soon to be sister in law

luvpoobear

My Fiancés parents have very boldly brought up how his older sister should be one of my bridesmaids. I still have 2 and half years to go until the wedding but I have asked all of my other bridesmaids and my MOH, they do not know that. It is now awkward because they want me to ask her now but they get upset when we talk about wedding stuff or pay for stuff now (although I have already saved about 3000) They sat down to talk to my fiancé about me asking her to be a bridesmaid and how I need to make up my mind soon. I feel it’s awkward to ask her the very few times I see her. How should I go about this?P.s. she wasn’t very happy when we became engaged because she is older and still not married 

sister2groom

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_soon-sister-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:62aef219-5046-4b5b-be5d-dbaf6d4e2e04Post:7482b15b-7695-417c-881e-09f98e5bc5fb">soon to be sister in law</a>:
[QUOTE]My Fiancés parents have very boldly brought up how his older sister should be one of my bridesmaids. I still have 2 and half years to go until the wedding but I have asked all of my other bridesmaids and my MOH, they do not know that. It is now awkward because they want me to ask her now but they get upset when we talk about wedding stuff or pay for stuff now (although I have already saved about 3000) They sat down to talk to my fiancé about me asking her to be a bridesmaid and how I need to make up my mind soon. I feel it’s awkward to ask her the very few times I see her. How should I go about this? P.s. she wasn’t very happy when we became engaged because she is older and still not married  
Posted by luvpoobear[/QUOTE]<div>
Let your fiance deal with them and try to not let it bother you. When it gets closer, discuss it with your fiance and see how you both feel about her being in the wedding party.</div>

BinxRose

Whoa. First, please don't ever use that font/size again. Really hard to read.

Second, you should not have asked anyone to be in your wedding party yet. Two and a half years is really far away, and relationships change.

That being said, for now you can tell them exactly that: it's still 2 1/2 years away and you have not made any decisions yet (provided you don't get caught in the lie). Who knows, maybe you will change your mind two years from now. And when the time comes, if you still don't want her to be in the wedding, just let them know you've made your decision.

prettyfacegal

I would ask everyone a year out. Throw your future sister in law in the bridal party. If you ask her...and she refuses...you have done your part. Also, if the in laws are not contributing toward the wedding...they should have no say so....It sounds like  you are very independent.

prettyfacegal

I would ask everyone a year out. Throw your future sister in law in the bridal party. If you ask her...and she refuses...you have done your part. Also, if the in laws are not contributing toward the wedding...they should have no say so....It sounds like  you are very independent.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_soon-sister-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:62aef219-5046-4b5b-be5d-dbaf6d4e2e04Post:7482b15b-7695-417c-881e-09f98e5bc5fb">soon to be sister in law</a>:
[QUOTE]My Fiancés parents have very boldly brought up how his older sister should be one of my bridesmaids. I still have 2 and half years to go until the wedding but I have asked all of my other bridesmaids and my MOH, they do not know that. It is now awkward because they want me to ask her now but they get upset when we talk about wedding stuff or pay for stuff now (although I have already saved about 3000) They sat down to talk to my fiancé about me asking her to be a bridesmaid and how I need to make up my mind soon. I feel it’s awkward to ask her the very few times I see her. How should I go about this? P.s. she wasn’t very happy when we became engaged because she is older and still not married  
Posted by luvpoobear[/QUOTE]
Good god, this is hard to read.  Please write in the normal font in the future.

Muffin'sMom

You are going to be related to these people til death do you part.  So you add a bridesmaid...who will it hurt? 

Beads921

Why are you worrying about this? Your wedding isn't for 2.5 years. Choose your WP in 1.5-2 years.

And, for the sake of maintaining good family relationships, you should probably consider including her when the time comes. See how your FI feels about it.

FaithCaitlin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_soon-sister-law?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:62aef219-5046-4b5b-be5d-dbaf6d4e2e04Post:ab2cce2d-1c79-458c-845f-5ed6d3437899">Re: soon to be sister in law</a>:
[QUOTE]"Thank you, but I've selected my wedding party.  She hasn't mentioned it to me, so I think you are the only ones who are upset. Fiance can have her stand on his side if he wishes, since she's his sister."
Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]
Perfect.

JacklovesSarah

It's ok to be worried about this and it's ok that you already told your bridesmaids who they were. I don't understand why people say "relationships change." If there's a chance for them to change, why would you want them as your bridesmaids? I've known my bridesmaids my entire life, and our relationships have never changed; that's why they're my bridesmaids...

That being said, I've yet to ask my soon to be sister-in-law or my fiance's sister-in-law to be my bridesmaids. I'll ask them after I've picked the venue and settled the date. You don't have to answer to anyone on the bridesmaids subject. They can't make you and you shouldn't let them start controlling you this early on into the soon-to-be marriage. They'll have their entire lives to pick away at you, so don't let them start just yet.