yes-I'm, "another one of those"

Missylaneous

I really wish there was a vowel renewals page. I am not planning a second wedding or a big bash. I married my best friend 4 years ago and I'm not looking for a grand affair. That said, I have a question and I would appreciate input.

I didn't have the wedding of my dreams. I know, boo hoo for me. Don't worry, I already know "sh** happens." Amongst the whirlwind of my mother dying, my grandmother dying, my father attempting suicide, my becoming legal gaurdian of my little sister, and my father in law dying---I had a wedding. Sounds spectacular, no? I had a real healthcare myself and ended up in the hospital before the wedding. I was blessed with lovely bruises all over my body for my big day.

This isn't about my sob story, wanting a wedding bash, or my real b*tch with cancer for taking everyone I care about.

I would like to do a vowel renewal for my 5 year next year on May 19th (extremely small--maybe a few family members--maybe not, no gifts, etc.). We wanted to make it an intimate affair between the two of us that: "hey, we've been together since we were 15 years old. We've had a lot of really crappy years but we love each other and we're going to make it and thanks for being my rock through all of this pain and hardship. *mwah* " We'd like to use that as a kickoff point to try for a baby.

If you sat through all this drivel (thanks and sorry at the same time) my question is this: is it appropriate to have formal photographs? I have no photos of my wedding. And I'd like to have photos taken on that day that I can actually frame and show to my future unborn children. I doubt I'll wear an elaborate dress.
Should I not wear anything "wedding-y"...my wedding dress was ivory. I do not want to wear it. I was thinking maybe a cocktail dress or something simple and vintage. No reception--just dinner or something.

Does anyone have any input on photography and clothing?

clarestone

Go ahead and get those photos. You deserve them. A non-bridal dress, perhaps in your favorite color, is perfect. Try renttherunway.com for some great options. It sounds like you've got a good head on your shoulders as far as etiquette goes. My guess is you will want to have captured the memories, this time around. Best of luck. 

shytownkelly

I agree - with what you are planning (by the way it is a Vow Renewal - not Vowel), a photographer would be fine.  If you have some family & friends there it would be great to get a group shot as well.

Good luck to you - you've been thru a lot in a very short amount of time. 

right1thistime

See, I can get behind you on this.  I think the first reason is that you are not telling us that you are entitled to something more.  So, you are NOT one of those. 

A simple, elegant celebration of your commitment to each other, where you host some friends & family to share your joy-- that sounds lovely.  Having photos taken is fine.  Wear a lovely dress that makes you feel beautiful. 

I will admit that you set me back a bit when you said that this would be the kickoff to TTC.  I think that part is best kept between the two of you.  (MY brain went to a cake with "Missy & Mr are gonna be doing it", and the DJ inviting folks to come up and share their favorite baby making positions.) 

Were you joking with vowel renewal?  ~Donna

Missylaneous

Right1: yes I was joking with vowel renewal lol. I am not telling anyone that we are going to TTC. It is a little secret between us. I am going to have complications so I don't want to tell anyone until I make sure my health is in order. I mentioned it in my post because I wanted to show that it is significant for us to recommit to one another and move on from our tragic past and transition into the future we have been trying to build for one another. We would use it as an oppurtunity to thank the family and friends that have been there for us over the years.

You are right, I am not entitled to something more. I truly don't want more. I am just grateful that in the tornado that ripped through our lives my husband and I are still standing. I'm only 25 and I'm ready to let myself be happy :-)

Thanks for the input ladies.

handfast4me

I'm sorry for all your loss, and just wanted to tell you that my daugher is the same age as you are, and she's been through some stuff too.  She got married a couple of years ago, and they have one child. 

Ok, all that aside, there are bunches of dresses to look at on Etsy--if you're larger than a size 6, though, it's hard to find a vintage dress.  The women were tiny then!  Or you could have a seamstress make you one--which is what I did for my first wedding (1985) , when I wore a tea-length satin 40's inspired dress.  Also, David'd has some "special occasion" dresses that can be OK, that's what I wore for my second wedding, and it was under $200, a Greek-inspired sheeth. 

For the photographer, check on your local board. we're an international board, so unless there happens to be a woman or two from that area, we won't be able to be of much help. 

Avion22

Girl, after what you guys have been through, you should go for it!  

I think what you have planned sounds lovely.  Whether you choose to share it with friends and family or not is up to you. Either way it will be great. 

Definitely take photos!  You can wear a white/ivory/champagne dress if you want -- there are a lot of styles that aren't too "bridal" but are still really classy and beautiful.  Think Pippa Middleton.  Check out some bridesmaid dresses in white/ivory/champagne.  Also, if you're looking to spend a little more, a lot of bridal designers have bridal gowns that are simple and not as elaborate.  JCrew has some good stuff.  

Missylaneous

Thanks for all the kind words! I would love something simple and tasteful (yet elegant in its own right). 40s/50s inspired would be right up my alley. Sometimes I do my hair in victory rolls or pin curls. I am over a size 6 (but also working on my fitness!) so I will be using this oppurtunity to check out options. I'm from Delaware. No one is from Delaware. Well except for Joe Biden and Christine O'Donnell (haha). So I will be lurking the Delaware boards for a photographer. :-)

I want it to be intimate and tasteful. I wanted an October wedding as I adore the fall. But DH wanted to get married the same month as our "dating" anniversary. It was a record high on our wedding day in May and I felt like the great white sweaty whale. So I would go for something in the afternoon.

I am slightly worried about people who may feel snubbed if they aren't invited. I'm not going for a wild affair. My Dad didn't walk me down the aisle. But I won't even have an aisle (nor would I walk one again.) though I will give him the oppurtunity to be there.

right1thistime

I think 2D Bride is from Delaware. ~Donna

Missylaneous

finding another possible Delawarean on a national board is an exciting find!

avk&jdb

I second Etsy. They have some great options for good prices and a lot of them will customize for you. I don't know how your social circle is but I think if you just have very close family and friends they should understand that you didn't want to make a big production of it. My parents did this and took pictures 10 years into their marriage. They married at the courthouse when my sister and I were 3 and 1yrs and there were no pictures, so we loved having the pictures from their renewal in our house.

Missylaneous

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_yes-im-another-one-of-those?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:830ee568-5925-477a-bf1a-976320591bc7Post:71d4f6e4-8de9-483a-b737-ac397d1aac3b">Re: yes-I'm, "another one of those"</a>:
[QUOTE]I second Etsy. They have some great options for good prices and a lot of them will customize for you. I don't know how your social circle is but I think if you just have very close family and friends they should understand that you didn't want to make a big production of it. My parents did this and took pictures 10 years into their marriage. They married at the courthouse when my sister and I were 3 and 1yrs and there were no pictures, so we loved having the pictures from their renewal in our house.
Posted by avk&jdb[/QUOTE]
Thank you! :)

2dBride

right1thistime:  Nope, I'm from Maryland.  And of course, things were complicated by the fact that our actual wedding was in Massachusetts.

right1thistime

@ 2D -Wasn't it you that was hanging out in Rehobeth, DE which I thought was Rehobeth, MA?  ~Donna

lindaloulubbock

Lots and lots of luck to you going forward!  I think what you are envisioning sounds lovely.

MikesAngie

Enjoy your vow renewal!!  What you have planned sounds lovely and meaningful.  

renjon7798

YES!!!  You get it!!!  God Bless you and your husband for all you have been through and my thoughts and prayers for all you have endured and triumphed over! 

Welcome to this board and we will be more than honored to help you plan your vow renewal!