MOH duties, special situation

Re: MOH duties, special situation

• trix1223 member

  

  February 2010

  I don't think that the size of the guest list changes etiquette.  You friend is choosing to have a wedding with 10 guests.  By choosing that, she lives with the consequences of that decision, one of which is that there porbably won't be a shower.
  
  You can try something different:  perhaps invite female guests out for a luncheon or tea if you feel compelled to do something.
  
  But it would be very, very poor taste to invite people to a shower, particularly knowing they're not invited to the wedding.  That comes across as "You're not good enough to make the cut for the ceremony, but I really want your gifts."
  

  "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146

  Report0 Reply
• tidetravel member

  

  February 2010

  Yep, Trix is right.  If it is that small, then a shower is kind of pointless.

  Holy Crap. We survived the first year!
  http://tidetravel.weebly.com/index.html
  
  

  Report0 Reply
• MyNameIsNot member

  

  February 2010

  The rule still applies, you can't invite people to the shower that aren't invited to the wedding. 
  
  You may be able to get away with a b-party, though.  Normally the same rule applies, but people are a little more forgiving about a b-party when it is a tiny wedding. 
  
  Other than that, just ask your friend what you can do to help her.

  Report0 Reply
• aerinpegadrak member

  

  February 2010

  We're doing a b-party for my DW, but not a shower.  While we have a large guest list (about 50), everyone's so scattered that a shower isn't worth it. 
  
  If what the bride wants is the girly tea party angle of the shower, you can always throw her a girly tea party and make no mention of gifts.  It's the gift angle of a shower that makes it inappropriate to invite non-wedding guests.
  

  This is a neglected planning bio.
  This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.
  
  
  Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284

  Report0 Reply
• Sarah-Jean

  

  February 2010

  My cousin had a similar wedding (just parents, siblings & grandparents). I was a little upset at first because we were close at the time (about five yrs ago), however, completely understood that that's what she wanted.
  BUT THEN....I got an invite to a shower!!! So tacky--basically you want a gift from me, but you don't want me to see you get married?!
  I think that if a bride decided to have such a small gathering, she should fully expect that she isn't going to have a shower, or if she does, it'll be a small one. I agree that a small lunch would be nice, but DON'T invite people who aren't invited to the wedding.

  Report0 Reply