ba-600f26f4e4df">Good Friends Never Gave Gift</a>:
    [QUOTE] We understand we did not throw a wedding to expect gifts
    Posted by Tallulabelle4[/QUOTE]

    This.
    I would just let it go.
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    None of the above.  Send a thank you note for attending the wedding and discuss how much you enjoyed having them there.  If they got you a gift, they'll wonder why you didn't mention it and ask you about it. Then you'll know what happened.  If they forgot, they might feel guilty and get you one.  If they never planned on getting you a gift, then you look like an awesome bride who is polite.  
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    If it was 1 or 2 friends I would let it go but 5...  5 close friends just gave nothing???  Were they in the wedding party?  Did they travel from far away to attend?

    FI was in a wedding and all of us couples gave cash to go into a card from all the groosman- in that case, had they have not gotten our card it would have seemed as though their closests friends didnt give anything.

    Its a hard call but if you have a round about way of asking, friend of a friend kinda thing, I would at least try that.  It would suck if they are too nice to ask why they didnt get a thank you when they did in fact give you something and it truly is lost.
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    That would be really awkward if they actually didn't give you a gift.  There were quite a few close friends and family members who didn't give us gifts, but I would never bring it up with them.  Their presence was worth more than a physial gift.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_good-friends-never-gave-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:815c9748-604b-4f02-9b74-91dddcc65b76Post:5c2cbec1-d479-452a-80ba-600f26f4e4df">Good Friends Never Gave Gift</a>:
    [QUOTE]My wedding was three months ago.   All of our guests had given a gift within a month after the wedding, with the exception of 5 of my husband’s closest friends, which has us perplexed and, honestly, a little hurt.    We have no indication they did not intend to get a gift (all are financially ok and received a gift from us at their wedding) or are planning a large group gift.   <strong>I also know some people think you have 12 months to give a gift, but we don’t think that is the case here.   </strong>The thing we are most concerned about is that they gave us a gift that somehow we did not receive (we have moved a few times), or they simply forgot they hadn’t given a gift (could be likely).   We understand we did not throw a wedding to expect gifts, and we can accept if they consciously decided to not give a gift for some reason.   However if I forgot to give a wedding gift to a good friend, I would appreciate a reminder as I would hate to have lingering feelings hurt the relationship in any way.   Should we approach these friends in some way or just forget about it?
    Posted by Tallulabelle4[/QUOTE]

    You might not think that's the case, but maybe they do.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_good-friends-never-gave-gift?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:815c9748-604b-4f02-9b74-91dddcc65b76Post:8cc1c678-5ef4-4049-a2ae-1b8525c75a8b">Re: Good Friends Never Gave Gift</a>:
    [QUOTE]None of the above.  Send a thank you note for attending the wedding and discuss how much you enjoyed having them there.  If they got you a gift, they'll wonder why you didn't mention it and ask you about it. Then you'll know what happened.  If they forgot, they might feel guilty and get you one.  If they never planned on getting you a gift, then you look like an awesome bride who is polite.  
    Posted by Theresa626[/QUOTE]

    This is what I would do. If they don't respond to it, don't bring it up and let it go. If they did give a gift this would prompt them to ask if you received it.
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    Don't send a note and don't approach them. If they didn't want to give a gift, that's their decision. I have relatives that think their presence is all that's needed, they never buy gifts.
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    Let it go. Are you really going to let something as simple as a gift get in the way of your friendship?  If so, you are a poor friend and don't deserve the gift anyway.
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    Maybe they just didn't buy gifts.  Just because you buy someone a gift for their wedding doesn't mean they are going to reciprocate, and it doesn't mean they aren't a good friend.  Who knows what is going on with them.  But if you bring it up, it could turn ugly and making things really awkward.  Just let it go.
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    Oh My God! We went through our envelopes and were missing a few and one of them was yours. I want to make sure you placed it in the card box; do you think a waiter could have taken it? 


    Aka act like you lost it- and who knows, maybe you did. If you didn't then they SHOULD feel embarrassed. You don't go to a wedding and not give a gift. That's tacky and rude
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    I would only send a thank you note for their attendance at your wedding. 
    "I liked it, so I put a ring on it" - future Mr. Box
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