???

kerenzamarie

i am totally confused.  so, registering at a bank or essentially asking for cash is tacky, but registering and sending everyone a list of exactly what you want is not?  what we really need is money toward a down payment for a house.  how do i ask that if my guests wish to give us a gift, they give us cash only?  it is a destination wedding, so i don't expect everyone flying in to also shell out a monetary gift.  but, hey, who doesn't like a little cash from the family?

mlg78

When people have the audacity to flat out request monetary gifts I typically go out of my way to get them something nice, but not on their registry that certainly isn't monetary (ie - a crystal vase, frame, candlesticks, etc.)... 

NYCMercedes

You don't send people the registry. If they ask, then you just tell them where you are registered. Never send it nor bring it up.

MyNameIsNot

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_untitled-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:881dbadb-cea0-4664-8fe7-6f1a7a63c6f0Post:0f5807ab-5411-43a5-a899-ce7ad2187a9c">???</a>:
[QUOTE]i am totally confused.  so, registering at a bank or essentially asking for cash is tacky, but registering <strong>and sending everyone a list of exactly what you want is not? </strong> what we really need is money toward a down payment for a house.  how do i ask that if my guests wish to give us a gift, they give us cash only?  it is a destination wedding, so i don't expect everyone flying in to also shell out a monetary gift.  but, hey, who doesn't like a little cash from the family?
Posted by kerenzamarie[/QUOTE]

<div>No.  You never send the registry or anything about the registry to anyone.  </div><div>
</div><div>The registry is a guideline list <em>at the store</em> to help guests so that you don't end up with 8 different place settings of dishes and mismatched bedding.  You never mention the registry (out loud or in writing) unless someone directly asks you about it.  </div><div>
</div><div>Your guests are not morons.  They know they can give you money.  If they ask about a registry, it's because they want to get you a physical gift.  </div>

beardownbchs

As PPs have said, you never let anyone know about your registry unless they ask. You can also have your immediate family let people know that you're saving for a home (again - only if they ask). But if you create a small registry or none at all, people are typically more likely to give money. 

OliveOilsMom

If you want your guests to give you cash, just create a small registry.  Upgrade some towels, sheets, and anything else you want to upgrade.  Also, if anyone asks your parents, BP, or yourselves.  You can always say or your family can say "B&G are registered at Macys, but they are also interested in saving money for a house."

allychase

Use the money you get at the wedding for a down payment like anyone else does.

zizibet

The only time it's acceptable to directly tell people about a registry is on shower invitations, since those are gift giving events. Even then, you don't send the list.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_untitled-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:881dbadb-cea0-4664-8fe7-6f1a7a63c6f0Post:0f5807ab-5411-43a5-a899-ce7ad2187a9c">???</a>:
[QUOTE]i am totally confused.  so, registering at a bank or essentially asking for cash is tacky, but registering and sending everyone a list of exactly what you want is not?  what we really need is money toward a down payment for a house.  how do i ask that if my guests wish to give us a gift, they give us cash only?  it is a destination wedding, so i don't expect everyone flying in to also shell out a monetary gift.  but, hey, who doesn't like a little cash from the family?
Posted by kerenzamarie[/QUOTE]
No, registering and sending your guests a list is also rude (not tacky, rude). 

kerenzamarie

ok.  not giving them the list, per se, but telling them where to find said list of things that "if you are willing to shell out money, please buy me this thing i have decided is necessary for us to have since we're getting married."  i don't expect anyone to get us anything for our wedding, but i want to make it clear that if someone gets a wild hair to shower us with gifts, to do it in cash.  how do i do that?

MoxieMickie

Another reason some people don't like to give cash/check/gift cards is they don't want to reveal how much they spent, and they would prefer to buy something on sale that could pass as more expensive.