Social Faux Pas?

Skalmstrom

Are there any things that we shouldn't do/have at our wedding seeing it's a second marriage for both of us? We want to celebrate our own way, which seems relatively traditional and similar to most people's first marriages, but we don't want to commit any social faux pas, you know? Any thoughts or tips would be great! Thanks!

right1thistime

There are no big NO-NOs.  Blusher veils are a bit over the top, but one SW bride was told by her Fi that he really wanted the experience of lifting the veil off her face, so - she did it. 

Other than that, nothing that you can't consider.  What are you concerned about?  ~Donna

beautifulmama28

The way I've come to look at it is, its your day, why let anyone else tell you what is and is not acceptable?

I worried about this big time...and it still crosses my thoughts as I continue to plan, but ultimately at the end of the day, FI and I want a day that says *US* not *look at us and our big wedding*

I'm 38, mom of 8, he has 2...we have ten total plus a SIL and a grandbaby lol

I'm wearing a ball gown

and wonder woman chuck taylors underneath

I'm walking down the aisle escorted by my 4 sons, and a family friend is playing the bridal march via electric guitar....in a church LOL (and yes I've already cleared it with the pastor )

We are into rock and roll, we frequent local bands/concerts in our spare time, it is something we love doing as a couple, so thats the deciding factor for us.

I think if nothing else as a second time bride you have a lot of the knowledge that first timers don't necessarily have in terms of confidence in what you do and dont want, so I think it makes sense to play up on that, choose things that mean something to you and FI and make an amazing day you will never forget

Jells2dot0

Agree with pps- all's fair as long as you aren't rude and follow the general guidelines for first weddings. We did almost an exact opposite of our first weddings, but got away without offending anyone

Sue-n-Kevin

Have the wedding you want. There are no faux pas on this board.

Jells2dot0

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_social-faux-pas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:2d875580-f865-49a9-b503-3960ec1e37b5Post:3471ef6e-983a-419c-82b0-649ab48276bb">Re: Social Faux Pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]Please re-think the Chucks underneath.  The wrong shoes ruin an outfit.  Why wear a beautiful dress with gym shoes underneath? That trend, and flip-flops, makes me cringe.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

LMAO

I  also don't understand spending $1K on a pair of Loubs that you can barely walk in, but people do it! :) I went barefoot on the beach, so I guess I have no room to talk!

beautifulmama28

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_social-faux-pas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:35Discussion:2d875580-f865-49a9-b503-3960ec1e37b5Post:3471ef6e-983a-419c-82b0-649ab48276bb">Re: Social Faux Pas?</a>:
[QUOTE]Please re-think the Chucks underneath.  The wrong shoes ruin an outfit.  Why wear a beautiful dress with gym shoes underneath? That trend, and flip-flops, makes me cringe.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>LOL i know people hate it....but my dress is very long and you won't be able to see them.</div><div>
</div><div>Plus i'm tall (5'9) and my FI is 6 foot...when I wear heels I'm as tall as him, and i despise flats (plus they don't stay on my feet) and i won't wear flip flops they hurt my feet LOL.</div><div>I actually love heels, have tons of them, but for pics sake I don't want to look like the amazon bride LOL</div>

antibride2013

I am a second time bride, FI has not been married.  I feel most of the first time wedding things, ie:  showers, registries, big fluffy dress are inappropriate.  I will not be having a shower, a bachelorette party, won't be registering, only inviting 50 people max, only family and close friends, no big 'ol "yeah I blew the till death do us part once before, but hey, who cares!!!" wedding. 

Skalmstrom

In Response to Re: Social Faux Pas?:

Thanks everyone! I had the whole church wedding etc the 1st time, he had city hall and wants a more traditional type thing this time, so we are. I've toyed with the idea of a blue dress, but think I'll probably still go white. But I know I don't want poofy or  a train - and no veil. Got forced into that the 1st time around. He's purchasing a nice new suit. We have traditional rings, too.

We are inviting all of our families and hoping not many will show. Also inviting a bunch of friends and hope all of them will show. We are having both ceremony and reception at a friends house - a lovely, secluded country setting. We will be married by my minister and having a relatively traditional Christian ceremony followed by a wine and dessert reception. We plan to buy and make a bunch of desserts and have already purchased 2 cases of wine.

I know some people will want to have gift ideas so we have registered a bit, but we aren't advertising that. Not expecting a shower, so we'll only tell people we are registered if they specifically ask. No gifts is just fine with us. We also aren't interested in bachelor/bachelorette type outtings but we love wine tastings so are considering a co-ed vineyard hopping with some friends the weekend before - hoping a limo/van for that won't be too expensive.

We are paying for everything 100% so are cutting some corners but in turn, splurging when we want to. No venue fee as it's a friend's house (although we plan to buy them some nice flowering bushes to add to the gardens) and no caterer etc. A girlfriend is doing my hair and makeup, his mom is making our cake (SOOO excited about that!!), only 1 attendant each and not bothering with fancy dresses or anything there. We have 2 flower girls - Easter dresses should be on sale soon, so there's that! But then we are going on an extravagant (for us) honeymoon to a Sandals Resort. Forget the wedding countdown - it's a honeymoon countdown! We are both very overdue for a vacation!

Anyways, my mom has given us a bit of a hardtime about it all ("you're not going to register, are you?" "you're only inviting a couple people, right?" etc) and although we both get that it's OUR wedding, WE are paying for it, and we can do it however we want, we don't want to hit any faux pas. We know we can't please everybody all the time, but...

 

(and seeing it came up in someone's response post - our reasons for divorce were Me: he was cheating and using drugs, Him: she was physically and emotionally abusive to him. We are SO much happier now and can't wait for the rest of our lives!  )

MuppetOverlord

Congrats!

KerisaHarman21

This will be my second wedding and my FH's first wedding, I was married to a very controlling and abusive guy and even though I am worried about committing faux pas since is my second wedding I don't really consider them, had my ex not been abusive or controlling I would still be married, we all have legitimate reasons for getting divorced and even better reasons to get married when we find the "right" one, perhaps you could be a second bride because you are a widow, there are so many different reasons that today second weddings don't really have any faux pas... I say do what you want its your wedding not theirs.

anssett

I'm doing a fluffy dress and blusher veil. Fi asked for the veil. I Didn't care. Also, the wedding is only 10 people so no other ceremony things for us.

jchollaway

I think the old folks... our parents' generation...sometimes don't get it. Like somehow since it's a second marriage, we have given up certain rights? Or it's a big secret, something to be ashamed of, and we should keep it hush-hush?

I think not. We are discarding many traditions because we just arent' interested in following them, and we are old enough now to say so. LOL But if someone wants to indulge, then I say go for it. It's really not about everyone else. It's about the couple.