Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Wedding Night...

I have a general many couples actually consummate their marriage the night of their wedding? I just keep thinking that we'll be WAY too exhausted to do anything but sleep. I hope that this question is not inappropriate, but seeing as we are all about to enter into marriage or have entered into marriage already, I can safely assume that we are all adults? :)Angela

Re: Wedding Night...

  • I have asked every one of my married girl friends and none of the have consumated their wedding on the wedding day...the next day, of course, was a different story.
  • we did. :) we promised each other we would no matter how tired we were!!
  • We did. And then again the next day. I didn't think we would, but we had so much adrenaline and champagne that we weren't about to fall asleep right away.
  • I'm of the opinion that I might be too tired. That's going to be a loooong day.
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  • Many of my friends have said they didn't. I plan to, just because you only get the emotion of that night once. But I don't think it is uncommon not to.
  • I think for couples who are waiting to have sex until they are married, most likely they do on the wedding night. For the rest of us, I think most do not, but a few do.
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  • We did. I told him at the rehearsal dinner not to worry about it until the morning after because I KNEW we would be too tired.But after waking up at 6:30 am and not finishing with the reception (cleaning and unpacking the cars) until 1:30am, we got home, got undressed, and plopped in bed.After five minutes he looked at me and said, "You still awake?"" wanna do it?""I thought you'd never ask!":)
  • Sargesgirl-That is really adorable. Lol. Btw, I LOVE your bouquet!Angela
  • Thanks, Angela. It was smaller than we thought it would be, but still really pretty. :)
  • At my first wedding, my (now ex)husband was too drunk from the after-party and passed out on the bed (on top of the covers, with his shoes on). So, this time around I made my FI promise not to make me wait. As mentioned before, you only have one wedding night. You might as well make it as memorable as possible.
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  • My DD and her FI stopped having sex in April so their wedding night will be special. I think it'll be desperate but that's me LOL. But I know we were too tired,  plus the stress was still there until the next AM
  • No problem! It is beautiful!I love all the responses to this question. I just keep thinking 'I'm going to be so exhausted'....and I'm sad about that. Lol. But, maybe it will happen like a couple of you....where we turn out to both want to in the end anyway. *Shrug*. Thanks for all the advice!Angela
  • We did. Most other couples I know did too. It's one of those anticipation things that wipe away the exhaustion.
  • We did. We waited till marriage though, so we didn't care at that point how tired we were. it was amazing, and the next day was even better! ;-)
  • I'm planning on not. Simply because I think it will be great fun to sit and think "Everyone thinks we're doing it right now". Maybe I'm just nuts, but I think the idea is hysterical!
  • By no means am I stressing about it. I was more just curious how many couples actually do, because it's so cliche. I would like to, but who knows how tired we will be. Haha. I am assuming we'll be exhausted....but since we are not going on a honeymoon, we are getting a hotel room that, why waste it? :P
  • I think with him having to put up with the wedding, if i didn't put out the night of he would have it anulled!!!
  • I told my fiance that I'd read that some people don't and he said "WHAT!". So I don't think I have to worry about him saying he's too tired and it always takes me an hour to go to sleep so why waste an hour?!? We most definitely will!! 10/10/10 Bride!!
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  • A few of my friends have given me the best advice ever: Dont expect it on the wedding night.Its very rare that people have enough energy for a full night of love making.The best bet is to get a hotel room with a comfy bed,and if you'll be staying more than one night,opt for a jacuzzi for the relaxing and romantic day to destress and have fun!
  • I'm often "too tired" and feel bad enough about that, but I can't imagine letting that get in the way on our wedding night. It's like the gym, no matter how tired you are, once you get there, you're happy you went.
  • we have set an EXIT time of 9pm so we will be sure to still have some time together to enjoy being married and not be too tired!!! Thats a total of 4 hours with our guests...the ceremony starts at 5 dinner at 6 we leave at 9! We never miss any opportunity to abuse a hotel room though :-)
  • sofly--- LOL i LOVE that now i'm sure i'm thats all i'll be thinking about.
  • I think this is sort of a funny question, but one that a lot of us think about and might not ask anyone or just don't think twice about it. I feel the same way as you that we are going to be SO TIRED by the end of the day. It is going to be a really long and wonderful day! But I don't think you have to  consummate the marriage because that is what we are supposed to do that that night. I think putting to high of expectations, might actually ruin the night. I say wait til the next day and for the honeymoon!!! Who knows though everything might change we wont know until its our night!
  • I really haven't given that much thought about what will happen the night of my wedding.  But now that you brought it up, I think we will! I do agree, I'm sure a lot of couples are exhausted the night of their wedding just because of everything that happened that day, but that is the first time you will make love (or whatever you want to call it) as a married couple. I wouldn't stress over it because then you are going to drive yourself crazy.  If it happens thats great, congrats! if not then you will be ready to go in the morning! just relax!
  • chest173~i totally agree with you! My FI and I are going to stop having sex 3 months before so that our wedding night is more special than if we did it the day before. If we're too tired and we don't then oh well, I'm sure we'll get plenty on the honeymoon. But, I think if we're both tipsy then we probably will. It's just what we do...;) haha
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  • I know most of our friends said they did not just because the events of the day left them exhasted but I am going to try and make it. The weird part will be is that he will more than likely be the one that will not want to because he will be too tired.
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  • I guess it would depend on the couples sex drive.  We fully intend to before the reception starts lol I would hope that the emotions and booze and attractions to each other would be so high there would be no way not to.  So i guess get a lot of rest the night before, and hope for the best
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  • I think that if you over think every detail including the wedding night you might be dissapointed. Go with the flow and I'm sure it will happen, don't make it happen, let it happen.
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  • we were going to do it, we really wanted to especailly since we hadnt had a night alone that whole week lol. But i got a killer headache and lost my advil and we were so tired that we couldnt even run a bath right lol. Go with the flow, the marriage will not be a flop just because you didnt have sex that night. We woke up to it and it was amazing and then we passed out again. Just do not stress out about that, relax and see where the night takes you
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  • We did not even though we were restless. We spent the night learning about being there for each other. We decided when we got together to wait till we were married but that first night he was too nervous it took us time to get used to seeing each other that way.
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