Anyone else way less stressed this time?

MuppetOverlord

2 years ago when FI and I got serious and spoke about marriage, I wanted to elope. I remember my wedding being so stressful... His first wedding though, and over the past 2 years, I've started to really just want those special memories with him too.

The first wedding - I spent 2 years planning every little detail  very meticulously and I was stressed out about it every step of the way, especially the closer it got. I gained 25 lbs in a few months. Granted, I was also doubting that I should marry the guy that whole time.

This time, I was really stressed for a month as we were trying to book a wedding at a lake house but it was way too much work for me and as soon as we booked a venue that went away. All vendors are booked and behind me..and with the exception of FMIL issues...I've been incredibly calm and laid back about everything.  i'm not a laid back person....  I wonder if it's because I've matured or because I'm just happy now. Either way, I'm likin it!

2dBride

I was definitely less stressed for my second wedding!  First off, my first wedding was in the middle of working full-time, going to law school more than three-quarters time, and serving on law review, so time for planning was lacking.  Second, I had all my alcoholic relatives coming the first time, so I knew that I was going to have either drunk or dissatisfied guests.  Third, he wanted all his relatives up to first cousins once removed the first time, while I would have preferred a more intimate ceremony.  And fourth, my ex-husband was very hard of hearing, so music and dancing was out of the question.

The second time, I had far more time for planning, so things weren't as stressed in that regard.  And I got two receptions.  The first, immediately following the ceremony, was an intimate luncheon at which we could afford to provide top-quality food and drink, because there were so few guests (and none of them were the alcoholic relatives).  We scheduled it for two hours, but even with no entertainment besides eating and catching up with each other, it ran for 2.5 and they pretty much had to shovel people out the door at the end.  Three days later, we had the at-home reception, which was an evening reception with music and dancing.

krispi921

I am definitely less stressed the second time around. For one, we are mainly planning and paying for it ourselves, so I don't have to worry as much about family input. That caused a lot of the stress for my first wedding. Plus, I think age and time and life experience bring a different perspective. I want to celebrate and have pretty pictures to look back on afterward, but it really is just one day out of many that we will spend together.

Jells2dot0

Less stress here, too! I really planned my first wedding for everyone but me, which was ridiculous and incredibl stressful. How do you make two sets of divorced parents happy? LOL This time, I planned a wedding with less time and much further from home (we married in Australia!) and it was so stress free and FUN! I think part of it was because this time is was for the right reasons and obviously focused on meeting my needs as opposed to someone else's.

handfast4me

Well, as usual, I'm the outlier.  I wasn't stressed at all the first time--I was so busy planning what my parents wanted, I didn't have any thoughts for myself.  So, it wasn't stressful at all.  This time around, I wasn't stressed that much, except that all the details around my outfit, make up and hair became huge because it was just the two of us, on a beach.  So, that made those details the only ones I had to worry about, and it made them even more important. I never found a dress I loved, and everyone who was here at the time (5 years ago next week!) knows that on the day of, I went to the bank and discovered that someone had cleaned out my bank account through identity theft.  Oh, that was fun! 

MuppetOverlord

OMG! Why does that always happen right when people are about to leave for vacation or something? My coworker had someone come paint his house that he was selling. It was mostly empty except he had a box of loose things that included a box of checkbooks. They stole one of the books, wrote themselves a bunch of checks and cleaned out his bank account. He found out when he was at the airport on his way to Florida trying to buy a magazine. Who steals checks and writes them to themselves? Was easy to find the culprits!

deucedst96

Less stress here too. I'm not all for the planning like the first wedding, so FI and I are getting married in a nice hotel where they do everything! Reception, food, linens, cake...the works. All I had to do was approve what they put together after they showed me pics! Ahhhh! No stress! Good luck!

christal8

Ditto here.  Last time it was all about competing with and impressing friends and family.  This time it's about honoring the occasion of us joining our lives and going forward together.  Like a pp said, not sure whether it's maturity or whether it's just because he is the right one this time, but I feel so excited every time I think about it, no stress at all.  This is how I should have felt before the first one, back when I was young and dumb and had my whole life ahead of me, but I never did.  I don't remember feeling any doubt, but I know I never felt this happy.  And it's wonderful.

Bibliogrrl

Definitely less stress here too! Which is surprising, because I've had some health issues that have made it challenging to do wedding planning, and I've got lots of opnions about style, design, food, you name it. But at the end of the day, I'm so joyous to be marrying this man, that I'm keeping the details in their rightful place. If the flowers (or whatever) aren't perfect... you know what? It doesn't actually matter.

MuppetOverlord

"If the flowers (or whatever) aren't perfect... you know what? It doesn't actually matter."

Exactly!!

sweetdreamz6700

I'm actually much more stressed!!!!
The first go round I was very "whatever" about stuff and did a lot of what both families wanted. Everything became so much more extravegant than I wanted. But I went w/ it.

This time.....I'm stressing. Its sad but I feel like its more important? Does that make sense?

MuppetOverlord

I think however you feel makes sense, so yes! There's no right or wrong way!

Interesting that either way, people indicate a sharp contrast from their first.