Second Weddings

Why oh why wont anyone get excited for us

OK I know I'm 38 and he is 41 this is my 2ND marriage and i have been divorced for 8 years with two children from my 1st marriage . Just so ya know since my divorce I never had a live in Boyfriend I never let men meet my children or anything like that until I met my HTD now with the wedding fast approaching my family are not on board at all they like HTB but its just like "whatever " when I talk about the wedding . We started planing the wedding as a destination wedding but then my mom pouted saying she wanted her family to see it and wanted us to get married here so did his mom so we changed our plans and put all are money into a wedding here . I want to share my excitement with a brunch or something with the ladies of the family and talked to my mother about doing this . She told me to register and truth is all of are household items are old and wore out such a dishes pots and pan ..So I did so I ask are you doing a shower mom and she is like its not the same as your 1st wedding ,People dont care ! I am like REALLY ? Why isn't it like my 1st wedding ? I was young and dumb then married a man I shouldn't of now I am older and wiser and this is my life mate I know this and I am 100 times more excited about getting married then I ever was before it makes me so sad that nobody is excited for us :( and if they are not going to get involved why in the world would they insist on a wedding here ? I do not understand in the least what is wrong with these people :( OK I just needed to vent lol hopefully someone will understand my pain lol
Crista the DIY Bride Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Why oh why wont anyone get excited for us

  • OK, please read this with the nicest tone, because I've seen brides get flamed for what you've just written, and the way you've written it. . 

    First, about what you've written:
    No one, but no one, is as excited as you are about your wedding. 

    Yes, you should register, lots of us who are lot older than you (I'm 52, was 48 when I remarried) registered for upgrades or replacement items, or for items we just never had in the house.  

    Now about how you've written:  of and have are two different words.  So are our and are.  And the wall of text is not appreciated, either, it's hard to read.  Grammar and paragraphs are your friend.  Those will make your posts easier to read and you'll get more responses. 

    And now, before you say it, yes, I'm old, I'm remarried and still on the board, and yes, I'm a bitter old hag and you should feel sorry for my husband.  Does that about cover it?
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • Ba ha ha ha ha ... handfast, you crack me up!  You're not all that old.

    Back to the OP ... I don't think anyone will ever be as excited about your wedding as you and your fiance.  And, unfortunately, if your mom doesn't want to throw a shower for you, there is really no way to force her to do it.  So, that's the bad news.

    The good news is that you and your fiance really can have the wonderful wedding you want to have.  And, if you want a ladies-only pre-wedding party, you can host one yourself.  Go ahead and register for gifts, that way, you'll most likely receive items you want and can use.

    So .. now that you've vented, go plan your hen party and have fun!!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_why-oh-why-wont-anyone-get-excited-for-us?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:0d153c3a-c4e8-4776-a6a9-3dbb8cb91100Post:312fc329-07fa-4e6e-80d9-c2a0cc58ea8d">Re: Why oh why wont anyone get excited for us</a>:
    [QUOTE]And now, before you say it, yes, I'm old, I'm remarried and still on the board, and yes, I'm a bitter old hag and you should feel sorry for my husband.  Does that about cover it?
    Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]

    Oh my God, that was the funniest thing I've ever read on any of these boards. :)
    Alison - Too stupid to upload a pic
  • Thank you folks, I'm here all week.  :-) 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • I know it's hard when your family doesn't support you.  I have 3 siblings that refuse to speak to me and both my parents are deceased so the only family I have getting excited are my sister and my kids.  My FI's divorce was ugly, thanks to his ex, and 2 of his grown kids refuse to speak to him and because he was married at 15 and married for 32 years, it's been rather awkward for his entire family.  His daughter, parents, some siblings and a few other members will probably come, but I don't know that "excited" describes any of them.

    I tell you all this to let you know you're not alone out there.  There are plenty of brides dealing with drama or unsupportive family or friends.  You have to live your life for you and your kids and people can either choose to be a part of it or not. 

    Be happy that you've found the one and have the wedding you want to have.
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  • Yes I know my writing was not the best ,I was Venting and on a war path lol .Thanks ladies for all your replies .It is nice to know I am not alone .
    Crista the DIY Bride Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Wow Crista!  A mature response!  I'm not used to that!  :-)   You, grasshopper, are welcome.  And no, you're not alone.  Come on back for more advice. 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
  • Hello Crista, I'm very pleased to see us older ladies assisting one another in what could be a difficult adjustment for all involved.  I'm excited for you and your fiance and family, as well.  Please remember that this is a very exciting time for you and as time approaches you will find more stressful things to concern yourself with. 

    Keep focused and try not worry about the negativety around you, this is a blessed time for you and you should be so excited on the new life that you and all those involved are about to embark on.

    I suggest you seek counseling from your minister and also consider speaking to your mom about how you feel about her minimizing this event in your life.

    I must say your post resembles my own circumstance right now so i try not to discuss it with my mother because it breaks my heart that she is not as excited about this new life as I am, but I think she is remembering her own 2nd marriage and that failure and thus she just can not muster up the excitement that you feel.

    I am so excited for you and for all of ladies who made poor choices in the past and have been blessed ot find that wonderful man who makes us feel new and renewed our faith in marriage. 

    Good luck and I look forward to hearing more about your new venture on love and life.

    Respectfully,Wink

    Liz
    [email protected] 
  • Hi Crista! No, you are not alone. This will be my FI's 3rd marriage and my 2nd. My family is very supportive and excited for us but I get the feeling that his isn't. I feel guilty for inviting his sisters to the shower for some reason - even to the actual wedding because I get the "Been there, done that" feeling from them. So I try my hardest to shrug my shoulders and tell myself it's really ok if they choose not to come.

    Good luck!
  • Thanks everyone for your words of encouragement ,It means a lot .
    On a good note Mom is paying for the cake lol .
    Now I am scared to type becouse of my typos lol  .I might of giving a mature response but it still will keep me from writing long replies for sure . Just saying .
    Crista the DIY Bride Image and video hosting by TinyPic Wedding Countdown Ticker
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