Registering for Gifts - How do you feel about it?

wcabral

Hello all - second marriage for each of us, and we are putting it together in 7 weeks... October 23rd is the big day!  My mom informs me yesterday that people ARE going to bring a gift and instead of getting items we don't want/need we should register.  I let her know that we weren't expecting gifts, but to her point people will bring a gift to the ceremony.

Should we register even if I'm not expecting/having a shower?  Thanks!

right1thistime

A Resounding YES.  There will be people who wish to shower you with a gift even without a shower, and if you do not register, they will struggle to figure out what the heck to buy a couple who are already well established in a home or homes.  They will buy you picture frames, statues of married bliss, items that match the decor you may be planning to replace and perhaps the chili pepper lamp made famous here on Second Weddings, by a bride who chose not to register and who had no Southwest theme in her home. 

Register for what you would like to receive.  Register for items across the price scale.  Do NOT put registry info in any invitations.  Be sure the people that will get calls (your mother(s), siblings, MOH & BM, children if old enough) know where you are registered.  A registry is not a demand notice, it is a polite way to help people who WANT to buy you a gift choose something that you will treasure.  ~Donna

Sue-n-Kevin

I agree with Donna. Better to get what you want than a bunch of future garage sale items.

MikesAngie

Register!! All the previous posters have it correct - people will give you or send you gifts even if you state no gifts (the gift of your presence is enough) people will still want to give a gift might as well get what you want or need. 

red1115

I *HATE* gift registries - I feel if my guests are going to take time out of their hectic lives and in some cases travel around the world to attend my wedding , they shouldn't feel they have to bring a gift & I have no right to anticipate any.

With that said, it was explained (forcefully!) by my lady friends that the registry is not for our sake, but to make things easier for those of our guests who feel the need (for whatever reason!) to bestow something on us in celebration.  This is the only way I could be at ease with the whole registry process.

Of course, being us - we registered for muffin pans and ammo!

(Oh and I usually give cash when I attend weddings, as it's always appreciated!)

Lisa50

We're not planning to register for gifts.  So, I guess I feel sort of neutral about it.  BUT ... b/c of all the times I've seen urgent pleas from the ladies here on the board to just do it, we may well hit Williams & Sonoma or Crate and Barrel the date we mail the invitations and register for a couple of fun things.

We'll see.  I still lean toward not registering, as does the FI.  299 days to go, so no rush on this.

Lisa50

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_registering-gifts-feel?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:720b5c4a-492d-459f-8ef1-b5e3183ea309Post:525c5c0c-3155-421c-8161-e620e8dd957c">Re: Registering for Gifts - How do you feel about it?</a>:
[QUOTE]REGISTER. Please, for your sake. I didn't, because this was my third wedding (widowed once, divorced once) and. Register, or risk The Chili Pepper Lamp.
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

LOL!  The Chili Pepper lamp ... still love it, and still think of the Leg Lamp from <em>A Christmas Story</em>.

kimp67

we weren't going to register, but after reading this we just might.  But here's a question,,,,,what exactly do you register FOR when you're already established & have a house full of stuff already?

AbbeyS2011

kimp - you register for something you have really wanted (espresso maker) or an upgrade (replacement for Grandma's crock pot).  That is what we are doing.  We like to camp so I think we will be registering for some camping equipment.


All this talk of registering and "white elephants in the closet" remind me of an episode of the show "Cheers".  Woody is getting married and some couples who were married were sitting around talking about what they brought for gifts - one couple says they brought Star Trek steak knives - Fraiser gets upset and says - that was the gift we gave you!   Then he  turns to his wife and asks, I forget, who gave them to us for our wedding?  LOL

prusgirl

Do an ONLINE registry!!!

They even have them for honeymoons, gift cards and it's so much easier on people.

jerseydevil

Definitely register. Surely there's something in your house that needs upgrading or some kitchen gadgets that you wouldn't buy for yourself that you could register for. Just make sure to give a variety of price ranges.

[Deleted User]

I'm not sure of the mechanics, but I read somewhere you can "register" for guests to make a contribution to a charity of your choice.  I'm like everyone else in this group.  If I don't have it, chances are very good, I don't want it so I would much rather people donate the money to save a polar bear or something else more worthwhile than giving me a silver candle snuffer that I don't want or need.