Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Money Dance?

We are having a hard time deciding on whether or not to do the money dance (or dollar dance) at our reception.  Have you, or are you doing one?  Do guests find this tacky as they are already bringing you gifts?I honestly cannot think of one wedding that I have gone to and seen the couple do the wedding dance, but I have heard from so many people that it is a great source of honeymoon spending cash.  A friend just went to a wedding where the couple got $1200 from it!  Still... I have issues with it. Please tell me your take as a guest, and as the bride and groom!Thanks!

Re: Money Dance?

  • There is another post on here somewhere about this. My opinion is that at my family weddings it is common to see a dollar dance. So I will be doing one at mine. Some people find it tacky... but those that find it tacky then don't have to dance, right! I think it's fun and I will still dance with anyone regardless if they have a dollar or not.
    Missed Miscarriage 3-11-10; Jaxen Lee 3-31-11
  • As a guest I find it tacky If it is traditional in your family and done for reasons of tradition it is much less tacky to teh point of acceptable. If not traditional and done for cash only I think it shows that the bride and groom are crass materilistic money grubbing people who do not care about thie guests
  • I've never seen it NOT done. Doesn't bother me as a guest, if someone doesn't want to then they don't do it.  
  • We're not doing it.  FI had thought about it, but I said no. I don't like the idea of basically asking people for money.
  • If you've never been to a wedding with a dollar dance, that tells me that it's not a tradition in your family.  In that case I definitely wouldn't do it, because I'd guess your f&f  would be confused at best.(I'm of the school that even if it is part of your "tradition" you still don't have to do it, and shouldn't).If you've planned a honeymoon that you can't pay for without a dollar dance, you're  spending beyond your means.  A honeymoon doesn't have to be an expensive trip to be special.Think about it:  you're going to ask your f&f to travel to your wedding;  perhaps take off from work; buy you a gift; perhaps buy new attire; perhaps have to rent a car and/or a hotel room;  and NOW you're going to ask them to finance for your honeymoon by paying to dance with you for 30 seconds?Your wedding should not be a fundraiser.  Your guests should not have to open their wallets for the "privilege" of having some face time with you. When I hear "dollar dance" at a reception, I find myself having to visit the ladies room.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • We have discussed it and both feel it is a bit tacky.  It is actually our friends and some family that is sort of pushing it on us.  We don't need the money by any means, everything has been paid for and we already have our spending cash for the honeymoon.  I have said we feel it's a bit rude since guests are already bringing gifts and spending money to be there, but people insist that guests expect there to be one.I think we will go with our instincts and avoid the money dance!  Thanks everyone!
  • It isn't done in my family and friends and I had never even heard of it until TK.I don't like any "tradition" that asks guests to pull money out of their pockets, let alone for the "honor" of dancing with the bride and groom.  They are your guests, if they want to dance with you, they should be able to do it for free.With that being said, when it is custom or tradition within the family it is often more acceptable and tolerated.  I still don't think it is right, but in circles that have seen it before it isn't viewed as offensive.  But, again, I view anything that takes money out of your guests pockets as tacky.
  • It is very common in both of our families, so we will probably do it. For us it's nice way to spend a special moment with our guests. We were at a wedding a few months ago and the MOH only accepted $5 or more, she actually turned down my FI's brother and cousin! That was totally unacceptable, the bride and groom were not too happy when they found that out. It's called the DOLLAR dance for a reason!
  • You should also consider what your overall wedding goals are and how this fits into it.  For us, our goals are (in no particular order) to have a beautiful, fun, and meaningful day for ourselves; show our wonderful guests a great time; and pull it all off with class. Doing the dollar dance doesn't, in my opinion, fit in with throwing a classy, elegant wedding.  For some cultures, it is a tradition (Filipino, I think...?)  That's understandable, especially if guests know that it's a tradition!  For others, though, I think it's out of place.  You are already asking guests to carve time out of their week to attend; they will bring a gift, and often it's a monetary one; and perhaps they're buying a new outfit, finding a sitter for kids, or booking a hotel room too.  That's a lot.  And the message of "thank you for being here on our special day" gets lost when you ask people to give you money for a brief dance.  Ick... reminds me of a certain bachelor or bachelorette party activity.Some posters have noted that if guests think it's tacky, they don't have to dance.  Really?  Is that how we're approaching weddings now?  With a "get over it" mentality?  I'm not sure that is the high road.  I wouldn't want anyone to attend my wedding and walk away thinking anything was tacky, whether they participated or not.Sorry to be on a soap box, but to me, this is a no brainer.
  • I have been to a few wedding were it was and was not done. As a guest I didn't do it. It kinda put a damper on the wedding b/c if you were not participating, then you had no choice but to sit. I think it kinda kills the wedding sometimes depending on how involved your guests are with it.
  • I have NEVER seen it done at a wedding. In my opinion, I think it is tacky. Only because it is asking people to give your MORE money after they have already gave you a shower gift, wedding gift, and paid to travel to the wedding, etc. It is so uncommon in my family that it isn't even something that crossed our minds.
  • This is done at almost all western PA weddings, so we will be doing it... I could care less about the money.. i just think its really fun to get to spend a little 1:1 time with your guests... Typically there are shots involved as well, so guests don't mind participating... unfortunately, my reception place won't allow that, which will take the fun down a notch....      
  • I don't like the idea of them, but from what I hear, they are perfectly acceptable in in some areas of the country and don't go over well in other parts.  I don't like the idea of expecting people to fork over even more money to us, especially if it's towards a honeymoon. If we can't afford one, we aren't going to expect our guests to pay for it!
  • We did it 10 years ago - it was amazing, everyone stood up at once and lined up.  We made LOTS of cash. I won't be doing it this time around, as everyone will be travelling, and we would feel guilty asking for money, since we are financially stable - especially in this economy.  (not to mention FI looked at me like I had an extra head when I mentioned it...  !)  
  • honestly just do what you want. It's your wedding and YOUR day. And I guess I have a 'get over it' mentality with lots in life. It will be my wedding so WHEN I do my dollar dance if someone thinks it's tacky then it's there own fault for having a bad attitude about it. Lots of people don't dance at weddings period, so sitting for a few more minutes isn't going to hurt anyone. Do what you like whether it's not to do the dollar dance or to have it and have fun with it. Good Luck!
    Missed Miscarriage 3-11-10; Jaxen Lee 3-31-11
  • It's a tradition in both of our families so we will be doing one.  However I hate the idea of using the money for honeymoon spending cash so we will instead be donating the money to a charity that honors FI's cousin that passed away a few years ago.  That way we make our family happy by having the dance and the money goes to a good cause.
  • We got married 6 weeks ago and did not have one. We went to a wedding a few months before ours, and were pretty sure at that time we were not going to have one, for the same reasons other poster mentioned, but that wedding really made us realize we did NOT want it. They had a dollar dance, and most of the females I was sitting with had never met the groom and did not want to participate. They were all sitting there complaining that we had to quit dancing and wait for the very long dollar dance to get over. We knew we did not want our friends and family just sitting and waiting. Even for people that do participate, they wait in line, dance 30 seconds, then wait for it to be over. Tacky!
  • One of the goals of a wedding is to have fun with the guests, so use that as the gauge. I've been to lots of weddings where the f&f were crazy dancers and loved it. Then again I've been to a few where the f&f are more laid back and it didn't work out. Some tips if you do decide to do it (1) do it later in the evening (2) don't let it go on forever (3) Be thankful to your guests.If it fits for you and yours, then it won't be tacky at all. 
  • I truley believe since this is ya'lls day, if ya'll want to have one, have one! If you don't, dont; especially if you are not used to it. In my case, this is something that is seen in every wedding, so it actually seems a bit akward to not have one! I have noticed that it varies in the location/community that you are having your wedding. Where I used to live, it was a big deal, but where I live now, people do not like it. So its really just up to you. I can say that it is fun. You can change up the songs to make it more interesting! From lovey-dovey music to salsa!Have fun with every decision you make, remember this is only for 1 day, make the most of it! :) Good Luck!
  • If you're doing it JUST for the money, then don't do it. If it is a tradition, normal practice or you're doing it to get some one-on-one time with your guests, then go for it. We're thinking of doing one to get one-on-one time and then donating the money to the Cancer Society, a cause close to our heart.
  • My brother just recently got married and they had a dollar dance.  My FI and I love how they did it, so we're going to do ours the same way.  They had it set up as a competition between the bride and the groom, to see which one could get the most people to dance with them.  The DJ handled announcing it really well, and they came away with a decent amount of cash.  Plus, with the competition, it made it fun for everyone to watch.
  • So... this is probably a common issue, but I feel as though people respond with an answer/opinion sometimes without reading through things.  I realized my question wasn't as clear and posted a reply later that neither of us suggested/wanted it, nor did we need the money, but that friends and certain family are pushing it on us.  I personally had never known about the "tradition" and we have since decided against it.  I appreciate all the feedback, just wish some people would read through before posting replies!Thanks again!
  • I wasn't going to do one, thought it was so tacky too, BUT My cousin got over $600 on her's so I decided we could do one for honeymoon money.  Plus our DJ said we needed something to break up the dancing since we didn't do a bouquet or gater toss. We also got aroun $600 from a wedding of just over 100 people.  I'm glad we did it.  Our Dj phrased it nicely and I was not too embarassed about it. 
  • Our Dj also called it a honeymoon dance ... a small attempt to make the purpose clear. 
  • I went to a wedding last year where the dollar dance had been a tradition but the bride didn't want to do it. Instead she had a dollar dance and had the dj announce that the money was going to Doctors with out Boarders. She was able to dance with a ton of guests, and make money for a great cause. It actually went on for two songs b/c so many peopel wanted to participate. just an idea.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • I saw this dance done at my step-sister's wedding two years ago. That was the first time I had heard of it (grant it, all other weddings I have attended were before the age of 8, so I wouldn't remember if they even had it there). I never really thought about this dance. I would have to talk to my fiance. My family wouldn't find it offensive, but I want to make sure his wouldn't.
  • I will definitly be doing this dance at my wedding. Every wedding I have been to has had it and I think its fun. I don't find it tacky at all.
  • I don't think it's tacky only because EVERYONE does it. (At least almost every wedding I've been to...I'm used to it). The problem I have with it is everyone has to get off the dance floor (except for the 10 seconds you're dancing with the bride or groom). It just interrupts the fun, in my opinion.
  • I'm not having a dollar dance at my wedding. I think it's tacky. IMO you shouldn't think of any part of your wedding as a way to recoup the cost. The point of the wedding is to get married and have a party with all your friends and family. Most people will bring gifts, but it should never be expected. They've already sacraficed time getting dressed up, traveling to your wedding and waiting for you to arrive at the reception. Don't make them pay too!! I think the majority of weddings I've been to have had dollar dances, so it's pretty comonplace in my circle but I've never liked the idea as a bride and I've never participated as a guest.
  • My fiance wants to do it.  I had never heard of it until recently.  I had however heard of a "money tree."  I find both extremely tacky. 
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