Halfway through registering and have a question

bridejl

Hello all, I am new to the registry and gifts board (been lurking) so I'll introduce myself quickly! My FI and I got engaged last August and are getting married next August 2012. We are inviting 300 people.

We started registering yesterday and have done two of the three stores- Kohl's and Boston Store. We will be going to BBB early next week. We went with lists and ideas of what to register for where- I thought I was prepared- but it's so much more intimidating in-store.

I have found myself to be very conscious of the prices of the items we registered for, and am feeling a bit self-conscious about it- I feel like most of the items are quite expensive. I feel selfish going into and higher than the $60-$70 range.

So my question is- what is the typical/expected price range of registry items and what is generally accepted as the "average" price range? Also, about the registry size- for 300 people being invited, is there a certain number of items that should be on the registries? I have no idea. TIA!!

Ali092011

Don't feel selfish registering for expensive items! You'd be surprised how generous people will be--lots of people will want to buy you something nice, practical, and/or luxurious that you can use forever (a stand mixer, a juicer, china, etc.) Also, you may have a group of friends or a whole family who would love to all chip in and buy your big-ticket items.

I have heard a few different variations of "rules" for registering. Some say register for twice as many guests, so you would want to register for 600 items. Others say you should register for twice as many invitations as you send out. So if you have 300 guests but are sending out 150 invitations, you would want to register for 300 items. This makes more sense to me because most couples buy only one gift from the two of them.

However, I say forget about all the rules and simply register for what you need! If you're starting from scratch and need everything from refrigerator magnets to washclothes, you may end up with more than 600 individual items. If you've been living together already and already own the basics, you may only find 100 items to register for. Don't register for a certain number of items because you feel like you have to, because whether you're crazy about the items or not, you will likely receive them!

[Deleted User]

I agree with Ali, just register for things you like and you will use. If it makes you feel better, sort your registry by price and see approximately what percent is over $100 or $150. In my mind about 10% is okay--you might feel better with higher or lower than that, but seeing it broken down is helpful.

Don't feel guilty about your registry. People aren't required to use it.

meganb1977

In addition to the possibility that people might go in together on bigger items, they also have the option to get you a gift card or cash in whatever amount they choose for you to put towards registry items you might not have received.  So as pp's suggested I don't think you need to sweat it too much, you're fine using your registry to give ideas of things you really want/need.  If you are concerned about having a few less expensive items on there, you could add some towels and even if you don't need them now, they'll keep for when the towels you're using now get worn out.

Avion22

I also want to point out that a lot of stores have completion discounts -- so anything that your guests DON'T buy you can then buy after the wedding a discount (usually 10-20% depending on the store).

So yeah, register for what you want, and if people don't buy it (or get you cash or gift cards instead) then you can use your completion discount on the remaining items on your registry.

I know you're probalby worried about your friends and family thinking that you're greedy.  I know I was when we went to register!  But as long as you have a bunch of lower-priced items (or register for sets where the pieces can be purchased individually) then you'll be fine.  Kitchen utensils, individual place settings, napkins, towels, etc can all be purchased individually for relatively low price points.  This will give people plenty of options :-)

hoffse

I agree with PPs that you should register for things you want.  I know in my circle we give registry gifts for showers and the wedding, and usually every special occassion that arises between the engagement and the wedding, like birthdays, holidays, etc.  Given that this is the case for my circle, I know that as a guest I like to see longer lists than shorter ones so I feel like i have some options at different price points for each event.  Brides typically don't get their whole registry bought out this way, but it does provide some variety.  I'm shooting for one and a half times the number of guests I have.  I agree that twice as many is probably overkill, but we have a lot of singles on our list.  Also keep in mind that while it's certainly possible somebody will give you a single dishtowel or napkin ring, it's probably unlikely.  People will often buy those sort of things for you in pairs or sets of 4.  Or they might buy all of them if they're particularly inexpensive.  So, for instance, my wine glasses are $6 each and sold separately at C&B - I count those in 4's mentally because $24 is a nice price point and is probably more likely than $12.

As for expensive things, it sounds like you're conscientious enough that you don't need to stress about this.  It really is ok to have a number of things around and over $100.  It varies from circle to circle but in my circle $25-$50 is pretty standard for showers and $100+ is pretty standard for the wedding.  If you have enough lower priced items, then I don't think people will judge you for providing enough higher-end options to give people choices.  And I never EVER judge things like china as long as the pattern is around $200/place setting or less.  Serving pieces are often higher than that but that's just the way of it.  I also don't judge crystal stemware as long as it's under $100/stem or formal, stainless steel flatware that's $100/place setting or less ($500/place setting or less if it's sterling).  You may have a friend or two your age who don't get it, but you will have enough lower-priced items for people like that.  Most adults are very used to seeing many expensive things on registries.

AurorasEnvy

I agree with PPs, don't feel guilty about the price points.  As long as you have a variety of different price points (IE, not everything on your registry is over $100) you'll be fine.  People don't HAVE to buy off the registry, and when I registered for really expensive items I assume that groups of people will either go in on that gift or I won't be receiving it.  I registered for more gifts than we'll probably receive, but better to give people more selection IMO.  We purchased a home last year, so there are simply just a lot of household items we need or need to upgrade.  After the wedding, we'll likely use the 10-20% discount to "complete" our registries.

Seriously, a group of friends got together and we bought a pots/pan set that was over $500 for our friend that got married this past summer.  I have a $1200 furniture piece on my registry not because I think anyone will buy it, but because I plan on purchasing myself with the registry discount after the wedding.

At least in my social circle, it is common my FI and I to spend $100 on a wedding gift, and more if they are particularly close friends.  And that is on top of a gift we'd buy for the shower.  Obviously it depending on your social circle....but I would assume that your guests would probably spend between $50-$150 on each of your gifts.

With our registries, I started them online, registered in store, and then tailored everything online afterwords - to make sure we didn't have duplicates, to make sure we had enough items, to make sure we had a variety of price points (seriously, we had about 4 different toasters between our 3 registries at one point).  Just because you see something you like in the store and add it to your registry doesn't mean you can't take it off later.

bridejl

Thank you so much too all of you for reassuring me! I feel a lot better now about going for the more expensive items. I think I was feeling self-conscious about prices because I am a still-unemployed recent college grad (December) so I am extra conscious of how much everything costs. Thank you again