My fiance and I are getting married on October 20, 2012. We started asking our attendants probably about two months ago. We're only having four on each side. I really wanted my future sister-in-law to be one of my maids (his only sister), but we weren't sure if she'd be up for it because of the financial strain. We had my future MIL test the waters and she seemed receptive. When I finally saw her in person to ask, she told me that she had to talk it over with her husband. I kind of thought she would known at that point what the answer was. I am trying to be understanding because she was pregnant at the time (just had her baby) so I know she is busy. The only problem is that I don't have a lot of girlfirends, and if she pulls out I may have trouble finding a replacement. She is the only person in our main party that we are waiting on, and I haven't been able to ask my personal attendant yet, because I may need her as a maid.
Is it rude of me to put a deadline on an answer? My fiance seems confident that she will say yes and I really want her to, but I am becoming weary that she will change her mind. If I have to ask someone else, I do't want them to know that they were a second choice. Has anyone else had any of these issues before?