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Moms and Maids
My mom is picking out dresses from the Juniors' Department...
My fiance and I aren't getting married terribly soon, our tentative date is Halloween 2014. We're having a zombie themed wedding.
We haven't formally addressed a dress code because we're still working it out, but what we've 99% decided on is having blood family and older people wear normal wedding clothing and then having a makeup artist "zombie" our friends who aren't in the bridal party. So a mix of the living and the living dead.
My plus sized, (then will be) 53 year old mother has decided she wants to wear a short, lime green dress, with white polka dots.
My fiance and I live in Santa Barbara, California. October isn't terribly cold for us, but we will be on a cliff overlooking the ocean, so it'll be chilly there and the reception is at a different location but still primarily outdoors. So "short" isn't something I would recommend. Especially since she's one of those women who is always cold anyway..
I've been trying to dissuade her gently by emailing her lists of other suggestions, but I have no idea where to find nice plus sized dresses. I also don't know exactly what her size is, my guess would be 18ish?
Any help with MOB dress suggetions? Our "wedding colors" do actually include green, and also black and white and I'll be wearing a pink and black gown. So GREEN isn't a problem. But a little polka dot dress with ruffles is.
halp plz?
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Re: My mom is picking out dresses from the Juniors' Department...
I'm about 75% sure you're trolling, but in case you're not, you can do whatever you want with yourself and your wedding party. You cannot tell your parents what to wear (unless they ask your opinion), you cannot make your guests wear makeup, and if you're worried your reception is going to be uncomfortably cold, you need to find another reception venue, because your guests' comfort is more important than your photo ops.
[QUOTE]My fiance and I aren't getting married terribly soon, our tentative date is Halloween 2014. We're having a zombie themed wedding. We haven't formally addressed a dress code because we're still working it out, but what we've 99% decided on is having blood family and older people wear normal wedding clothing and then having a makeup artist "zombie" our friends who aren't in the bridal party. So a mix of the living and the living dead. My plus sized, (then will be) 53 year old mother has decided she wants to wear a short, lime green dress, with white polka dots. My fiance and I live in Santa Barbara, California. October isn't terribly cold for us, but we will be on a cliff overlooking the ocean, so it'll be chilly there and the reception is at a different location but still primarily outdoors. So "short" isn't something I would recommend. Especially since she's one of those women who is always cold anyway.. I've been trying to dissuade her gently by emailing her lists of other suggestions, but I have no idea where to find nice plus sized dresses. I also don't know exactly what her size is, my guess would be 18ish? Any help with MOB dress suggetions? Our "wedding colors" do actually include green, and also black and white and I'll be wearing a pink and black gown. So GREEN isn't a problem. But a little polka dot dress with ruffles is. halp plz?
Posted by Tuesdizzle[/QUOTE]
I think it's great that you want to spend the next two years worrying about this and harping on a grown woman about her clothing choices. That's an excellent use of your time.
I started looking at MOB dresses as soon as my daughter and FSIL announced their engagement. The dresses I liked 2 years ago are nothing like the dress I chose. So your mom might decide to wear a sequined, leopard printed mini instead of the polka dot dress, or she might choose something... 'warmer.' But it's her choice, not yours, and it's probably the only thing she has total control over, so let her have her fun.
If your mom wants some recommendations for MOB dresses, send her here. I'd be happy to share my favorite sites with her.
And I won't get started on the zombie makeup.
Your Mom can wear whatever the heck she wants because she is a grown woman capable of making her own decisions.
If this is real then the world just got a tad more crazy.
Life is good today.
[QUOTE]H's friend had a zombie wedding, and H was a zombie for it. Of course, she asked if anyone would be willing months ahead of time, but I don't get the idea that the OP is planning on forcing anyone. She knows her crowd. If she wants a zombie wedding, and isn't being rude to anybody, I don't see why anyone should mind, just because it's not a typical wedding theme.
Posted by warpedredpenguin[/QUOTE]
You see, the thing is that her friends and family will probably feel that they have to dress as zombies as to not hurt her feelings. People tend to do things that they don't want for loved ones while completely side-eyeing and b*tching about it the entire time.
OP, like I said in my previous posts, if you want zombies trolling your wedding then hire actors. Do not ask or make anyone or your guests dress up as zombies. Just allow them to come to the wedding in whatever they want to wear and enjoy the entertainment.
On the zombie idea, it is your wedding, but if my friend told me as a guest I was going to be painted up like a zombie I'd be a little weirded out. One thing to suggest it to your wedding party, but to all your guest is taking it a little far... but hey, if they are for it, go for it!
[QUOTE]I agree that while you shouldn't dictate what she wears, I agree you have a right to be concerned if what she was planning on wearing is not flattering on her or will make her stand out in not a good way. I would be as supportive as you can and try to encourage her/help her pick out something that would look nice. But, at the end of the day you can't make her change her mind. <strong>To me, a MOB is a part of the wedding party, considering she does have a role at the wedding and will be in a lot of your pictures</strong>. She may not be a "bridesmaid" but I would hope my mom and FMIL and at least coordinate on some level so they do not drastically stand out from the wedding party. Be as nice as you can and try to help, but don't drive yourself crazy... and on the day her image is a reflection of her not you. And, since you still 2 years, you definitely do not need to stress about this now. On the zombie idea, it is your wedding, but if my friend told me as a guest I was going to be painted up like a zombie I'd be a little weirded out. One thing to suggest it to your wedding party, but to all your guest is taking it a little far... but hey, if they are for it, go for it!
Posted by erinlin25[/QUOTE]
This is where you are wrong. They are not a part of the wedding party. The wedding party consists of the bride, groom, best man, maid of honor, groomsmen, bridesmaids, flower girl and ring bearer. No one else.
If you had readers would you require them to coordinate? They do play a part in the wedding but they aren't part of the wedding party so making them coordinate is rude. Mothers and Fathers are basically VIP guests, and as guests (even VIP ones) they are allowed to wear whatever the heck they want to.
I'm sorry but if my mom picked a color/style dress that would look horrible on her, or look awkward at the wedding I would at least point it out nicely and help persuade her to try something else. It's just an opinion. You have yours, this is mine. and the point was its ok to be concerned at what MOB wears, but can't push it. End of the day whatever they are comfortable in, works. But I know my mom that if I let her where something that didn't look good, she'd look back at pictures for sure and say "why did you let me wear that!?