I just recently got divorced. Right after my exhusband asked for a divorce, I reunited with an old classmate. We've been dating ever since. He can't wait to marry me, and I'm a little nervous about the whole thing again. I know him better them I knew my ex, and he knows me better then I know myself. How long should I wait before I get married again? Am I wrong for thinking about doing it again so soon?
Re: How long?
I started dating my fiance 2 years after I separated from my ex, but my divorce wasn't final at that point. It took a LONG time to go through.
We were dating about 9 years before we started talking about getting married, took another while to get engaged, and we've been engaged for 2 1/2 years - getting married in August.
I think everyone has to set their own time schedule for what makes sense.
RSVP Date 07/20/10
So that's my story. Now on to yours. I would think that you're the only one that can tell if this is right or not. However, I would worry that you're on the rebound. And my experience (myself, and seeing others) is that most women need a bit of time to figure out who they are, what they want, etc. before making another commitment. It's very easy for us, in this culture, to lose ourselves in our relationships. This is especially true in the case of abuse (which I hope is not the case here).
Further, unless you're sure you know already, it might be a good idea to take some time to figure out what went wrong in the last relationship. I jokingly have said that I won't repeat the same mistakes. Instead, I'm going to make a new set of mistakes. :-)
I might wait, but I wasn't in any big hurry--I was in my late 40s, didn't want any more children, etc. But it all comes down to your decision, and your life.
Having said that, if there are biological clocks ticking for kids, you'd want to take that into account.
Welcome and good luck.
Good luck, Congratulations and welcome!
??? TTCAL Buddies w/ BabyTrippin & CashewsMommy ???
1st BFP = m/c 4.21.08 @ 7W5D (and divorce)
TTC #1 since 6.10
SA #1=Agglutination SA #2= Everything perfect
HSG= All clear & perfect
Currently learning to live Child Free
?My NTNP Chart! ?My Blog!?
CLICK to give care & food to animals in need -
?Big Girls have babies too!?
??Success/pregnant after everything welcome - FHs need not apply??
We were high school sweethearts and best friends until we lost touch when we were 21. Seventeen years later we started exchanging benign emails. In 2008 both our marriages ended around the same time; his xW was having a long distance affair, my xH went nuts and asked for a divorce 20 times in less than three months.
Only you know your heart, and how you feel and whether or not you have found your center ground and really know yourself. There are no hardfast rules about timing.
I rushed into dating a few people about a year after we separated, I was so ill-prepared it was ridiculous. I had no idea how to be in a casual relationship. When I re-met now-FI (I have known him since we were kids). We were long-distance for the first while and he was on the phone with me the day that I signed my final divorce papers - nearly two years after being separated. The long-distance was good for us but once we were together more frequently, I had no doubts that he was the one for me and would have married him a few months into our relationship without hesitation.
I was separated from my soon to be ex not even a month when I met my current boyfriend (soon to be fiance). We clicked right off the bat and I know that it's right. I even took him to my psychologist (yeah he went!!! THAT'S a plus in my book!!!!) and afterwards I asked him if it was too soon and he said that he had been seeing me for many years and knew about my relationship with my soon to be ex. He told me from what he had seen and heard, I had been out of love for over two years. I guess I was just doing a good job of faking being in love with him.
Whatever you decide to choose, I wish you nothing but the best of luck!!
Sarah
Do YOU feel ok with it? Does he?
I think there are a lot of us here who were with our fiances, or even engaged, before the final divorce hearing was had. I KNOW how people view me, regarding that, but I also know it's far easier to judge when it's not you in the situation.
Good luck!
I learned a lot from that experience. Mostly that it takes a VERY LONG TIME to really get to know someone, at least one year. Sometimes you never really know them.
My fiance suggested early on that maybe we should "combine" our lives. I told him that was a grand idea, but I don't make any serious decisions about my life until I know you for a full year.
There are a lot of considerations and I wish you all the very best of luck!!!
The mother of an XBF once told me, that you really don't know a person until you've experienced the four seasons with them. Alpha stated it perfectly.
Do what YOU think is right for your life. If it makes you happy and you don't have the guilts do it and live happily ever after