FMIL diagnosed with cancer

Cheer204

My FI mom has lung cancer and has been fighting it for two years now. We want to get married next summer and know much could change before then, for better or for worse.

His hometown is out of state, 6 hr drive by car and my parents are the only family we have in our current hometown. I am very close with them and know they have always wanted the wedding here.

Do I have the wedding in my FI hometown out of state or where we currently live? I fear she might get worse and not be able to travel to our wedding if we have it here.

Cheer204

He would like it to be in his hometown in Arkansas and she said she felt relieved when we told her we were thinking of having it there.

MairePoppy

I'm sorry about your FMIL's illness. I know you are torn because you and your parents have always dreamed of having your wedding in your hometown. It's a difficult decision to make, but it's really important to your Fi to have his mother at the wedding. IMO, people are more important than places.

Whatever you decide - Best wishes.

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_fmil-diagnosed-cancer?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:7f17da5b-efac-4d14-82bb-41e313708394Post:f332ef7e-fd5c-48dc-bc40-6784d7a84898">Re: FMIL diagnosed with cancer</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry about your FMIL's illness. I know you are torn because you and your parents have always dreamed of having your wedding in your hometown. It's a difficult decision to make, but it's really important to your Fi to have his mother at the wedding. IMO, people are more important than places. Whatever you decide - Best wishes.
Posted by MairePoppy[/QUOTE]

Ditto Maire.  As a mom, I wouldn't want my kids to change their plans.  As a bride I can't imagine not changing my plans so my mom could be there.  Mine passed away when I was little so I know what that is like.

If she is relieved at the thought, she really wants to see her son get married.  If your FI wants to do this, I would go along with it.  This is one day and a wonderful gift to give to him.

If he were to have hard feelings about not being able to get married where his mom can see it, that could cause issues between you.

Get some really good communication going and make the best decision based on the big picture and not just the one day.

buckeyesweetz

I'm so sorry to hear about your FMIL. I answered you on the other board. Good luck with what you decide.

rachelalexsmith

Sorry to hear about that!
If you decide on Arkansas, feel free to PM me. I live in in LR but I went to school in northwest Arkansas, plus we're a small state so I know a lot about different places!

Best of luck to you!

ashlidie

I think it would be the most polite to have it in Arkansas.  Imagine being in her shoes, and having to possibly miss your sons wedding because you are too sick.  That is a very depressing feeling.  She already is going through the pain and worry in survivial and what this illness might take (or even already has taken) from her.  Don't let it take a memorable and happy day watching her son get married.  

It sucks from all aspects, but I think you know the right thing to do.  I would expect that your family will understand.  Maybe have a vow renewal in your hometown in a few years so your family can still celebrate at home, and you can do what you always wanted to.