Moms and Maids

Re: MOB Story

  • I"m sorry... I started to read this, but it is so long... Can I get a condensed version?
    Praying for a miracle!
  • Alright I started to read this and then had to scan through it, but it sounds like your Mother is similar to mine. This is how I deal with my Mother, I don't cater to her ups and downs. She was mad because my Uncles walking me down the isle, FI and I don't drop everything for her, and she does not want to dress up for 1 day she wants to wear jeans and a tshirt, and Ect... Ect... Ect...... Then she tryed to say she just isn't going to go bc our family and everyone are against her and I don't really need her bc I have everyone else...... So I nicely called her bluff. I said, you know Mom I'll miss you but you're an adult so what ever you think. The next day she bought her dress and she's been mostly pleasent ever since. Don't know if that helps or not. Good luck.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • zaralinzaralin member
    10 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited October 2012
    LauraFrank, as you know from visiting my MOB regret thread, I have had crazy emotions regarding my daughter's wedding.  There are many emotions and then some that the mother of the bride goes through.  Unfortunately your mom is taking your wedding plans as a personal insult.  From your description of her, she sounds like she may even have narcissistic personality disorder.  If that's the case, she doesn't even realize she has a problem or is creating such a hardship for you.  After all, it's all about her! 

    You are going to have to divorce yourself from your mom's feelings and emotions and have the wedding of YOUR dreams.  No matter how she feels, this is your wedding.  Believe me, I have to repeat this as a mantra regarding my own daughter's wedding.  Don't exhaust yourself trying to fix everything for everyone else.

    It's ashame your mom cannot appreciate the beautiful symbolism present at a Jewish wedding.  I am not Jewish but love many of the Jewish customs and traditions.  Maybe at some point you can explain what a chuppah is and about the ketubah.  Maybe she will be able to appreciate and embrace the beautiful and rich meaning a Jewish wedding comprises. 

    I will think of you and say a prayer that all goes well.     
  • If you are paying for your own wedding, you should stop defending and explaining every single decision you make. Give your mom the necessary information - time, date, place of the ceremony, reception, RD -  and move on to the next step.

    Good luck.
                       
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