not sure what to do about BM

lynxbbgirl

Ok, so here is the deal, I have 2 BM and 1 MOH. All of which I love to pieces. They have all said they will help with whatever I need. Which honestly isn't much. The kicker is, my MOH is planning my Bridal Shower (which I know nothiing about) but what I do know is, she keeps trying to talk to the BMs, texts, fb messages and emails and never gets any response. I know they don't have to do any of this, but if someone was asking me questions about a bridal shower I should be part of, I would respond ( and did for my sil, who is one of my BM).

I don't want my MOH to have to do everything by herself, and she won't let me help. I know my mom is helping her some. Is it okay for me to ask the other BMs why they aren't helping/ responsing to simple questions (some have been yes/ no questions)

vicki0508

No.  This is an issue between your MOH and your BMs.  They can settle it amongst themselves.  You should stay out of it.

jagore08

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_not-sure-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ac157d57-db61-40aa-9574-bf5e8ba4aa30Post:d06bb36c-a483-4b5e-9399-19cc48d57d77">not sure what to do about BM</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok, so here is the deal, I have 2 BM and 1 MOH. All of which I love to pieces. They have all said they will help with whatever I need. Which honestly isn't much. The kicker is, <strong>my MOH is planning my Bridal Shower </strong>(which I know nothiing about) but what I do know is, she keeps trying to talk to the BMs, texts, fb messages and emails and never gets any response. <strong>I know they don't have to do any of this</strong>, but if someone was asking me questions about a bridal shower I should be part of, I would respond ( and did for my sil, who is one of my BM). I don't want my MOH to have to do everything by herself, and she won't let me help. I know my mom is helping her some. <strong>Is it okay for me to ask the other BMs why they aren't helping/ responsing to simple questions (some have been yes/ no questions)</strong>
Posted by lynxbbgirl[/QUOTE]
No, you should not say anything to your other BM.  This isn't your business, it's your MOHs.  <div>
</div><div>Your MOH offered to host the shower so it was her responsibility to ask the other BM if they'd like to be involved with the planning process.  Maybe they don't want to plan.  They don't have to just because they're BM and your MOH is planning the party.</div>

peanutty2

While I do think it's rude to just plainly ignore a person who is trying to contact you, you should not be getting involved in this.  If my MOH was complaining to me about not being able to get hold of the other bms I *might* when talking to my friends mention something like "oh MOH said she was gonna email you soon so I gave her your email addy just wanted to let you know" and that would be it.  Them communicating and planning with each other is up to them, not you.

ADTonk

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_not-sure-bm?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ac157d57-db61-40aa-9574-bf5e8ba4aa30Post:bdffde6c-87e1-4eb4-ab3a-3c74df848868">Re: not sure what to do about BM</a>:
[QUOTE]While I do think it's rude to just plainly ignore a person who is trying to contact you, you should not be getting involved in this.  If my MOH was complaining to me about not being able to get hold of the other bms I *might* when talking to my friends mention something like<strong> "oh MOH said she was gonna email you soon so I gave her your email addy just wanted to let you know"</strong> and that would be it.  Them communicating and planning with each other is up to them, not you.
Posted by peanutty2[/QUOTE]

This is about as far as you should take it.  It's not a personal attack like "why aren't you helping?" but it conveys the message that communication is needed.  I would maybe tell MOH that she should just come out and ask each BM if/how they would like to help.