Moms and Maids

She's not even my FMIL

My fiance's dad has been in a relationhip with a woman on and off for many years, longer than my fiance and I. However she is always putting input in on things when not asked. She was telling me where to get maternity clothes, I'm not pregnant, nor are we trying. She wants to sing at our wedding. I don't want anyone singing. She will try to pry and make problems between my fiance and me. The situation is even more complicated because my fiance is friends with her brother. Her brother is in our wedding party. 

I know she shouldn't get to me, but the constant going and going is what wears me down. Her brother won't even let her watch his kids because she's crazy. 

Just needed to rant and rave. I know there isn't anything I can do but be the better person and not let her get to me. 

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Re: She's not even my FMIL

  • Welcome. You sound like you're handling it well.

    It's funny how wedding pressures can come from all over, all levels. I only get them through the moms, but they're getting them from co-workers and relatives and friends, and pass them on to me and my fiance. Sometimes it's kind of funny. Sometimes it's really frustrating.
  • yeah unfortuantely everybody and their brother gives unwanted advice when you're getting married.  good luck!
  • Be prepared with a few lines: 'That's an interesting idea.'  'We've already decided on that.' 'You should save that idea for your own wedding, vow renewal, anniversary party...'  Use one, change the subject.

    The wedding suggestions don't even come close, in comparison, to pregnancy, baby, childrearing suggestions and questions.

    Good luck : )

  • Trust me, all people feel like it's their place to give advice on important life events.  And ironically I'm sure we'll be the people doing this to other brides one day.  Maybe not the requesting to sing part though.  Just take it with a grain of salt and change the subject.  You're handling it very well though!
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  • Thank you I'm trying to handle it well. We limit time at his dads, and he goes by himself a lot. It stinks because I don't have any issues with his dad or his sister, but his dad's girlfriend makes life difficult. I'm sure she thinks I'm quiet and I'm not because my lips are sealed over there, my responses are "Oh, that's nice." "How sweet", and "I'll keep that in mind."
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