How do we ask the groom's parents for help?

traceoflace · July 2010

Basically.... Im the bride, and my parents "arent helping"
Can we ask HIS parents?
How should we ask?

AdeleDazeem · July 2010

You don't ask. You plan the wedding you and your fiance can afford (whatever that is! If it means you have ten guests, then there ya go).

If they offer - bonus for you!

Asking won't go over well - I assure you.

twilight.rose · July 2010

Joy is exactly right. It's extremely rude to ask others to fund your wedding...if family members want to offer monetary assistance, rest assured that they will do so without you and your FI asking them.

trix1223 · July 2010

ditto both pps. The short answer to your question is "You don't."

The longer answer is: you plan the wedding that you and your FI can afford without any financial assistance. A wedding doesn't have to be a 30K PPD for you to have a lovely wedding, and more important, to be married.

Are you actually engaged yet? You don't have a FI's name nor a wedding date in your bio.

How much time do you have before you're married? How much money will you be able to save for a wedding? Now plan the wedding that fits that budget.

GL

Lisa8888 · July 2010

You don't ask parents to contribute to your wedding. Plan what you can pay for.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:523ab026-89d6-4be9-a5df-1c097e0e1845">Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
[QUOTE]ditto both pps. The short answer to your question is "You don't." The longer answer is: you plan the wedding that you and your FI can afford without any financial assistance. A wedding doesn't have to be a 30K PPD for you to have a lovely wedding, and more important, to be married. <strong>Are you actually engaged yet? You don't have a FI's name nor a wedding date in your bio</strong>. How much time do you have before you're married? How much money will you be able to save for a wedding? Now plan the wedding that fits that budget. GL
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

Yeah trix, I was wondering about this, too.

You don't. If you are old enough to get married, you will have to figure out how to pay for it yourselves. If either set of parents want to help, either by doing things or monetary, then fine. But it isn't required. Host the wedding you can afford. You may have to wait a while until you save up enough money.

We paid for our wedding ourselves and are very glad we did. No, it wasn't the most extravagent affair, but it was still very nice.

megk8oz · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:54bd5065-f33a-4f27-afd5-33562859ddfd">How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
[QUOTE]Basically.... Im the bride, and my parents "arent helping" :( Can we ask HIS parents? How should we ask?
Posted by traceoflace[/QUOTE]

No. You can't ask. They can <strong>offer</strong> on their own. If they don't offer, tough cookies, pay for your own wedding.

redheadfsu · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:6518a582-b2a1-4b2a-bb9a-d1c45f7d3994">Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
[QUOTE]You don't ask. You plan the wedding you and your fiance can afford (whatever that is! If it means you have ten guests, then there ya go). If they offer - bonus for you! Asking won't go over well - I assure you.
Posted by Joy2611[/QUOTE]

This. All you need to get married is a license. A wedding is an necessary party. You don't ask people to pay for your party. They may offer, but that is different.

trix1223 · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:1d343a2c-0414-4009-a732-6edab204fdde">Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help? : This. All you need to get married is a license. A wedding is an necessary party. You don't ask people to pay for your party. They may offer, but that is different.
Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

You probably wanted to say that a wedding is an UNneccessary party, right? =)

redheadfsu · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:02fa1460-87d3-4a96-8ef5-ab16a5bd7740">Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help? : You probably wanted to say that a wedding is an UNneccessary party, right? =)
Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]

haha, yes.

kristinanddan · July 2010

Like everyone else has said, your parents aren't obligated to "help" pay for your party, and neither are his. If you want a certain type of wedding, save up. We set a wedding date for 22 months from when we got engaged so that we could pay for the wedding ourselves while still house shopping.

zitiqueen · July 2010

And if somebody is generous enough to offer you money for you wedding, don't sign any contracts until you have the cash in your hand.

MyNameIsNot · July 2010

Your (and his) parents aren't morons. They know weddings cost money, and they know that you would appreciate some help. If they're in a position to and want to give you money, they will offer.

Asking just puts them in an awkward position, whether or not they planned to contribute.

aerinpegadrak · July 2010

If they're interested, they'll offer. If they're not interested, they're not. Either way, the conversation is never going to end well.

frenchy730 · July 2010

You shouldn't ever assume anyone will help you with your wedding. It's a party, pay for it yourself.

kpwedkk · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_ask-grooms-parents?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:2d4b66bf-74cb-45b6-8d97-ab64674458adPost:54bd5065-f33a-4f27-afd5-33562859ddfd">How do we ask the groom's parents for help?</a>:
[QUOTE]Basically.... Im the bride, and my parents "arent helping" :( Can we ask HIS parents? How should we ask?
Posted by traceoflace[/QUOTE]

I agree with the previous posters. You and your fiance pay for your own wedding. If you can't afford your wedding this year, put it off until you can. Don't ever ask people who basically raised you and your fiance to the people you've become for money. It's rude, and distasteful.

How do we ask the groom's parents for help?

Re: How do we ask the groom's parents for help?

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