Matron of Honor Vent! (long)

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_matron-of-honor-vent-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:72582763-3414-4f38-bc34-fb15b694b65ePost:2de7cc95-4a11-4d70-b1e5-d52e923e2c4b">Re: Matron of Honor Vent! (long)</a>:
[QUOTE]cajita-I think you misunderstood. I am not changing my mind about having her in my wedding party. I am changing my mind about the order I want my girls standing. Initially it was going to be her, then my Maid of Honor. But now I want my Maid of Honor next to me and then her second. Can I change my mind about the order when I told her awhile ago she would be next to me? It's not written in stone. But can I just change the order of how I want them to stand?
Posted by snooks721[/QUOTE]

<div>You told your friend that you wanted  her to be your MOH. At that time she was sole owner of that title.  Now you want to have two and have the other girl stand first.  Your friend flipped out when you initially didn't ask her to be MOH and I don't think she'll take being asked to stand aside very well.  Yes, she will still have the title of Matron of Honor and your guests probably will not notice the difference, but I think it still causes tension and friction.</div>

stefaniewattie

Im going to completely ignore the last 2 pages of comments because well.. you got your answers and only answer the latest question.
Tell them to flip a coin the day of to decide who stands next to you. FI has 2 best men and thats what they're doing, one of them will stand next to him, hold my ring and his vows until he needs them, the other will sign our marriage license. Both will make a speech. FI has a way he would prefer to have them stand, but without hurting feelings, he cant choose, so hes leaving it to chance.
By choosing between the 2 of them, you will hurt feelings, especially if you chose to have your maid of honor instead of matron of honor stand next to you... your FSIL will be offended.
flipping a coin = no hurt feelings, or at least if they are hurt, its not entirely your fault.
For sure though on the day of, splitting up the responsibilities is the best way to go.
And trust me, the only person you will notice standing next to you that day, is your husband.