MOH duties, special situation

redbooboopanda

My bf asked me to be her MOH and im very excited and honored. However this wedding is a little different. It is going to be tiny, less than 10 people! so i am not sure what to do in terms of bridal shower. I have always thought you shouldnt invite people to the shower that arent being invited to the wedding, being that the wedding is so small, how can i give her a proper shower? Anybody run into a similar situations? any ideas for an alternative? Any help is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

trix1223

I don't think that the size of the guest list changes etiquette.  You friend is choosing to have a wedding with 10 guests.  By choosing that, she lives with the consequences of that decision, one of which is that there porbably won't be a shower.

You can try something different:  perhaps invite female guests out for a luncheon or tea if you feel compelled to do something.

But it would be very, very poor taste to invite people to a shower, particularly knowing they're not invited to the wedding.  That comes across as "You're not good enough to make the cut for the ceremony, but I really want your gifts."

tidetravel

Yep, Trix is right.  If it is that small, then a shower is kind of pointless.

MyNameIsNot

The rule still applies, you can't invite people to the shower that aren't invited to the wedding. 

You may be able to get away with a b-party, though.  Normally the same rule applies, but people are a little more forgiving about a b-party when it is a tiny wedding. 

Other than that, just ask your friend what you can do to help her.

aerinpegadrak

We're doing a b-party for my DW, but not a shower.  While we have a large guest list (about 50), everyone's so scattered that a shower isn't worth it. 

If what the bride wants is the girly tea party angle of the shower, you can always throw her a girly tea party and make no mention of gifts.  It's the gift angle of a shower that makes it inappropriate to invite non-wedding guests.

Sarah-Jean

My cousin had a similar wedding (just parents, siblings & grandparents). I was a little upset at first because we were close at the time (about five yrs ago), however, completely understood that that's what she wanted.
BUT THEN....I got an invite to a shower!!! So tacky--basically you want a gift from me, but you don't want me to see you get married?!
I think that if a bride decided to have such a small gathering, she should fully expect that she isn't going to have a shower, or if she does, it'll be a small one. I agree that a small lunch would be nice, but DON'T invite people who aren't invited to the wedding.