Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

How do we ask the groom's parents for help?

Basically.... Im the bride, and my parents "arent  helping" :(
Can we ask HIS parents?
How should we ask?

Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help?

  • You don't ask.  You plan the wedding you and your fiance can afford (whatever that is!  If it means you have ten guests, then there ya go).

    If they offer - bonus for you!

    Asking won't go over well - I assure you.
  • Joy is exactly right. It's extremely rude to ask others to fund your wedding...if family members want to offer monetary assistance, rest assured that they will do so without you and your FI asking them.
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  • ditto both pps.  The short answer to your question is "You don't."

    The longer answer is:  you plan the wedding that you and your FI can afford without any financial assistance.  A wedding doesn't have to be a 30K PPD for you to have a lovely wedding, and more important, to be married.

    Are you actually engaged yet?  You don't have a FI's name nor a wedding date in your bio.

    How much time do you have before you're married?  How much money will you be able to save for a wedding?  Now plan the wedding that fits that budget.

    GL
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • You don't ask parents to contribute to your wedding. Plan what you can pay for.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:523ab026-89d6-4be9-a5df-1c097e0e1845">Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]ditto both pps.  The short answer to your question is "You don't." The longer answer is:  you plan the wedding that you and your FI can afford without any financial assistance.  A wedding doesn't have to be a 30K PPD for you to have a lovely wedding, and more important, to be married. <strong>Are you actually engaged yet?  You don't have a FI's name nor a wedding date in your bio</strong>. How much time do you have before you're married?  How much money will you be able to save for a wedding?  Now plan the wedding that fits that budget. GL
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

    Yeah trix, I was wondering about this, too.

    You don't. If you are old enough to get married, you will have to figure out how to pay for it yourselves. If either set of parents want to help, either by doing things or monetary, then fine. But it isn't required. Host the wedding you can afford. You may have to wait a while until you save up enough money.

    We paid for our wedding ourselves and are very glad we did. No, it wasn't the most extravagent affair, but it was still very nice.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:54bd5065-f33a-4f27-afd5-33562859ddfd">How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Basically.... Im the bride, and my parents "arent  helping" :( Can we ask HIS parents? How should we ask?
    Posted by traceoflace[/QUOTE]


    No. You can't ask. They can <strong>offer</strong> on their own. If they don't offer, tough cookies, pay for your own wedding.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    "Meg cracks me up on the regular. Now she gets to do it in two different forums. Yay!!" ~mkrupar
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:6518a582-b2a1-4b2a-bb9a-d1c45f7d3994">Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]You don't ask.  You plan the wedding you and your fiance can afford (whatever that is!  If it means you have ten guests, then there ya go). If they offer - bonus for you! Asking won't go over well - I assure you.
    Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

    This. All you need to get married is a license. A wedding is an necessary party. You don't ask people to pay for your party. They may offer, but that is different.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

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    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:1d343a2c-0414-4009-a732-6edab204fdde">Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help? : This. All you need to get married is a license. A wedding is an necessary party. You don't ask people to pay for your party. They may offer, but that is different.
    Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

    You probably wanted to say that a wedding is an UNneccessary party, right?  =)
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:02fa1460-87d3-4a96-8ef5-ab16a5bd7740">Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help? : You probably wanted to say that a wedding is an UNneccessary party, right?  =)
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

    haha, yes.

    Planning Bio
    Married 9/15/11

    image
    *This is Not Legal Advice*
  • Like everyone else has said, your parents aren't obligated to "help" pay for your party, and neither are his. If you want a certain type of wedding, save up. We set a wedding date for 22 months from when we got engaged so that we could pay for the wedding ourselves while still house shopping.
    imageimageimage
  • And if somebody is generous enough to offer you money for you wedding, don't sign any contracts until you have the cash in your hand.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Your (and his) parents aren't morons.  They know weddings cost money, and they know that you would appreciate some help.  If they're in a position to and want to give you money, they will offer.

    Asking just puts them in an awkward position, whether or not they planned to contribute.  
  • If they're interested, they'll offer.  If they're not interested, they're not.  Either way, the conversation is never going to end well.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

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    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
  • You shouldn't ever assume anyone will help you with your wedding.  It's a party, pay for it yourself. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:54bd5065-f33a-4f27-afd5-33562859ddfd">How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Basically.... Im the bride, and my parents "arent  helping" :( Can we ask HIS parents? How should we ask?
    Posted by traceoflace[/QUOTE]

    I agree with the previous posters.  You and your fiance pay for your own wedding. If you can't afford your wedding this year, put it off until you can.  Don't ever ask people who basically raised you and your fiance to the people you've become for money. It's rude, and distasteful.

    "The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart." ~ Miss K ~
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