Moms and Maids

future mil trouble :/

Ok, so for the wedding, both my family and fiances family decided that we don't want to buy/order desserts but everyone can pitch in and bake, since they all love to bake. But then we had a huge dinner thing at my parents house with our families and after church a couple weeks later, fiances mom came to my mom and said, "oh, you guys cook and bake so well! you can bake for the wedding too!" Obviously my mom is NOT ok with that and neither am I. My fiance is the only boy in his family and he's the youngest, so obviously, his sisters should be helping with baking, especially since one of them wants to open a bakery. I understand that they have kids, but so do all of my relatives! 
I mean, I wouldn't have taken her so seriously when I found out that she said this other than for the fact that for her oldest daughters wedding, they didn't help at all either, other than with paying. The other family did all of the work! Not cool. And now I don't know what to do. I mean, I wouldn't really mind if we were having a small wedding, because that would mean less baking, but our wedding is gonna be pretty big and fiance and I are paying for it AND MIL wants it bigger. I am quite frustrated right now :)

Re: future mil trouble :/

  • It's a bummer that your future in-laws [What's a MIH?] renegged on their offer to help with the baking, but it's no one's responsibility but your own to put together the food for your wedding. If you can't DiY, you'll have to pay someone. Sheet cake is OK.
  • lol, oops, i meant mil, (shows how frustrated I am right now). but yeah, guess you're right, not anyones responsibility but mine, even if she DID say (in the beginning) that she and her daughters were gonna bake too.
  • I'm really confused by this whole thing. You should host your guests either way. NO guest should be baking for you. 
  • I'll be honest. We were going to bake our own cupcakes and my FI was going to bake him with his groomsmen. I wasn't "allowed" to be involved lol. Point is, it's his wedding too. You and FI should be baking for your wedding. His fingers work and because he's a boy doesn't mean he shouldn't be doing anything. No one "should obviously" be helping. Also, if you're paying, then you decide size, not her.
  • The last thing that any of you will want to do closer to your wedding day is bake cupcakes.  The week leading up to your wedding can be pretty stressful, so why add to that by having everyone running around baking cupcakes?

    Whether it's family or friends that are helping, they are still your guests and should be treated as such.  Like Eagles said, pick up a cake from a local bakery or even cupcakes if you want them so badly, but please do not have your family/guests baking for you.


  • edited March 2012
    Your FMIL shouldn't have volunteered her daughters to bake. They probably flipped out when they found out that they were expected to help out with their brother's wedding, when no one helped with theirs.

    Your wedding is still a few months away. That's time to figure out how to budget for dessert, by cutting back on something else, such as flowers, favors, number of guests etc... Your wedding = your responsibility.

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