Things you shouldn't register for...

dlkelly2011

FI and I have lived together for 3 years and have pretty much everything that we need.  We will be registering for a few household items, such as a new set of bath towels that actually match, since ours are all a mix of colors, styles and sizes.  We don't NEED any new pots and pans, but if someone gives them to us as a gift, then we will keep them and donate some of our older ones.  I was also thinking of registering for pasta and spaghetti sauces.  I feel that it's something that I know that we will use spending evenings at home cooking dinner together.  My family feels it is a great idea.  Also, as for the bigger ticket items that people put on registries, there are plenty of people out there that have the money to spend and want to spend it, or, like my family, all the aunts and uncles go in together to purchase a large gift certificate for new furniture for the couple to go and pick out at a later time.  Every guest list is different, so you need to think of your guests and select items that fit.

xtina1211

I don't know...I think registering for some furniture items might be acceptable. Examples - bathroom carts, stands, towers, etc., bakers rack, large wine racks, side tables. Stuff like that - maybe even chairs depending, or outdoor furniture for the porch/patio. A lot of these items aren't super costly and might be something that bridal party or family members might spring for.

CalendarGirl26

I've talked to a lot of people who have been thrilled to contribute to a honeymoon registry.  I think it depends on where you are at in your life.  Mostly your friends and family want to make your day special and they would rather give you something you want or need than to buy you something you'll use once or twice a year.  My FI and I are completely into giving people experiences they would not normally be able to have.  Those also are the things that are most special to us.  Yes, we registered for our honeymoon.  Can we afford one, yes.  Do we have enough household items that we don't need others, for the most part.  So we are giving people options.  I would also caution people not to be so quick to judge what others do.  You never know what life will bring you so be supportive of others!

donjwebster

i am getting married in june of 2011 and i wouldnt expect anyone to buy things that were crazy expensive, we are a couple who have been together for 5 yrs and we are already fairly established in our home.
i have asked people to go to dollar store and get new things to match my kitchen, like new tea towels, dishcloths, oven mitts etc. a new butcher block knife set and a set of new sheets for our bed, other than that we are gonna be thankful to have our family and friends come together and share our special day!!
if people want to give monies or other gifts, thats great and we would be thankful but its not neccessary. we have jobs and can buy our own stuff when we want.
i know i dont have all this extra monies to buy expensive gifts for my friends for their wedding so i dont expect it myself!!
what does a wedding or being married mean to people?, isnt it about being with the one you love and living your life as a couple, i truely believe that and its not what you have been giving that makes your life!!

megandjay

Do you really think it is not noticed all the posts supporting honeymoon registries are fake Knotties? Or it just happens that they all have only 1 post?

mismia411

I don't see anything wrong with the Honeymoon. $100.00 here and there taken off are a huge help!

TinMansGirl456

I will be getting married next August.  This is a second wedding for both of us. We have two houses completely furnished with every thing we need (sometimes 2 or 3 of some items) so I personally do not think registering for a honeymoon is out of the question. 

People most likely give money when the couple already has everything anyway.  According to the honeymoon registry sites I have seen, people can "purchase" a dinner out or a fun event, like rock climbing or snorkeling.  This way instead of just giving money, they are giving a memory!

frogurt814

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_things-shouldnt-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:d70740b0-5741-4ea3-9a1f-4ef75c3cd907Post:67e263f9-a5ab-4666-8094-53f9d1be5062">Re: Things you shouldn't register for...</a>:
[QUOTE]I will be getting married next August.  This is a second wedding for both of us. We have two houses completely furnished with every thing we need (sometimes 2 or 3 of some items) so I personally do not think registering for a honeymoon is out of the question.  People most likely give money when the couple already has everything anyway.  According to the honeymoon registry sites I have seen, people can "purchase" a dinner out or a fun event, like rock climbing or snorkeling.  This way instead of just giving money, they are giving a memory!
Posted by TinMansGirl456[/QUOTE]

Except they are still only giving money.  Say the only thing someone buys off of your honeymoon registry is scuba diving lessons.  Then you and FI decide that instead of scuba diving, you'd like to use the money towards your plane tickets.  Still just money.

frogurt814

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_things-shouldnt-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:d70740b0-5741-4ea3-9a1f-4ef75c3cd907Post:40382cf5-1e4e-4a59-950a-48cfd454f107">Re: Things you shouldn't register for...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Things you shouldn't register for... : <strong>Actually, a honeymonn is NOT a vacation,</strong> especially if the couple has not lived together before. The honeymoon is supposed to serve the purpose of allowing the couple a time to relax after the stress of the wedding and to bond together as a wedded couple. I see absolutely nothing wrong with registering for a honeymoon, especially if the reason you can't afford one yourself if because of the guests you are inviting.
Posted by N.Hamakala[/QUOTE]
What?  It's a vacation in every way possible.

masonwalker

In response to:  Do you really think it is not noticed all the posts supporting honeymoon registries are fake Knotties? Or it just happens that they all have only 1 post?

Real live knottie here... I support honeymoon registries 

ckonidak

I'm surprised that there are so many people willing to criticize what someone thinks they should put on their registry, proper or not. Gifts are not required, if you don't like what's on someone's registry, give them something else or don't give them anything at all. But the choice is yours. Keep in mind, this is a person who thought enough of you to invite you to the biggest day of their life (thus far).

Don't spend your time putting someone else down for what they believe they need or want.

bionicears

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_things-shouldnt-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:d70740b0-5741-4ea3-9a1f-4ef75c3cd907Post:3fdb4765-e0a5-49f3-9cab-2ba0e75358ef">Re: Things you shouldn't register for...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Things you shouldn't register for... : If you can't afford a vacation than you don't take one, which is all a honeymoon really is. I cannot afford a honeymoon so I won't be going on one, I also have been on my own and have "pots and pans" but you could always upgrade some items or not register at all. You could also cut back in other areas in order to afford both w/o cutting the guest list. A cake and punch reception is very affordable.
Posted by mgietler76[/QUOTE]

Wow.  Judgmental, much?  it's the Bride & Groom's day.  Let them register for whatever strikes their fancy.  It's not like they're holding a gun to your head making you purchase them.  Sometimes a gift out of the heart that's not on the registry is very appreciated.

ckonidak

The debate over this will always go on, but if it makes you feel any better, here's what TK had to say... Check out #3....

http://wedding.theknot.com/wedding-planning/planning-a-wedding/articles/the-new-wedding-rules.aspx

tcellsworth

wow, people are being super snotty and judgemental on here! i dont see the problem in giving money or registering for the honeymoon. what do you think theyre doing when they buy a gift? they're spending money! so what's the difference in them giving you the money instead of them buying something really expensive! then you can put the money towards anything you want. in fact, you'd probably save them money because instead of putting a $100 item or something on your registry they can just give you $50 giftcard or cash. it's just like with birthdays, most people now a days give money instead of going out and buying an actual gift. i think it just makes everyone a lil bit happier. and a honeymoon is totally not dumb! that's a very important tradition in a wedding, and being able to go on a memorable one that you dont have to worry about paying for is awesome!

manders6

I think this whole message board is a bit nit picky! If a couple needs furniture and are at a store that enables them to create that sort of registry they should. Guest don't have to stick to the registry. Get them a gift card if the registry offends you so much!

emilymalcolm

I personally feel that items on a registry should be for both bride and groom to use.  I would not find it offensive to see a Wii on a registry because it is a "household" item, however unconventional.  If you find items on a registry are somehow not appropriate or they are too expensive, don't buy them.  I also feel that one shouldn't really register for money; if you already have all the items that make up a household and don't really need things like plates, etc. (which is the position that my FI and I are in), then don't register for much... people should take the hint.  Besides that, the guests at your wedding should most likely be people who are close to you and who would already know that you are short on funds or don't need household items.  Cheers.

emilymalcolm

That being said, I support honeymoon registries.  I don't feel like you're begging for money by registering for a honeymoon.  It is something that both the bride and groom would benefit from, so it sounds reasonable to me, especially if you know that the couple couldn't afford to go on one without help.  It seems like a very nice gift to give someone you love.

ronnyrudy

I think registering for a honeymoon is modern and acceptable. I have been to several weddings that did so; and for each one I did go to their travel agent and add to their honeymoon. I would rather treat the couple to a fireside couples massage on their honeymoon than some kitchenware. I totally disagree that 'If you can't afford a honeymoon don't take one'. A honeymoon is a wonderful bonding experience for the B&G to relax after months of planning.
ps - We will be registering for our own honeymoon.

[Deleted User]

I actually think registering for stocks is a great idea! That way your guests can pay for something that can actually appreciate in value and it is an investment in your future together. By just registering for material items, they may last a few years but they will be forgotten afterwards

flipflopgk

I think everyone needs to remember that each couple is unique and in todays time and age, a registry is not as traditional as it used to be.  Many couples live together before they get married so they have a lot of the items normally put on a registry.  So yes, you're going to get some non-traditional items.  Plus, anyone who's coming to your wedding is probably someone you know, so they won't be surprised by these unusual items. 

In terms of expensive versus not, i think your registry should be a balance of both.  There are going to be people at your wedding from all different walks of life.  Obviously the most important thing is to be appreciative of whatever gift you get. 

With the honeymoon, the other new thing you have to be aware of, is that more and more couples are paying for their wedding.  The tradition of the bride's parents paying for the wedding has gone out the window.  So for couples already paying for their wedding and dealing with the stress of budgeting, a honeymoon is a much needed escape after it's all said and done.  If you're paying for your own wedding, sometimes a honeymoon is just not feasible.  A honeymoon is for the couple.  There's no reason you can't put it as a registry item. 

In conclusion, who are we to judge any of these people's registry?  We don't know their situation, so we should not being saying anything.  Who's to say that if the tables were turned, they wouldn't think your registry was ridiculous?  Just remember, no one has the right to judge anyone.  Respect people's differences and just worry about yourself. 

alndudle

Registering for a honeymoon is TACKY. Part of being an adult and starting a life together also involves being financially responsible, correct? So don't take a honeymoon immediately after the wedding. Save up, and go somewhere awesome later to totally unwind. Asking family and friends to pay for YOUR vacation when people are struggling in a recession is disrespectful and selfish at best.

collegos

I think what some people are failing to remember is that some places offer a discount for anything on your registry that you didn't get for your wedding and gift card rewards for how much money has been spent toward your registry (Macy's).  We are registering for some pretty expensive stuff, but we don't expect our friends to buy it all for us, we plan on buying it for ourselves with our sweet discount/ gift cards.

Also, a $165 butter dish seems nuts, but if it's the only one that matches the china pattern, then the bride doesn't really have a choice. 

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]Registering for a honeymoon is TACKY. Part of being an adult and starting a life together also involves being financially responsible, correct? So don't take a honeymoon immediately after the wedding. Save up, and go somewhere awesome later to totally unwind. Asking family and friends to pay for YOUR vacation when people are struggling in a recession is disrespectful and selfish at best.
Posted by alndudle[/QUOTE]
Hear hear. A honeymoon is not required. You are just as married without one. I'm happy to give a household item that you need, and even an unconventional one (Wii game or a few CDs for a date night in? Sure - and they'll likely get used more than once), money to put away for the future... but asking people to give their money to something that'll be over in a week? In this climate?

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]<strong>I think what some people are failing to remember is that some places offer a discount for anything on your registry that you didn't get for your wedding </strong>and gift card rewards for how much money has been spent toward your registry (Macy's).  We are registering for some pretty expensive stuff, but we don't expect our friends to buy it all for us, we plan on buying it for ourselves with our sweet discount/ gift cards. <strong>Also, a $165 butter dish seems nuts, but if it's the only one that matches the china pattern, then the bride doesn't really have a choice. </strong>
Posted by collegos[/QUOTE]
I did used to scoff at expensive registry items until I learned about this. But even with that, a $165 butter dish does seem nuts - why not just pick one in a neutral color, or one in a same color as part of the regular china pattern?

BCrain20

my friend had a honeymoon registry and it turned out wonderfully.