Family Medallion Ceremony

RWS2011

Hello,

This is my first post on this message board.  I am a single mother who won't be single too much longer (the ring is on layaway... so it is only a matter of time!)  My daughter will be 10 by the time of the ceremony.  She's very excited about my BF and I getting married and is sad that she will be too old to be a flower girl.  I suggested that she could be a junior bridesmaid and she really liked the idea of that.  

However, I wanted to do something more meaningful and symbolic at the ceremony to honor the fact that this is a union between a man and a partial family.  My BF is very open to the idea of something like a Medallion or Sand Ceremony.  I guess I am just curious if anyone on this board has done, is planning to do, or has seen something like this in a ceremony.  I had never heard of it before I starting searching around different links on TK.  I really like the idea, but also don't want to put my daughter on the spot.  

Thoughts?  Comments?  Thanks in advance for any insight you may have on this issue. 

Avion22

Even though you're not a second-time bride, I recommend you look at the Second Weddings board (under Special Topics Wedding Boards on the left).  There are several posts, including a sticky at the top of the board, about incorporating children/blended families into a wedding ceremony.

My only advice would be to keep all promises between YOU and the GROOM.  Kids are too young to say vows or make promises to love somebody or accept someone new into their family.  I kind of feel like the sand ceremony is symbolic of such a promise, though other people may feel differently. 

However, it's fine for you and the groom to make promises to HER, including giving her a token or gift symbolic of your promise (I've never heard of the medalion ceremony, but I'm guessing it's something like this?).   

RWS2011

Thanks for the suggestion to check out the other board.  And, you are correct, we make the promises to the child.  Also, the non-biological parent presents the medallion as a symbolic gesture of their commitment to the child.

Avion22

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_family-medallion-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:28758302-77ea-49a5-b1f4-7c436dfd0301Post:2deffaa0-c81f-4061-af35-a567cf1d8acc">Re: Family Medallion Ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for the suggestion to check out the other board.  And, you are correct, we make the promises to the child.  Also, the non-biological parent presents the medallion as a symbolic gesture of their commitment to the child.
Posted by RWS2011[/QUOTE]

<div>That sounds really nice:-)</div>

vexie

We did this!  I married a widower with two small girls (ages 5 & 3).  They were our flowergirls and then after my hubby and I exchanged vows, we had the girls join us at the alter.  I made some promises to them and then we gave them lockets with the date we all became a family engraved on the back.  Over and over we've heard how that was by far the sweetest part of the entire day and the girls were just so excited to be part of the day.   We also included them in the last minute of our first dance which was another really moment for us as a family

jjolovich

Ive seen it done with sand, during the unity candle part. Where each person has there own colored sand, and each person poured in a little bit of there color and then they all poured in sand at the same time to mix together. Very neat! My Fi and i plan on doing the sand for our ceremony.

naomikb

I haven't heard of a medallion ceremony or know the details surrounding it, but sand ceremonies are common.  You can each have your own colour of sand and blend them to show your merging together as a new family.  They sell kits, but it's cheaper to just buy glass vases and coloured sand at Michael's/the dollar store.

If your officiant hasn't done one before, there are some sample wordings online.
http://www.officiantguy.com/sandceremony.html

Also, there's no reason why she can't be a full-blown "bridesmaid" - the "junior" title isn't necessary.

dumdumfroggie

I've seen the medallion ceremony twice.  I thought it was very sweet and simple both times.

Also, my uncle just got married to a woman with 3 daughters.  The oldest daughter 10-12ish was actually her MOH.

RLFuller

I have been a single mother the majority of my childrens life.  My fiance and I have lived together for the last 2 1/2 yrs.  He has been the father that my children never truly had.  We will be married this September.  After we exchange rings, we will be doing a family ceremony where he makes a vow to my children, to continue loving them as he does me.  We are also presenting them with a family medallion, to symoblize it.  We think that it is important for my children to know that he loves and cares for them just as much as he does me, and that he seems them as our children and not just mine.  THere are several example ceremonies online to help with wording, or you can create your own vows for the children.  Also, there is no rule set in stone saying your 10yr old can be your flower girl.  My daughter is 14 and she will be my flower girl, she is excited about it.