Registry and Gift Forum

Miserable experience registering at BB&B... Normal?

FI and I went to Bed, Bath, and Beyond last night excited for the experience of registering... and it was absolutely miserable.

They walked us back to the registry area to get set up, which was fine. That whole process, no big deal. Then the associate starts in on fine china and we'll "shop by section"... we informed her MULTIPLE times that we have a small list ( />20 things) that we want to upgrade or that we need, but we are not looking to register for anything pricey. We'll never use fine china... ever... so we see no need to register for it.

She insisted on "the rule of threes" - that we need to register for "at least 3 items per guest, plus more for any showers". We're inviting over 250 people, which means she expected us to register for over 700 items. Umm, no. She also insisted that we couldn't possibly get through the entire store in one trip; that we need at least THREE appointments to register for "everything we need". Again, no.

She walked us through the store, section by section, pulling out her recommendations. If FI or I stopped to look at something, she would sort of shoo us along to her next set of recommendations. I wanted a small hand-mixer... she insisted that I register for a $350+ KitchenAid mixer that I likely will never use, nor do I have room for.

FI and I finally had enough of trying to tell her "no" that we registered for what she picked out and then left the store. We got home and deleted more than half of what we registered for in-store and added a few items from online.

Is this normal protocol for BB&B (or registries in general)? We were looking forward to scanning things and giggling about what we were registering for (he found a "perfect over-easy egg" maker for like $7 that the BB&B lady promptly shooed him away from, so he didn't get to register for it) and just having fun. It was exhausting and miserable to follow this woman around explaining that we don't need a $250 comforter when our cat and dogs sleep on the bed with us every night, and our current $30 comforter is on the floor.

Are we crazy to look for that experience? Or was this just an odd associate/store that we happened to get?
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Re: Miserable experience registering at BB&B... Normal?

  • This was not at all like my experience with BB&B. Our consultant was very helpful, asked us a lot of questions about how we live, how we cool. And when we told her we didn't need something, like fine china since as the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family I get my pick of the heirloom sets, she said OK and moved on. She also left us alone with the scanner in the small kitchen items area while she went to take care of the computerized set up. It was nice getting to do that section without her over our shoulders, but for the most part we really enjoyed her suggestions. I hope your experience improves from now on!
  • That was my experience at BBB until I took the scan gun out of the consultant's hand and told her that she could leave and that I know what I am doing.

    I wanted the fun experience with my fiance.  We finally got it after I got fed up with her and told her to leave.  I told her if I needed help or her opinion on something I would come find her.
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  • egm900egm900 member
    First Comment
    That was not our experience at all.  Our associate signed us up, and asked if needed help or ideas, and we said no, so she sent us along with the scanner and said she would be at the registry desk if we needed anything.  We did BB&B in 2 hours, and I think I have gone online twice to remove/add things.  Sounds like she was trying to get you to register for the expensive stuff, go online and delete it, and then go back to the store and tell them you want to add some things to your registry.  When I've done this at the three places we registered, they just asked if I remembered how to work the scanner and didn't bother me at all.
  • edited May 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_miserable-experience-registering-at-bbb-normal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:b5b0c224-5a57-4679-a870-17669aaf5576Post:b725ce11-eb18-42d0-b328-60a82dec11dc">Re: Miserable experience registering at BB&B... Normal?</a>:
    [QUOTE]That was not our experience at all.  Our associate signed us up, and asked if needed help or ideas, and we said no, so she sent us along with the scanner and said she would be at the registry desk if we needed anything.  We did BB&B in 2 hours, and I think I have gone online twice to remove/add things.  <strong>Sounds like she was trying to get you to register for the expensive stuff</strong>, go online and delete it, and then go back to the store and tell them you want to add some things to your registry.  When I've done this at the three places we registered, they just asked if I remembered how to work the scanner and didn't bother me at all.
    Posted by egm900[/QUOTE]

    The bolded is very much what it felt like - that there was no care for who we were as a couple or what our needs are, but that she saw big guest list as $$$$. We have had many family members who have already been very generous (brand new grill, new lawnmower, our HM flights and hotel, our wedding photographer) and we don't want anyone to feel like we are trying to take advantage, which is how those big ticket items ($70 dish-drying rack, $60 3-pc mixing bowl set, $50-per-plate dinnerware) came across to us, especially when people consider our personalities and how we are... she kept insisting on things for when we "host" people, but didn't seem to understand that it's either the two of us or 30-40 people (FI has a big family LOL), in which case we aren't eating on fine china - we're eating from paper plates and drinking from plastic cups.


    We had to make another "appointment" to come back in and scan more things, but I think I will cancel that and just continue to work online or go in at some point and say that we don't need any assistance. We also are registering elsewhere, so hopefully our experiences then will be better.
  • rlavachrlavach member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    That wasn't my experience either. Honestly, I think you need to be very honest and firm with some of these consultants. Some are trying to push you to do more so they look good. You really have to put your foot down. I went in with my mother and already signed up online so it was fast. I had a list of the categories & items I wanted and the consultant just gave me the gun and shadowed us a few sections away. When I needed her, she was always there within a few seconds. When I was fine, she left us alone. I went to a second store to register for china and the consultant there was just as kind and accomodating. No complaints over here!!

    But, I have see a handful of complaints like yours. Seems like there is always that one pushy consultant out there.
  • Ours was nothing like that at all!  I went in, said our event was in two weeks (because it was) and that my husband couldn't come.  I wanted to add things online at home.  She said no problem, set up the registry, gave me a gift bag and I was out the door.

    I'm sorry it wasn't good for you!
  • We had a GREAT experience at BBB. She set us up, asked if we needed any help, and I said 'Nope' and held up the list FI and I had compiled. Then she gave us the scan gun after a quick lesson and we were on our way. I didn't even see her again until 2 hours later when we returned the gun.
    To be honest, she didn't seem super invested or involved even when setting us up, which was just fine by me. We had an awesome time.
  • AmynutritionAmynutrition member
    First Comment
    edited May 2012
    After reading your story, now I  understand my friend's like 1000 item registry at BB&B.... must of had the same lady helping them set it up with the "rule of 3's."

    It's just poor customer service to not listen to what you and your FI want/need. She's  trying to sell a bunch of stuff.
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  • This is exactly what happened to us.  We even showed her that we had a list yet it did not stop her from doing all of this.  It got to the point that DH informed her that if we so much as saw her on the floor one more time, we were walking out and going somewhere else.
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  • I'm with PPs. It wasn't like that at all for us. I brought my list. We told her which section we wanted to start with. We started with the difficult section first (kitchen area) because we had some questions, but after that FI said "Oh, this may take awhile. I'll just take the scanner and we'll call you if we need you." She said ok and off she went. She checked on us one time after about an hour. Like one of the PPs said, I think you just have to be firm with them. I think you just got a bad one.
  • edited May 2012
    If we decide to go back, I'll try the "we'll find you if we need anything" line. I was glad that FI wanted to get involved (he initially had zero interest) so we were both looking forward to it, and he's completely over the entire registry process now :(

    Hopefully he'll come back around, and hopefully our next experience(s) will be better. Thanks ladies!
  • MyUserName1MyUserName1 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited May 2012
    I'm a raging biitch, so i didn't have an issue with my BBB consultant.  She was super pushy, and I told her politely that we didn't need any help and then proceeded to ignore her when she tried a few times to convince me that we needed random expensive shiit..  I had to tell her half a dozen times that I didn't want the registry cards.
  • kw44932kw44932 member
    First Comment
    OP, our experience was JUST like yours. I was floored. Our appointment was at 11am, and I figured they would show us how to use the gun, give us their standard checklist, and be on our way. I told FI we would be done in an hour and a half at the most since we just wanted a small registry. Our plan was to register and have some fun with the scan gun, then go get a nice lunch.  She took TWO HOURS to walk us through the store. THEN, she gave us the gun.  It was 3pm by the time we were walking out of the store since she still had more things to tell us about at the end!  I was extremely unhappy with how the day went. By the time we got all the way around the store to the bathroom section (our last section to tackle), I was annoyed, hungry, thirsty, and tired. When we got home, we had to delete a bunch of stuff she had talked us into and we caved just to get her to be quiet and move on.

    I have friends who didn't have this experience.  They walked in, picked up their gun, and had a blast.  I'm jealous of them!
  • I work for a different retailer and that "rule of 3" is crap!  We're told to recommend two per guest, to cover shower and wedding, but I usually just tell people to try to do one per guest, but don't overwhelm themselves.  Yes, we do have to have to try to get the registries to be worth a certain amount, but we are also trained to put the customer experience first and not to try to push people to add things they don't want or need, especially since that only leads to people returning stuff which isn't good for us either. 

    I sign people up, ask them what they're thinking they need, how they live, etc and then tailor my store tour to fit what they've told me.  I've gotten my store tour down to about 20 minutes and I don't try to get anyone to scan anything at first, though some do and they have the scanner the whole time.  At the end of the tour, I let them go and explore and just check on them every now and then.  I also respect their wishes if they say they're familiar enough with the store and don't want the tour.

    I've heard good and bad things about BB&B, other stores too (even ours) and I think it just depends on the consultant.
  • We did not have that kind of experience at BBB, although we created our registry online beforehand, and our local store did not have a large registry section.  We just got the scanner and walked around the store ourselves (the man that helped us said to just let him know if we had questions).  I have heard of other people having bad experiences, but never in the detail that you're describing.  She actually steered you away from items you and your FI were looking at and wanted to add?  

    I would write a letter to the manager.  While I try to be tolerant if a salesperson is having a bad day, etc., this just sounds like poor training that the manager should know about.  I wouldn't make it an angry letter, just a "this was our experience, and while some couples may find the guidance helpful, the sales associates should be more sensitive to the needs of individual couples."  
  • When I registered at BBB the guy took us around and explained certain items to us that we wanted to register for and then let us loose iwth the scanner. It did take 2 1/2 hours though and we only have like 50 things on that registry. 
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  • music11music11 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Our experience at BB&B was fine, our consultant answered a few questions we had about cookware and knives, and then left us alone to do our own thing.
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  • hoffsehoffse member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    I think we had the same consultant, OP.  Ours was rather pushy and he hovered.  Luckilly when he told me about the china, I was like, "I already have it."  Only semi-true (I don't have serving pieces yet), but it got him off my back.  I had to tell him the same thing about crystal.

    I was really bummed because he didn't let us use the scan gun.  FI wanted to try it, and that's the whole reason we went to BBB - so FI would get into it.  No dice.

    We ended up going to Macys, and they let us use the scan gun, and FI got to play with it.  The consultants didn't even ask us about our lifestyles.  It was awesome.
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  • When they told me the rule of three, I looked the lady square in the face and said "yeah but I'm registered at other stores too, so it's covered". She left me alone after that. (to be clear, I probably have not even registered for one thing per person but just was trying to get the point across that I know their game) I started my bbb registry online and said I just popped in to print the registry and check the quality and availability of some of the items, so she just gave me s scanner and let me go after my comment.
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  • wow, that was my experience exactly!!

    I think that they probably have a script and my girl didn't even care to appear enthusiastic. she put me on the spot for the stupid china... I mean, come on, I can't make such a decision in 5 seconds. Besides they offer to scan it for you. When I asked her how much was it, she told me $70, my BM had the smarts to ask her if it is for a place setting or the whole thing. and only then she told me it is per setting. I just felt like they're trying to make money of my guests. I kept telling her that I need to take my time and think things over.
    What pushed me over the edge was that same thing with the KitchenAid stand mixer. The thing is, I even want a stand mixer, but I didn't want to register for one that pricey (target has them for 50$ less as well, if you care). When I asked her to tell me more about the other brands of stand mixers, she kind of got stunned, stumbled over her words for a second and then told me that they are not worth it. that KitchenAid is way better. And while it might be, I would have at least liked to know my options. So I took the gun from her and sent her off. I felt like the service there was done off a script and they may even have deals with certain manufacturers to push their products forward.
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  • needless to say I didn't get the china or the mixer ha!
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  • frantastic12frantastic12 member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited May 2012

    Ours was a little pushy.  I think he got the hint when I shot down his first few suggestions.  He started talking about registering for china for holiday entertaining, and my response was "I have a big family, so there's no point in registering for 8 or 12 placesettings when we'll have 40 people at Christmas dinner".  He asked what we thought about everyday dishes while we were walking through the store and I said we had some (sort of...we had already registered for some at C&B).  He still went into a 5 min presentation about some dishes, and when he finished, I just said "OK. We already have dishes". 

    I think he got the hint after that.  It seems that being blunt is the best tactic if they're being too pushy. 

    image
  • edited May 2012
    Oh.  The other thing that happened that I must have blocked out temporarily was me actually yelling at her.  I had originally wanted to register for silverware until I saw that it was $400 a setting for the cheapest set.  I told her to forget it and she kept insisting that people would buy it.  I caught her three times putting it on the registry and by the third time I just lost it with her and told her off.
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  • We told our consultant several times that we were not interested in fine china and that we already have enough everyday dinnerware for our household that we don't need more... that didn't stop her from her entire speech about everyday dinnerware. FI was wearing a camo hat and hunting shirt, so she asked if we were "outdoorsy people" - then proceeded to show us plain white plates with a tree branch on it and said she thought we'd LOVE those.

    Umm, no. She wouldn't move on until we registered for 8 settings of it at $50 per setting...

    Thanks again for all of the shared experiences, everyone. I'll be sure that we are more persistent on NOT needing help next time (if there is one).
  • Well... I am now throughly convinced that I won't be going in a BBB for my registry!
  • mcskatcatmcskatcat member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited May 2012
    I've heard this before of BBB - that they have the pushiest sales attendants.  I think at most department stores (we were at Macy's) they will check in on you periodically and maybe say "Hey have you checked out ___?"  But I've heard more than once that BBB attendants literally try to register for you. 

    I don't think much would discourage me from registering from a place I like, but in a case like yours, I would maybe place a call or write an email to the manager to tell her how much you did not enjoy the experience.  Odds are the manager is the one trying to get them to be so
    pushy, so hopefully by sharing that the experience is a turn off they will consider other ways to help brides register.
  • aragx6aragx6 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    That sounds like an awful experience. We registered at Crate and Barrel during a special event they host before the store opens to the public on Sunday mornings. They had breakfast for us that was catered from a nearby restaurant as well as some items they made with their products plus coffee and juice. Then they gave us guns, some information and sent us off on our own. Each department had employees there ready to answer questions and offer advice, but they were all easily shooed away when their help wasn't desired. It was a lot of fun and I recommend it to everyone!
    Lizzie
  • lls31lls31 member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    Wow, we had no problems at all at BB&B.  We went in, they gave us a gun, and we did our own thing.  At the end, the manager loaded our information into their system and suggested that we add more items because we didn't have enough.  I told him that we didn't need anything else and he let it go.

    I'm sure it varies by store.  If we would've ended up in a situation where a consultant walked around with us, I would've told him or her politely that we didn't need assistance.
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  • Not my experience at all. We didn't have a consultant walk around the store with us. Perhaps because two other couples were also registering at the same time? I don't know, but all they did was get us set up, give us the guns and a map of the store and off we went. When we were done, we turned the guns back in. I'm sorry you had a crappy experience.


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  • We intitally set our registry up online.  My FI is in the military and this was the easiest way to do these kinds of things.  We both put things we liked/wanted on there.  My mom went with my one day to help with some of the appliances.  We ahd discussed this together and agreed since neither of us really knew which brands were what this was the best option.  The store that mom and I went to here in VA set us up, printed out what we had already and sent us on our way. Nothing very personal about it.  However when I visited FI we went to BBB in KS and had a wonderful time.  He felt a little out of place as he is not a "classy kinda guy" as he put it.  I was dressed cute and he had on jeans and big old hunting boots and jacket, but thats who he is.  The girl in KS explained to us how she didnt see certain things on our list asked why.  We honestly had not thought of them.  She was newly married herself, less than a year, so she had some really great advice to give us about things they didnt register for and wished they had.  
    So no, I think you just happened upon a bad sales associate.  I cant imagine that that person is still doing the wedding registries.  It should be fun and giggly and enjoyable for you both.  Evn my "not so classy guy" enjoyed himself once he stopped worrying about what others thought of him and took the gun away from me so he could play with it!
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