MIL practically in honeymoon suite

pinewee

My soon to be MIL reserved our honeymoon suite and raved abt how she wanted us to have the best. My fiance was supposed to do this but she took over. When I called to pay for the room I found out she also booked a suite for her and her husband right across the hall. She failed to mention this to me. Is this weird or am I just over thinking it? I kinda wanted it to be a private time for my fiance and I.

kmmssg

I'm a MOB and I think it is a bit intrusive and inappropriate.  I also think your FI should thank his mom profusely for her thoughtfulness but tell her you guys would like a bit more privacy.  Can you guys just book a different suite in the hotel?

Did she just take over on this or did FI drag his feet?  Do you think she has really good intentions that just went off a bit?   Is she normally intrusive and unaware of healthy boundaries or is do you think she just didn't this one out very well?

GoodLuckBear14

Wait a minute.  Are you talking about your honeymoon or your wedding night here?  If they're coming on your honeymoon, I'd be putting a stop to that immediately.  If you are talking about your wedding night, I'd let it slide.  Chances are, you are going to be too exhausted to do anything other than put on comfy jammies and sleep.  Anything more than a room with a bed for the wedding night is honestly a waste of money.

MairePoppy

Another MOB, here. I think it's weird. Kmmssg has a point though. Knowing my sons, your fi might have asked his mom to help out. Should she have known that the two of you wanted to be alone? Yes. Cancel your reservations and book a room in another hotel.

JaxInBlue

One of my parents did this - booked the suite next to the one DH and I had for the week around our wedding.  We found out about this ahead of time, called the hotel before we checked in and asked if one of us could be moved to the other end of the floor.  The front desk people at our hotel were super understanding (even offering to not give out our room number) and we put some distance between us. 

We were able to make changes since the hotel rooms were all in our block.  You might be able to talk to the hotel and ask if an adjustment might be made so that there is more space between the room .  If it will make you more comfortable, it would be worthy asking.  It was definitely helpful for DH and I; our hotel room was "home base" for us before our wedding and having some physical and mental space from everyone else helped a lot.

kmmssg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mil-practically-im-honeymoon-suite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:ee5c21a4-094f-4d9f-a6f5-42d31f9cdc38Post:09210844-7014-4616-a7c3-8d887082bfd1">Re: MIL practically im honeymoon suite</a>:
[QUOTE]When daughter was married last summer, she booked the wedding night in the same hotel we were staying.  I asked the hotel (Washington Hilton Conevtion Center) to book her room on the opposit side of ours.  <strong>Maybe they could handle that king of closeness, but her Dad couldn't!
</strong>Posted by CMGr[/QUOTE]

Love that!

pinewee

Thank You all for your input.  Yes she purposely booked the rooms because we are booked so far in advance she basically got a choice of any rooms she wanted.  Yes my FI was dragging his feet a little and that is probably why she took over.  I personally think it's a boundary issue and just seemed odd to me.  I think I will call the hotel and have them move our room to a different floor.  What she doesn't know won't hurt her!

kmmssg

Good plan.  Are you and FI on the same sheet of music here regarding her apparent lack of boundaries?  It is one thing if she just wasn't thinking but entirely another if this was intentional.

Maggie0829

Honestly, I don't see the big deal.

Did she know that the suites were right across from each other?  Did she book it this way purposefully?

I know a lot of  brides and grooms that have a romantic wedding night but many couples also do nothing the night of their wedding.  Many couples are too tired or had a few to many drinks and just go to their rooms and pass out.

I know right now that this may seem like a huge deal but it isn't like you are sharing a suite with his parents and it isn't like the suites are connected by a door and I highly doubt his parents will be standing right outside your door with drinking glasses trying to listen in.

Since you and your FI will be alone in your own room it will be private.  You have to remember that you are in a hotel and no matter what room you are in you could have "neighbors" on either side of you.

skippylouwho

MOG and MOB here - call the hotel and have them change your room location. Tell them they are not to tell ANYONE the room location without your PERSONAL approval.

jemmini6

In principle, it's definitely a little weird that she'd do that on purpose, and that sort of boundary issue should be discussed anyways. (stuff like that doesn't just go away after the wedding, your FI needs to talk to his mom about it)

In practice though, you'll probably not notice.  Hotels, especially nicer ones, are decently soundproofed, especially across the hall, so once you get into your room, put up the "Do Not Disturb" sign and don't worry about it.

I'd still try to move the room if you can based on principle, but if they aren't able to, then I wouldn't worry about it too much.  I'd still have your FI talk to his mom either way about you wanting privacy on your wedding night.

xxstardust

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mil-practically-im-honeymoon-suite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:357Discussion:ee5c21a4-094f-4d9f-a6f5-42d31f9cdc38Post:5acbb864-a1c4-49d2-ba86-e0bc50056d22">Re: MIL practically im honeymoon suite</a>:
[QUOTE]I've rarely heard anyone have sex so loud that it can be heard through two sets of walls and across a hallway over conversation/television/whatever.  If you honestly think that could be the case, I would prepare yourselves to be interruped by hotel security anyway.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

You should meet some of the people I shared floors with in college dorms. ;)

I'm sure the hotel can move you around so you are futher away and have a bit more privacy.

[Deleted User]

Lock the door, hang the "do not disturb sign" and hope the walls aren't paper thin  You don't HAVE to let her bother you, even if she is across the hall.

OBX2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_moms-maids_mil-practically-im-honeymoon-suite?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:357Discussion:ee5c21a4-094f-4d9f-a6f5-42d31f9cdc38Post:b447687d-8b90-4698-8afd-387fd1d9d6aa">MIL practically in honeymoon suite</a>:
[QUOTE]My soon to be MIL reserved our honeymoon suite and raved abt how she wanted us to have the best. My fiance was supposed to do this but she took over. When I called to pay for the room I found out she also booked a suite for her and her husband right across the hall. She failed to mention this to me. Is this weird or am I just over thinking it? I kinda wanted it to be a private time for my fiance and I.
Posted by pinewee[/QUOTE]

Ummmm, that would definitely be weird to me.  I wouldn't want to be anywhere near my family or the IL's on my wedding night.

It <em>should</em>be private time for you and FI and having the MIL across the hall doesn't really seem private at all.  Is there any way out of this??

bunny girl

I agree with GoodLuckBear14. Good plan!!

jessandkaleb

My FI and I are saving ourselves until marriage and I would be MORTIFIED if this happened. I defintitely know we will be intimate on our wedding night and I just think it is personal and something special and I wouldn't want to worry about his mom wanting to come interrrupt or anything. As for my FI and I, we are staying in a completely different hotel from our guests, we just aren't telling anyone!