Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Pre-marital counseling?

My preacher requires my fiance and I to get pre-marital counseling.  I am really nervous and have no ideawhat to expect (as I am the shy type)!  Any one have advice or can tell me what to expect?!  Does the preacher ask if we've had sex? (That may be a dumb question, but my friend-- who is not married-- told me they do, and I DO NOT want to tell my preacher who has known me for years that we have before!!!!)  Anyone?

Re: Pre-marital counseling?

  • Our pastor was really cool and didn't ask any super personal questions (sex, etc.) We talked mostly about conflict resolution, the Biblical view of marriage, etc. We actually did a couple of really interesting exercises that H and I quite enjoyed.

    Every pastor is different, of course, but I wouldn't worry if I were you. If it's even remotely similar to the sessions we had, it's painless!
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
  • hmm well i haven't done pre-martial counseling but we did do the pre-martial classes. and as pp said they don't ask you outright questions about sex. in the class they did talk about sex in a general way but it didn't get into personal questions. the classes focused mainly on communication, conflict resolution, family planning, finaces, etc. i was nervous before we went to the but i found them helpful and not scary at all.
  • We got married in the Catholic Church, so we were required to do pre-cana with our priest and also a weekend long retreat called Engaged Encounter. We got a lot out of both of them.

    The pastor is not going to ask you directly about sex, he may just ask you to examine your consciene regarding that topic. He will likely talk about what marriage means to you, etc.

    I wouldn't sweat it too much. Just go in there with an open mind and heart and be honest with him. Good luck
  • I did Catholic pre-marital prep, and the focus was on communication.  Several members of the class were already living together, so I don't think counseling against premarital sex would have been especially timely.  The goal of the preparation is to prepare you for a success marriage, not to make you feel guilty about your past.  I wouldn't worry about it.
  • If you feel a question is too personal or not appropriate, you can say you're not comfortable answering it.  They shouldn't force you into it.
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