Bridal Assistant

kellie_B

I am contemplating haveing a bridal attendant/assistant for my wedding.  What exactly are the duties of one and does one mention them in the program and thank them with a gift or money?  Im thinking of asking my friend so it feels kinda wierd paying them since they actually offered to do it..are they part of the party so would they come in the limo with us?!?
any helpful advice would be useful

Thanks

MyNameIsNot

If your friend is a professional wedding assistant/coordinator, approach her and ask her about whether she'd be interested in working your wedding.  Depending on her situation, she may offer a discounted rate, or she may prefer not to mix business with pleasure.  You can then discuss with her what exactly you'd like her to do and what's in her standard contract.  She probably has a list of what services she provides.

Hiring a friend who is not a professional is a bad idea for a lot of reasons.  She won't really know what she is expected to do, you can screw up the friendship if you are disappointed with her services, she may feel that you don't really want her at your wedding as a friend, but to be part of the staff, she doesn't get the opportunity to enjoy your wedding with the rest of your guests, etc.

You should expect to pay the going rate for this.  This is a lot of work, and to expect a friend to do it for a token gift is really insulting.  A coordinator is absolutely not necessary, but if you want someone to do it, you need to pay for it.

If you want to hire an assistant/coordinator, check with your local board and other local vendor listings to hire one.  You can also find someone who is just starting out by searching craigslist, and often get them for a good deal, but always check references. 

Who ever you end up going with, they are a vendor, not a member of your wedding party.  They should be paid their contract rate, and possibly tipped.  Just as you wouldn't put the DJ in your program or limo, you wouldn't do so with this person either. 

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_bridal-assistant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:34fa83bb-b370-4b47-8ca8-9d61a358efc0Post:295936e4-9aef-40fc-8704-ecef4f40a67e">Bridal Assistant</a>:
[QUOTE]I am contemplating haveing a bridal attendant/assistant for my wedding.  What exactly are the duties of one and does one mention them in the program and thank them with a gift or money?  Im thinking of asking my friend so it feels kinda wierd paying them since they actually offered to do it..are they part of the party so would they come in the limo with us?!? any helpful advice would be useful Thanks
Posted by kellie_B[/QUOTE]

If you have bridesmaids you have attendants.  That's what they are.  But a bridal assistant or personal assistant is a job, not an honor.

As myname said, if you feel you need a bridal assistant, hire one.  Does your venue have a coordinator on staff?  Then that's your person.  I can't imagine what else you'd need an "assistant" for, particularly if you already have a WP.

Please don't ask someone to come to your wedding, wait on you and run your errands all day and then not pay them accordingly.  Because they won't be able to enjoy the party if they have to "attend" to you.

IMO, if a venue has a DOC, you don't need your own "personal assistant".  Sounds pretty AW to me.

duckie1905

Hire someone to do this.  Otherwise, it is just using your friends that weren't good enough to make the WP cut as unpaid labor.  This isn't an honor it is a chore.  Even if they offered to do it, it still sucks.

bbyckes

Yes, hire someone to do this and preferably not a friend.  If your friend is offering her help, I wouldn't treat her as a second class citizen - she can't sit in the limo with you?