Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Money Dance?


Re: Money Dance?

  • Just read the post about donating the money to Doctors without Borders.  In that case, I think it's a neat idea. 
  • We want to have one. Not really for the money, but that way anyone who wants to dance with us gets the chance, without us feeling like we have to spend an entire dance with them. That may sound rude, but we have a decent amount of people invited to the wedding, and we don't want to have 30 dances dedicated to specific members of the family or friends. This way everyone can come up, have a quick dance/picture and move on.
  • I agree with the pp, if there are people that find it tacky then they dont have to dance, but we will be doing it atour wedding. also, i went to a friend of mines wedding last year and she also did the dolce dance (a polish way of it and they also have where you can give money to take shots or pics...i just think its all fun and those who dont agree dont have to participate!!! GL on making ur decision
  • I've been to two weddings where the "dollar dance" was not done. They did, however, do variations which I didn't care for. one did a kidnapping of the bride and didn't bring her back until they got enough "ransom"the other auctioned off dances with the bride and with the groom
  • i have never in my LIFE seen a money dance.  i'd never heard of it until my sister and brother in law mentioned that the DJ at their wedding suggested it.  needless to say, they didn't do it.  i had no idea it was so popular that people out there had never been to a wedding without one.  maybe it's an american thing?  we're in canada (and jewish), so perhaps its just not done in our circles. i think that if it's a tradition in the family and expected that people should go for it. otherwise, i don't think you should do it.
  • our music was all screwed up so we only had the "important" songs like first dance, mom-son, father-daughter... a ton of our guests came up to us at the end and said here ya go... we brought it for the dollar dance but you didn't do one. Congrats... etc.
  • I have always thought that it was tacky. But almost all of the weddings that I have gone to have had one, and the couple has gotten a TON of money from it. I don't know if greed is rearing it's ugly head or if maybe my recessionista is kicking in, but I am starting to think that maybe it isn't such an awful idea. Also, I don't know if you'll think this is more tacky, but I did go to a wedding where they "autioned off" a dance with the bride and groom. It was called out just like a regular auction and whoever won got to dance with the couple. This way also made a lot more money than any money dance I've ever seen, the bride alone made over $500. I guess this method really depends on the guests attending though. Good luck, and remember, do whatever YOU as a couple want, let people think what they will. If you decide it's worth it go for it!
  • I'm not doing this at mine, however, I have never been to a wedding that didn't have one. And, as a guest, I actually thought it was fun and participated. Probably because the bride or the groom was always a friend, and I liked the idea of sending them off on their honeymoon with a little fun money. I think that a nice person can usually appreciate that a young couple these days spends quite a lot of money on their wedding and doesn't have a lot leftover for the honeymoon. As a guest who got a free meal, free drinks, a night of free dancing, and the opportunity to see people I love bond their love together, I absolutely had no problem shelling out money to dance with my friends. I never felt obligated to either. And keep in mind, gift giving is no longer as standard as it used to be. Not every guest will bring you a gift because it's not actually an obligation. You shouldn't expect gifts, just as you shouldn't necessarily expect everyone at the dollar dance to give you cash. If you're not comfortable with it, or doubting whether or not you should do it, don't worry about it. As a guest, like I said, I thought it was sweet. As a bride, however, I'm just not a huge dancer. I want to dance for part of the evening, but not allot a period of time to dance for money, with people from my fiance's side I'm not very acquainted with. Personal choice. I'd rather keep that bit of time free for my guests to dance however they want.
  • Terribly tacky in our opinion.  Every wedding I've ever been to has done one but that sure doesn't mean we will.  People are already buying gifts and half are spending 400$ on plane tickets to get there.  No way am I going to go begging for more cash.
  • I feel like it's tacky and money-grabbing if you do it just for the money. I think if it's not tradition in your family/your culture, you shouldn't do it. I had one, but I'm of Polish decent and have never been to a wedding in my family that didn't have a dollar dance. I used the traditional polka and not some cheesy song, and had a great time dancing with all my guests. But it's expected in my family--if my family wasn't Polish and didn't have dollar dances at their weddings, I wouldn't have done one.
  • I agree with Sara. Don't listen to these broods on here. All they do is sit on The Knot all day and find things to say to put you down. Whatever...I'm doing a money dance. I've been to weddings before that the Bride and Groom had a money dance and EVERYONE participated. It's tradition in most families, and it's fun! It's your wedding, if your guests find it tacky, well then they don't have to participate. Don't give a crap about what your guests have to say.. This is YOUR day do what you want to do. I think that if I were a guest, it adds more to your wedding night. A little one on one dancing with each of your guests. Even if they don't participate with money, your still having that moment with your guests. Have fun planning and stay out of the catty spiderwebs here!!!
  • fawnkay - I am kind of in a similar situation. It is very common where I come from but, like you, I have issues with it and when I mentioned this to my mother (who is funding the wedding) she got angry with me. As a compromise, we are accepting notes from our guests, which will be written on the back of their place cards, in place of the dollars. That way everyone is happy - we still get the one on one face time with our guests but we are not asking anyone to fork over any additional cash. HTH.
  • I think this is about the tackiest thing I've ever heard of. Think about it: You're dancing and people give you money. Only strippers do that! I don't know how that ever got incorporated into a wedding. I think the etiquette books would all agree: no, no, no!
  • Personally, I think whether it is done for some spending money or as a tradition it should boil down to what YOU guys want to do. I have been to weddings that have had them and havent and I dont think it is tacky. I am not sure, based on that other post, that it is fair to call those who have it "money grubbing" b/c how will the guests know if it is tradition or b/c you want the money. Its your day - do it if you want to! We are having one - I think its a great way to spend a few mintues with the guests I might not otherwise and if they dont have a dollar, I am still going to have the DJ encourage them to come up to dance.
  • I think that you're the only one who will over analyze it if you do have one. I think besides money, it gives family members a chance to spend a few moments with you without feeling bad. Yeah, you can look at it as them "buying time with you", but if you're having a large wedding, a lot of relatives may feel like you are too busy, and they dont' want to inconvenience you. If you have the dollar dance, they will likely not feel "guilty" by taking up your time because in their minds, they've earned it.
  • We recently attended a wedding where the bride and groom had a Money Dance and we found it REALLY tacky and awkward. First of all, it seems degrading to have to BUY time with someone. It makes you feel like they don't care that you're there and wouldn't dance with you unless you paid them. It just cheapened the occasion. Second, it felt like the Bride and Groom were being a little greedy trying to extract even MORE money from the guests. We (happily) spent the time and money to travel to the wedding and buy a nice gift for the couple. The Money Dance was insulting and seemed like a tacky way to get even more from us. Lastly, it created an awkward situation when (weeks later) the "bride" mentioned that we didn't dance with her. What could we say? We tactfully told her we didn't feel right about "buying" her and would have otherwise loved to dance. Please DON'T do this to your guests. They want to be there to share your happy day with you. Your guests don't want to feel like you only want them there for their gifts and money (even if it's true).
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  • FI tried to convince me, it's a tradition on his side and not on mine, and I said no because of the akwardness and tacky feeling I know my fam would feel about it.
  • I put myself through college by bartending weddings at the exact site where we are having our reception. I've NEVER been to or worked a wedding where the dollar dance was NOT done. Being in charge of the dollar dance is one of the things my MOH is looking forward to the most! (I don't know if this is typical for all dollar dances, but around here the MOH and Best Man pass out shots to everyone when they pay their dollar)... And it isn't like you are BEGGING for money... It's ONE DOLLAR, and if someone doesn't want to give it, they just don't get in line.
  • We are doing it at ours. Its a tradition in our family, and its a neat way to get a little extra cash for the honeymoon...but my family will almost expect it at ours.
    Visit The Knot! Wedding Countdown Ticker T L = Mr. & Mrs. Bell 8.28.2010
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