Hi! I'm Mel and live in San Francisco. My fianc and I are having our wedding a second for both of us in Philly where his family is in June 2013. My previous wedding was a huge formal affair with the focus and finances on the WEDDING instead of the marriage. He never had a wedding for his first, so we're meeting in the middle at a semi formal small wedding.
The problem is my 'look' is and always has been very classic think Talbots. Aside from different colors, I realize all my choices are so traditional they both a look formal, and b are too similar in look and feel to my first. Even the dresses!
Anyone have this problem? Do you force yourself outside the box to a new style to avoid the same guests having a feeling of dj vu? PS last wedding was 9 yrs ago, so feel free to tell me I'm overreacting!
Re: Intro and help?
Anyway, don't make it too much about what you had last time; even by choosing something just to make it different makes it about that first wedding, if you know what I mean.
Avion has given you some good ideas above, but I think the classics are always the best choices!
First, let me share this, I have never been a big fan of wearing a white dress as a bride (for me). I realize that's counter to societal trends, but that's how I've felt since the second grade, when I made my first Holy Communion -- poufy white dress, white veil, white shoes, etc. I swore that would be the last time I would parade down the aisle of a Church in a white dress. And, it was.
For my first wedding, I wore a custom-made light pink, off-the-shoulder, floor length gown ... think elegant, sleek. For my second wedding, I wore an off the rack floor length dusk blue gown, layers, flowy and very feminine.
So, I guess my suggestion is to throw away all social constructs of what a bride "should" wear. How to you want to feel? What is your favorite color? What's the mood/tone you want to set for the wedding and reception? Open your mind to all possibilities and then go to your favorite stores with those questions answered ... find a personal shopper and see what happens.
Good luck!
P.S. My shoes were custom made pumps, floral print snake skin. Yeah, definitely spent more on the shoes than the dress. LOL!
I had the big, traditional dress/church wedding for my first and it wasn't what I wanted, but it was easier than rocking the boat. In the years that have passed since then, I've always regretted not taking a stand.
The wedding that my FI and I are planning now is one that we BOTH want. Sure, we're listening to opinions and incorporating them if we like, but our wedding is going to be a reflection of who we are.
Avion has some great suggestions. I'd add that your choice of venue would make it different as well. The type of ceremony could also be entirely different, but still classic. While I haven't finalized my dress (don't even know where to start there - lol), I know that the men will wear suits not tuxes and the girls will wear knee length dresses. I'm thinking that I'll wear something tea length myself.
Classics never go out of style, and if you go with something out of character, you likely won't feel comfortable, IMO.
I think you need to be true to yourself and the vision your fiance fell in love with. If you love classics, then go that route. Everyone above explained why this is different/can be different than your first marriage.
Choose a style you love in a color you love, and get input from your fiance. Mine didn't care what I wore, LOL.
Good luck. Looking forward to hearing all about your choices and wedding plans.